AIBU- partner cooking dinner for himself

[What2do22]

So we’ve recently had a baby and in preparation I batch cooked a few dinners. My partner likes plain spag bowl whilst I prefer lots of veggies so I did separate ones and got both out to defrost this morning all we’d have to do is boil some pasta. I’m breastfeeding and was nap trapped with the baby so he put the pasta on to boil- when it was done he heated his bolognaise and sat down at the table to eat it, I asked where mine was and he’d only done his. What would your reaction to this be? I said it was weird and selfish he’d only done his when it would be so easy to do mine at the same time (plus I cook 80% of the dinners- sometimes completely different meals). He made a big song and dance about heating mine up and how his was going cold, I could just put the baby in the cot and go do mine etc. I feel like it’s a petty thing to be upset about, but I just don’t get his attitude.

You just had baby and you’re bf. He should be looking after you. Even though I’m on a totally different diet to my Dh, he will always check if he can get me anything. Serous conversation needed, or your life is going to be so much harder than it needs to be. Is he usually selfish? The gas lighting is appalling.

Not necessary. In fact it's an arsehole comment.

I'd have eaten his and made him heat up and have the veggie version after you went to all that trouble to make him a separate dish before baby was born because he's a bloody arse who can't do it himself.

You've done nothing wrong here. He's a noodle.

So he ate the food that you had to cook especially for him - because he’s a child who can’t eat veggies - whilst protesting l that you should just cook for yourself.

Nevermind that you probably cooked it whilst heavily pregnancy, also got the food out to defrost and you were looking after his child whilst he made himself dinner. That would give me the ick.

They’re this way because no one pulls them up on it.

I'd have left my husband for this, especially the attitude after.

Spag Bog: Spag is short for spaghetti and Bol is short for bolognaise, but everyone knows what you mean by spag bowl. And you have bigger worries than grammar errors so don’t worry about it!

Also if you eat it from a bowl it is Spag Bowl really, as in a bowl of spag! 😉

He’s a twat. I’d cook for him less and just sort yourself out. He can cook for himself.

She says ‘bolognaise’ in the same post so your comprehension must be dire, Rabbit.

@YellowHatt you call it spag bog?! That's even weirder than spag bowl.

Anyway, he's an arsehole OP. Next time leave his in the freezer

😂 typo. But occasionally I call it Spag Bag, for no reason other than it rhymes, which is close.

Lol- that makes perfect sense, I’ve always said bowl. Must be my stupid thing I’ve always gotten wrong 😂

My dh can be a bit of an arse at times (as can I), but even he in that situation would have always thought about me and heated mine first.

Thanks for all the replies and confirmation I’m not being over sensitive. I’m going to leave it for a bit and then insist he apologises for his attitude and upsetting me. Some men are such selfish twats sometimes.

Numero uno, eh?
Well done for pulling him up on it. The nerve of him arguing his case.

He’s an arse.

I remember being really ill about 10 years ago. Real, can barely get out of bed, crying with pain, ‘flu.
Dragged myself downstairs to get some water and saw my DH sitting there with a roll and sausage. I was really ill but wasn’t off my food; he knew this.
I told him that his mother would have been spinning in her grave at this. I didn’t mince my words.
By his own admission, he’s not very good when people are ill. Including our dc.
In contrast, I am like Florence Nightingale and am extremely kind and caring and go out of my way to ensure that the sick person has everything they could possibly want/need.
And if that involves a 20 mile round trip to get them something in particular, then so be it.
(not looking for a medal. It’s just how I am. Couldn’t believe that my DH could make himself something to eat and not offer me anything.)

My sister was visiting a friend and her new baby.
The husband walks into the sitting room with a sandwich he'd made for himself. Nothing for his wife. Not even a cup of tea.
Wanker.

The only way this would be acceptable is if he was going to warm yours up when he had finished his and take the baby so you could eat in peace

So now you have two babies in the house ? A new baby and a man baby.
He sounds vile. Be careful a lot of men change when a new baby comes on the scene and they get jealous.

It’s sounds like a miscommunication to me. Did you ask him to cook yours at the same time? Personally I wouldn’t like it if someone made pasta for me if it was going to sit there going solid for 30 mins (yuk).

Also let’s not forget how utterly exhausting having a baby is for both parents - we’re not at our best. And this is a brutal time for relationships.

My advice would be to have a chat about meals and ask that your partner takes responsibility for the evening meals for while, and tell him that if you’re busy breastfeeding feeding, to plate yours up ready for the microwave or whatever it is you would prefer. Ask for what you need.

It sounds like you’re doing brilliantly to me. And no, it’s not ideal that you have to be the one to sort this out when you’re dealing with everything else but ultimately having someone who’s supporting you and pulling in the same direction will be better do you. Take care x

He is a total cock.

CherryMaDeara I know OP meant bolognese. But so many people call it “ Spag Bowl” & I just find it annoying!

This is so horrible. Very inconsiderate of him and he needs to own up to being a dick and stop thinking just about himself!
God this behaviour would make my blood boil!

How pathetic.

And everyone else on this thread finds you annoying. Your comment was asinine, unnecessary and deeply unhelpful.