AIBU- partner cooking dinner for himself

[What2do22]

So we’ve recently had a baby and in preparation I batch cooked a few dinners. My partner likes plain spag bowl whilst I prefer lots of veggies so I did separate ones and got both out to defrost this morning all we’d have to do is boil some pasta. I’m breastfeeding and was nap trapped with the baby so he put the pasta on to boil- when it was done he heated his bolognaise and sat down at the table to eat it, I asked where mine was and he’d only done his. What would your reaction to this be? I said it was weird and selfish he’d only done his when it would be so easy to do mine at the same time (plus I cook 80% of the dinners- sometimes completely different meals). He made a big song and dance about heating mine up and how his was going cold, I could just put the baby in the cot and go do mine etc. I feel like it’s a petty thing to be upset about, but I just don’t get his attitude.

I’m so fed up with reading threads about inadequate, horrible selfish men.

Fucking hell. It’s awful.

What sort of a prick makes himself dinner like that and leaves his newly delivered wife with nothing to eat, or having to struggle to make it because she’s breastfeeding a newborn?

Who are these awful men? How do they become this way??

He’s a selfish thoughtless arse. Simple.

The problem is that you have married and procreated with a selfish waste-of-space arsehole.

Things are not going to get any better. Your choice is to either accept your role as sub-human service creature who exists for his benefit, or to get rid.

I wonder if he just didn’t think. He should apologise, it’s good that you pulled him up on it. Hopefully he doesn’t do it again.

@RabbitsRock Would you comment like that in real life?? Friend having a hard time and you reply "you've mispronounced that"

If you would that is far more annoying that spag bowl. If you wouldn't, then show fellow human on mumsnet same courtesy. You have been very rude.

This is exactly how I feel. I don't know what could be done with men like this. Utterly utterly selfish.

Don't be a dick.

When was he thinking you would be able to eat?

Very uncaring, inconsiderate and selfish not to say to you that he was going to make his now and would you like yours or shall he eat his first and make you yours later?

Just making his and show walking it down his throat is very poor.

I'm glad you told him how selfish he was. There are too many selfish dicks around.

I would ask him if that's the new plan, we only make dinner for ourselves and leave the other one to it? Mistakes happen but the correct response would be to be mortified for being selfish and jump up immediately to make your dinner.

@RabbitsRock can I introduce you to the concept of the "typo"?

OP - please keep pulling him up on things like that. It's what my DH used to do to our children. He would make toast etc then walk away to eat it. The child would be standing next to him while he made it, followed him and sat next to him watching his food. She was three when I first saw it happen.

It's an abusive trait (and I was already boiled). Watch him like a hawk.

Please can ppl stop bullying @RabbitsRock
Thanks

He's a twat. From now on you should cook stuff that you like and if he doesn't like it then he can make himself something else

You allowed this behaviour by cooking two different dinners. If he doesn't like lots of veg and you're the one cooking that's his problem. You aren't his mother.

CallMeBettyBoop thank you 😊

Obviously the (trapped) nursing mother getting calories into her is more important than heating himself up something to eat. What a dick!

You say he's usually better than this, so I'd give him the benefit of the doubt this time, but YANBU. He could have asked, and when you brought it up, he could have just heated yours up without making a fuss over it.

If the selfish or thoughtless behaviour continues, that's when it's time to have a more serious discussion about supporting one another and being considerate, but no harm done in pointing it out this time!

As someone who's just had a baby 10 days ago and have a 16 month old, and as a human being I'd be absolutely livid and LTB😂 x

Yes. You know what OP means.

OP - I would seriously consider your future. I know it's "just dinner" but be mindful incase this attitude seeps into the rest of your relationship

Maybe say that then rather than "Spag Bowl?"

As you're breastfeeding your baby it's particularly important that you get regular meals & drinks for fuel - the least he can do is try and provide those for you!

Or better yet, don’t bother.

Bullying? It's pulling someone up on an unnecessary comment.

Yeah. That's so nasty