AIBU- partner cooking dinner for himself

[What2do22]

So we’ve recently had a baby and in preparation I batch cooked a few dinners. My partner likes plain spag bowl whilst I prefer lots of veggies so I did separate ones and got both out to defrost this morning all we’d have to do is boil some pasta. I’m breastfeeding and was nap trapped with the baby so he put the pasta on to boil- when it was done he heated his bolognaise and sat down at the table to eat it, I asked where mine was and he’d only done his. What would your reaction to this be? I said it was weird and selfish he’d only done his when it would be so easy to do mine at the same time (plus I cook 80% of the dinners- sometimes completely different meals). He made a big song and dance about heating mine up and how his was going cold, I could just put the baby in the cot and go do mine etc. I feel like it’s a petty thing to be upset about, but I just don’t get his attitude.

Wow. How selfish and inconsiderate of him.

How sad that he isn't willing to put himself ever so slightly out for the woman that just birthed his child! YANBU.

He should be ashamed.

Next time prepare lots of veggie dishes.. What a twat.

It’s got nothing to do with you holding baby. He’s just inconsiderate. If you’re making your dinner, you offer your partner at the same time, surely?

You batched cooked in preparation for baby, including making different meals to accommodate his preferences and the selfish shit can't even be bothered to heat yours up.

I think you are going to find the next few years interesting and very tiring.

So you made his dinner but he couldn't even heat yours up?

What a guy.

Spag bowl?

If he thought one of you needed to hold the baby, I’d forgive him for staggering the meals provided that he heated both and that he asked if you wanted to go first or second. He sounds like a selfish inconsiderate arse.

this is not going to last, is it.
ducks.
row.

So you batch-cooked meals (including a bespoke version for him because he doesn’t eat vegetables) in preparation for you having a baby, because apparently he can’t step up and do the cooking for a bit while you have a newborn, and then he complained about putting some fucking mince in the microwave for you? Jesus. What is wrong with him?

He is beyond selfish. Absolute arsehole. I’m stunned that you’re even asking this question.

No very caring is it.

My daughter's husband did this when she got home hospital with their new born twins. Cooked dinner for their other children and himself and nothing for her. He then sat down at the table with the other children and ate his dinner.

As far as I know she had to make herself something to eat when she could fit it in between feeding the babies.

I've never liked him and this was just one more thing in a long list of reasons.

My ex husband did this. 3 weeks post C section, velcro baby. Breast feedingnon stop and fi ally fell asleep, I darent move him and in fact couldn't get up out of the chair without help. He made tea and sandwiches for lunch for his dad and himself. Didn't even ask me.

That's your contribution? really

unkind & unnecessary.

So selfish. But sadly I think a lot of men would do this. I’m going to be accused of being sexist but I’m in my 40s and I genuinely think men are just more “me me me” than women are. Not that that makes it acceptable.

Oh look, it’s the obligatory poster who reads a thread about a new mum who is upset because partner is an arsehole, and then thinks the appropriate response is to pretend not to understand anything in the OP’s post because there’s a small error in it 🙄

YANBU OP! He's a lazy, selfish twat.
And then to not even have the decency to be embarrassed but actually moaned at you!

Jesus

When I had a small baby DH got home from work and cooked us both a meal (prem baby so no batch cooking had happened!). And then washed up.

He’s not perfect but would never dream of doing what your DP just did - in fact he wouldn’t do this even without a small baby in the picture.

Sorry your dp is a twat.

What a selfish thoughtless twit.
I’d not bother my arse batch cooking anything else for him again!

what error ?
i love a good spag bowl; don't you ?

He made a big song and dance about heating mine up and how his was going cold.

Reading your post again, this stood out.... He didn't even have the good grace to apologise for being thoughtless and sort your dinner out, he was annoyed at being asked to do one tiny thing for you.

Sorry your husband is a weapons grade arsehole. Good luck

A husband here. He sounds uncaring. I was marving the other day and cooked myself an omelette, only as soon as it was ready I thought, my wife mighty fancy this, offered it to her and she accepted, then I cooked one for myself. It's just how I am I suppose!

You batch cooked for both of you, remembered to defrost it this morning for both of you, and he can’t even heat it up? What a joke.

Everyone has stupid moments where they go on auto pilot or whatever but if I’d done what he did I’d be so ashamed and apologetic when it was pointed out, not have an attitude.

It was more his reaction after it, a bit gaslighty that I was in the wrong for being annoyed. Even saying he didn’t know that I was hungry…I’m sat right here, ask me??
other that tonight he’s been good with the baby, I’m breastfeeding so am obviously doing the heavy lifting there but I’ve felt everything else has been equal which is why I was surprised by the situation/reaction tonight.

YANBU it is wierd and selfish. He should have reheated the food you cooked for both of you. Good job pulling him up on it.

I didn’t realise saying spag bowl was so wrong!