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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to want my baby born in September (not August)?

155 replies

chickpea1982 · 05/08/2023 11:04

I'd be really interested to hear other Mumsnetters' experiences on this question.

I'm currently pregnant with DC3, who is due on 31 August. My plan was to try to hold on until 1 September (unless the baby decides otherwise!) so DC3 is born in September and so is the oldest/one of the oldest in her year. It feels to me like it could make such a big difference to her life - either the oldest in her year, or the absolute youngest. Or am I overthinking things?

The doctors want to induce at 39 weeks as I have gestational diabetes, but I'm not completely convinced it's necessary, or that waiting a few extra days will make much difference.

Looking forward to receiving your wisdom!

OP posts:
hereistopositiveenergy · 05/08/2023 15:23

I'm due second week of September and under consultant led delivery due to my health. They initially offered the section at 37 weeks but I pushed for a date that puts me 38+3 (and also makes baby a Sept baby for the same reasons as you concerning the whole school thing. Like they start and end school at 4!) I did however say if there was absolutely any risk to baby or me I'd book for august but they confirmed there isn't as I'm closely monitored. Now if baby decides to make their own appearance, then that's ok with me but as I've got to have a section under GA so felt like I've very little control in my delivery experience therefore wanted to have my September date at least - something I can control and have a say in to an extent.

I am currently doing very little in August to prevent this baby being encouraged to come naturally although it's now become a running joke in the family. 😂

CoachBeardsJane · 05/08/2023 15:26

You posted about this the other day op, you were told by your dr that you are high risk for shoulder dystocia..

PictureConsequences · 05/08/2023 15:32

My DD is an August baby and started school when she was 4, all fine but she seemed to catch up and overtake in year 3. Anyway, for sixth form, she wanted to go to a specialist music college and so did... Only for a year in to decide she wanted to do A Levels and follow a more traditional and academic route. So she repeated year 12 and is now much happier. Of course anybody could do that but she feels like she hasn't wasted time, if that makes sense.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 05/08/2023 15:36

You do realise you are more at risk of a large baby and therefore of shoulder dystocia where babies get stuck during birth? Follow the medical advice.

Potaytocrisps · 05/08/2023 15:36

Jumprope309 · 05/08/2023 14:51

YANBU.
Cue lots of anecdotal evidence about individual August born children because people don’t understand averages.
Children youngest in the school year are disadvantaged. In the UK this means those with June - August birthdays. The affect narrows as they get older, but is still there at GCSE. See here for more.
https://www.cambridgeassessment.org.uk/Images/109784-birthdate-effects-a-review-of-the-literature-from-1990-on.pdf

In most of the UK, I know England is the largest home nation but in NI the cut off date is 30 June and in Scotland I think February, not sure about Wales.

So in NI the children born in July are usually the eldest in their school year.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 05/08/2023 15:37

CoachBeardsJane · 05/08/2023 15:26

You posted about this the other day op, you were told by your dr that you are high risk for shoulder dystocia..

If she knew what that is like she would realise how silly she is being. Get a grip OP.

AmazingSnakeHead · 05/08/2023 15:39

Do what's safe for your baby and then defer school entry by a year.

Jellycats4life · 05/08/2023 15:43

I had a Sept baby and was glad I didn’t give birth early.

But you might have very good medical reasons to give birth in August. You can always defer entry to school. So, in that sense, whether you have an August or September baby, you don’t have to worry.

barbieseyebrows · 05/08/2023 15:48

I'm in NI and I intentionally conceived so my children would be born in the "correct months"

I would have stopped trying in the months that would have made for a "young" baby

I was completely neurotic about it

For NI this means the baby had to come after the 2nd July

For one of my children I got pregnant immediately after coil removal and had a panic on 😂.. thankfully, she held on and came in the middle of July

I sound insane. I think you can defer children now, that wasn't an option available to us at the time

getmeoutofherenoww · 05/08/2023 16:22

@Dotcheck just every person I've ever known to cause trouble or be nasty in my life have been a ScorpioGrin.

Very disciplined and driven though!

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 05/08/2023 16:27

Just have the baby when it’s best to have the baby. Lots of august born kids are fine going to school at just 4 and if they’re not ready you can always defer.

KAM1997 · 05/08/2023 16:29

I think it depends on the child. Persoanllly I wouldn't go against doctors advice. My daughters was born on 31st August and is 100% ready for reception after going to the school nursery.

Linning · 05/08/2023 16:49

As an august born person, it boggles my mind that people obsess over this (on Mumsnet at least) it just so bizarre to me.

Admittedly I am biased due to being born in August but I have siblings born in all kind of months (February, May, June and November) and I was the one who did best academically and currently the highest earner. Similarly (and ironically) in my cousins the most successful one is also August born. So it’s quite sad to think that some people somehow wish their kid weren’t born when they are meant to be born.

