Psychopath

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I've just learnt apparently one per cent of the population is a psychopath.
But generally not in the film way (e.g American Psycho) but in an actual mental health way (e.g high impulsivity/low boredom threshold/egocentric/superficially charming/liars).
There's the Hare Checklist which I've got really into.
But what it boils down is that they don't seem to feel emotions.
I can't comprehend this - I get angry and sad and anxious and all the emotions - and am fascinated. One per seems huge.
Does anyone think they know a psychopath? Genuinely? This isn't an AIBU BTW. I'm honestly just really interested.

My counsellor said my now ex husband is a psychopath. I was shocked as you have in your head what you see in films but he shows no emotion, has no feelings, shows no empathy on top of being abusive, serial cheat etc. I think if I hadn’t left, I’d be dead by now - either through the stress or at his hands. They are scary people - dead behind the eyes.

i know of someone who might be.
it's hard to know.
at first i thought he was being funny, or striking a pose, or being ironic, or something.
but it has become clearer over time, he is as he presents.
he is highly suspicious of everyone, thinks every profession is a con, that he knows as much, could do it himself.
he never consults or seeks advice on anything.
doesn't inform others of things that affect them.
doesn't care. does what he likes. very domineering, at times intimidating, overbearing in manner.
expects to be obeyed.

never apologises. no self-reflection. no accountability.

I’ve recently come across someone at work who is a psychopath or sociopath - not sure which but he compulsively lies and makes up stuff even when it doesn’t benefit him, his whole world was created on lies and gossip at work.
He played every card and angle, tried every different emotion, started fires everywhere to distract that he was doing this and not his job.

Its been a total head fuck, I don’t know what he’d be termed or diagnosed with, but it’s def no neurotypical.

Truly fascinating. I also got down a rabbit hole once of watching "Explore with us" YouTube videos which are police interrogations of people who are being investigated for murder(s) and all usually psychopaths, the web of lies they tell, their body language, lack of remorse, feelings of grandiose etc etc. very interesting.

I would say I know of one or two people that tick off about half of the Hare Score which may categorise them better into other "personality disorders" and/or some mental health problems like bipolar.

Going to check the Hare score

My mother was a diagnosed psychopath. I was taken into care because she was harming me. I still have nightmares about her.

Yes, my dad and quite possibly my ex-husband. Several people I've worked with. You don't really notice until they do something "inhuman" or unless they get very angry in your presence.

I don't think it's true that they don't feel any emotions. They're all super-capable of anger. They won't rage unless they feel it's safe - they can, instead, plot devastating revenge and execute it over time. They feel love, though it may look to the rest of us more like ownership. They feel excitement, exhilaration, most things. But not compassion. They can't comprehend other people as being alive like they are, or don't care if they do. They can't feel empathy. They're also very, very low on fear and multiple tests have shown they don't recognise it in others - they read it as anger.

Classic Dad moment:
Me as a small child, reeling from a giant punch: "What was that for?"
Dad: "Nothing, I just felt like it."
He found this entertaining.
He did have good points, though obviously they were somewhat dwarfed for me by his sadism.

@stbrandonsboat

I read somewhere that a psychopath doesn't yawn when someone yawns in front of them. Apparently because the reason we yawn is to intake a large amount of oxygen when our breathing slows/shallows which is why it's associated with tiredness/boredom. When you see someone yawn Apparently your brain panics there's a lack of oxygen and also takes in a large amount through yawning. Because psychopaths are reported to lack empathy (not caring if you're going to suffocate) they don't have the same response. This of course could be absolute twoddle but I secretly hope it isn't so I can dramatically yaw at people and see what their response is - off to Google!

Sounds like my BIL!

In the first series of Luther, he (police investigator and psychologist) yawns to see if the apparent victim of a crime also yawns. She doesn’t, and that’s how he knows she’s actually the perp, not the victim.

Psychos exist in all the higher echelons of power, law, medicine etc. Having few emotions means you are not wavering when it comes to making decisions that could be waylaid by regular human emotions. There’s a neuro scientist who developed a brain scan to detect psychopaths. He had no idea that when he had his own brain scanned as a competitor, it would show he was a psychopath. He was pretty alarmed by this, but his wife and kids confirmed he was a pretty emotionally unavailable person. However, he had grown up in an extremely loving, nurturing and educated family, and was a very driven man in his medical field. So his qualities as a psychopath were channelled in a constructive way. (He was also the descendant of a famous American murderess). I think there’s a statistic that the highest number of psychopaths per profession has surgeons at the top of the list, followed by lawyers and politicians. If nurtured constructively, children who are psychopaths don’t have to end up being destructive adults. But I believe there is a category called “narcissistic psychopath”, and that’s where you get trouble.

