To think the girlfriend in this case must be a mumsnetter?

[KimberleyClark]

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/aug/04/you-be-the-judge-should-my-boyfriend-save-his-post-gym-shower-for-when-he-gets-home-

@BellsMoon

What you do in your home is your business.

Until you are unilaterally trying to impose it on a partner and then it’s their business too.

I mean there are certain situations where the health motive is so clear cut it’s justifiable (smoking inside, for example). The science is very clear on this.

But someone feeling neurotic about “outdoor clothing” because they have worked themselves into a flap worrying about lice etc is irrational, there’s no scientific justification to back this up and the onus is on the person with the neurosis to deal with it.

I am terrified of spiders and sometimes behave irrationally in my home checking for them etc but I would never expect my partner to do the same. It’s my problem not his.

I think a lot of us have looked a bit differently at hygiene / germs since the beginning of Covid .

I always wash my hands when I return to the house - unless I've literally just been a walk and not touched anything . Mostly I change my clothing for PJs or joggers but that's more of a comfort thing than anything . If I was entering the house with visitors and sitting downstairs then I wouldn't change clothes and would probably keep my shoes on too .

I do have a dog though - one who rolls in the grass and sticks his nose in anything smelly - and he is allowed on the furniture including beds and on our laps .

I imagine most people actually have house clothes and outside clothes - even if they don't think of them that way . My house clothes are the old joggers and bobbly sweatshirts I wouldn't wear in public but are comfortable and save me needing so many sets of decent clothes .

I have “clothes I don’t mind if the cat clicks” and “clothes I’d be annoyed if the cat clicked” and that’s the extent of my demarcation. If I’ve been wearing the latter, either while WFH (the cat isn’t allowed in that room) or outside, I’ll try to change into the former before I sit down with the cat but that’s as far as it goes. I can’t afford to be too stressed about germs as I have a disability which means getting changed or showering is not always a quick or easy act - some days it can be more exhausting than the energy I have to spare.

She would think I’m filthy. When we are looking after DB’s lab I take him for his early morning walk in my joggers and hoodie (me wearing them, not him) then come back and have tea and toast lying on my bed in my dog walking clothes! Oh god I’m horrific.

I once knew someone who wouldn’t have books in her bedroom for hygiene reasons. I have bloody stacks of them in mine.

I once worked with someone who would make her husband shower if he went for a poo during the night. They ended up compromising so he only had to shower his bottom rather than his whole self, which speeded things up as his hairy chest took too long to dry. 🤣

@Wheatear

For my family (here and in the Caribbean) we don’t really get the ‘doing nothing is lazy’ vibe.

We work hard, do what we have to do, but on a day where you have nothing planned there is no moral superiority in getting up and dressed, which is at odds with most of my British friends’ families.

This isn’t a value judgement - just an observation: all of my British friends’ parents were up and dressed by 8 even on weekends with no plans. It’s completely alien to me as a tradition when you are doing sod all.

We have clothes that are clean but old and comfortable that are only worn in the house and you would only wear them if not expecting to go out. I retire clothes I like wearing out to ‘house clothes’ as they get ratty.

In the island where my family are from, manual jobs were usual (my family worked on an oil rig) and it was quite undeveloped so when you’d change when you got home because you’d get dusty and dirty on the way back from work or school.

The heat made you sweaty so you’d shower and put on clean clothes but money was a factor so they’d not be ‘best’ clothes.

You also wouldn’t have a lot of school uniform but it would need to be washed nearly every day so getting changed as soon as you get home would mean time to wash and dry it.

It’s not the complicated dance described here on some posts.

Get up, get dressed appropriately for the day’s activities. When you get home dirty and sweaty shower and change.

😂

It really did make me laugh and I voted the coffee drinker was unreasonable as a coffee drinker. Then again I prefer coffee strong and I know some tea drinkers like it very very weak.

I know! Firstly she was unreasonable to drink instant coffee, it's revolting. And to risk transferring some coffee granules into a mug of tea - yuck!

I had a friend who scoffed at me and thought I was very odd for wearing ‘house clothes’. I asked her what she wore if she was at home for the day. She said ‘I get dressed properly like a normal person’

People can wear what they like. Nothing abnormal about changing into/staying in comfortable clothes when you’re at home. I have endometriosis so am often in pain and bloated. Anything other than soft, loose clothing at home feels like torture for me. I really don’t think house clothes are the mystery some people make it out to be.

Yes to all of this. I'm not from the Caribbean but this resonates loudly with me. I believe that most of the world (ie not Europe and North America) would recognise this as the norm.

Yes poss, definitely not my norm, I've just got in and am sitting on the sofa in my outside clothes, no shower

Neverdropyourmooncup, Maybe it's more hygienic for everyone to tie their hair up on public transport, so no shedding, and no catching lice - which is obviously one of the biggest hazards of tube travel

I imagine most people actually have house clothes and outside clothes - even if they don't think of them that way . My house clothes are the old joggers and bobbly sweatshirts I wouldn't wear in public but are comfortable and save me needing so many sets of decent clothes.

I used to get changed out of my school uniform and my work clothes (mainly because all my chairs have cat fur on them!), but now that I am not working I put on comfortable clothes in the morning and they stay on until bedtime. I'm in and out all day, I go shopping, I go out for coffee, to a movie, - all in the same clothes. The only time I would change is if I was going to a show, or to a meal in a restaurant in the evening, and both of those are extremely rare these days. Having said that, my comfortable clothes are always clean and tidy, and I don't have any bobbly sweatshirts.

The results -
97% are on his side and think she’s the mad one. Pretty conclusive.