This is so true. We all assume psychopaths are murderers, but actually the psychopaths who have been the product of abusive/neglectful upbringing turn into the rose wests. The well brought up psychopaths turn into ceo's.

I taught a child who was a sociopath which i think is similar. Well, the Ed psych said she couldn't doagnose him as such at 10 but he had a the hallmarks - anti social personality disorder she called it. He was incredibly manipulative, very very charming and a compulsive liar, exceptionally intelligent and literally zero empathy or emotion. He was only 10 and he scared the shit out of me, the nastiest cruellest person I've ever known, worse than my abusive ex who was in his 40s. Only child I've ever ever met in all my years of teaching who I KNEW was beyond any help

Jon Ronson - The Psychopath Test (non fiction) is a brilliant book, the first chapter is a bit weird but after that, I couldn't put it down.

I don't think the reason yawning is contagious is yet fully understood by science is it?

The last thing I listened to about it said the latest theory is that it is a social cue to ensure group cohesion.

Many animal groups show contagious yawning so I don't think it's related to lack of empathy in humans at all. I can make my cat yawn by yawning and he is definitely without empathy

The not yawning = a psychopath thing is absolute nonsense. A myth.

My child doesn't catch yawns, ever. She's 8 and I've not once seen her do it (and I've tried to get her to do it a lot, sneakily!).

She's just autistic and doesn't pick up on other peoples social cues. She feels ALL the feelings though (including empathy by the bucketload!).

Love people deciding that the yawning / oxygen / psychopath things are FACT and referencing TV shows as evidence 😆

I know a sociopath. Was telling me about taking his driving test and how he never gets nervous about anything.

Also a compulsive liar. He will say anything to impress someone. He doesn't seem to realise that when people find out he has been lying they will want nothing to do with him.

The superficial charm is the best way to spot them. After that, watch and wait, because sooner or later you will catch them. They will talk about something difficult/traumatic/unpleasant in exactly the same casual way they would talk about the weather, but with just a tiny bit of pleasure/interest/excitement. It’s just totally ‘off’ and then you can’t unsee it if that makes sense. I’ve met several. They are so charming at first.

Yes, not diagnosed but definitely a Psychopath. He was charming, would lie constantly, believed that he deserved the world, had zero remorse or guilt. Was adept at feigning emotion to get what he wanted but it would later become apparent he hadn't felt anything at all. I was with him for a long time and nearly lost my mind due to the constant gaslighting. He'd groomed me from a teenager so I hadn't known any different :(

He also has like a 'glib' way of talking if you get what I mean. He can talk about anything and sound sincere and genuine at first. Then the next day or whatever he will completely have forgotten what he has said. It was all just meaningless crap.

I could have written this about the person who I suspect is a psychopath.

On top of your list, I'll add:
Always the victim if something goes wrong, or someone else's fault.

Expects you to drop everything to focus ok them. Once I was on my way to a funeral and told them it wasnt a good time to talk and that I had family around. They hung up after telling me to "Just forget about me."

Highly manipulative and uses emotional blackmail to get you to acquiesce to what they want from you.

Zero empathy for others.

If you call them out on how their behaviour hurt you, they will gaslight you first to deny it happened.
When you remind them and pin the exact moment, they will have conveniently forgotten about it or tell you it was ages ago and that you shouldn't still hold a grudge, when it only happened the last time you saw them.
Then they'll tell you actually yoi deserved it or you're only complaining because it was a guilty pleasure for you. He tried to rape me ad when I said no, he drove recklessly to frighten me.

I was so confused with the extremes of his behaviour and was going round in circles, having the same conversation every time, but having read up on aspd, I now realise far too late that I was being gaslit and being fed word salad. He made my life a living hell and I suffered from nightmares years later.

He still had the nerve to write to me years later to declare love and how he is sorry a.f sad to have lost a good friend and the only woman he loved.

Fuck off and die leave me alone.

I'm pretty convinced I know someone who was a psychopath. I'm also pretty sure he's in jail now, although I can't say for definite. Last time I saw him the police had caught up with him and two extra charges were added. I didn't realise I was in such a vulnerable situation until afterwards

I got 13 on the hare test and that feels a bit too high for my liking!