I think pushing so much expectations onto an unborn child (to the point for even a second considering to go against medical advice and what’s safest for baby & you to make a September birthday potentially happen) is a lot more likely to prejudice them long-term than being born in august.

I love being born in August, and I have no clue if it’s what’s made me successful or not but it definitely didn’t hold me back in any way and I

would absolutely not recommend going against medical advice in general, but especially for (wishful) academic purposes when in today’s world a degree and good academics don’t really hold the weight and future it once used to.

lanthanum · 05/08/2023 16:58

Mine was due late September, and turned up mid-August. I would been ready to fight for her to stay down a year (it was before that became more of an option) had it been necessary, but as it turned out, she was totally ready to start school three weeks after turning four. I'm quite relieved she was prem, because I don't think the pre-school would have been enough for another year.

Being the youngest in the year has not been a problem at any point, and although technically she could have done slightly better in her GCSEs, I'm not sure she would have done.

It may all work out for the best, and you actually now get more choice with an August than a September baby.

Ridethewavesheadabovewater · 05/08/2023 17:12

My son was born 30th Aug and myself 22nd Aug. Neither of us have had issues in school and my son is in top set for Maths and Science.

namechange003 · 06/08/2023 15:55

My ds was born 31st august and we deferred his school start by a year and all has worked out well

WellINever1 · 06/08/2023 15:59

I haven't read everything but I'm a teacher and had an early September due date which is ideal for teachers' maternity leave. I would have been gutted with August because you get a bit screwed over with pay as a teacher then. I'm so glad he is the oldest in the school year and had more time playing and being free! In my local authority, it is easy to defer though so actually, August would be great if I wasn't a teacher because you get your 30 hours earlier and then can defer school entry so you get the best both ways. Local authority dependent. Not sure if they are all like mine?!

More likely to have a warm birthday too 😉

richteaftw · 06/08/2023 16:04

There is 3 weeks between my daughter and my best friend's daughter.

Friend's little girl starts school this September, whereas mine will go 2024. I'm glad I have the extra year with her.

It seems mad that such a couple of weeks or even days makes such a difference'

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 06/08/2023 16:12

Our son was due in early November. He arrived very prem in mid-August 😁So despite already havng issues and attending SEN school, he's also doing his entire schooling with one year 'delay' written into his EHCP to compensate.

HalloumiLuvver · 06/08/2023 16:18

Gooseysgirl · 05/08/2023 11:19

I sympathise but you must follow the doctors advice! There are always very mixed views on here re. summerborns and starting school. My own view is that the cut off should be end of April not end of August, meaning kids wound be at least 4.5 starting school.

I'm in Scotland and our school intake is March to February so everyone is at least 4.5 when they start primary school. And you can defer Jan/Feb birthdays too so they are 5.5 when they start if needed.

I've always felt this is much more suitable for kids than starting full time just turned 4.

HalloumiLuvver · 06/08/2023 16:20

Babdoc · 05/08/2023 11:20

My DD was born in August. She got 5 straight As in her Highers (Scotland), ditto her 5 Advanced Highers, (one sat a year early) and a maths degree from Durham university.
She was correcting her teacher’s spelling in reception year, where she had a reading age of 12 on arrival.
There is no disadvantage to being an August baby.

If she was an August baby in the standard Scottish system she would be halfway through the year of ages, not the youngest born. So rather irrelevant to the OP.

cptartapp · 06/08/2023 16:26

I agree with you OP. In both my DC years those that seemed to struggle least and did best academically were among the oldest. There will always be outliers of course.
The youngest were also the last to learn to drive, to turn 18 and drink legally.
I tried to conceive tactically and luckily it worked out.

Rainn21 · 06/08/2023 16:29

Speaking as someone who has just had a very sad loss of a baby in the family, don’t be so pathetic. Prioritise the health of your unborn child.

HalloumiLuvver · 06/08/2023 16:31

Clefable · 05/08/2023 12:06

And actually although everyone on MN has the ubiquitous bright child who is ready for GCSEs at the age of 7 and a social butterfly, a lot of kids do struggle with starting school so early, either academically or more usually socially, some of which isn't apparent till later in their school career when it comes to sitting exams, etc. Anecdotes about individual kids who achieved this and that aren't really useful. We need to look at a population level generally and also consider individual children.

DD could start school in August at 4.5 and would probably be 'fine', but deferring her a year will give her a whole year of social maturity and growth in a quality early years setting and set her up as best as possible at no real cost to me (thanks to the 30 hours of funding we get here). Speaking to friends and family who are teachers, I've yet to find one with anything negative to say about deferral, but they all have lots to say about sending kids too soon.

Yep agree. Nearly everyone I know with kids Jan/Feb deferred in Scotland so they started that little bit older.

Tumbleweed101 · 06/08/2023 16:49

I've got a mid August baby. The only thing I've really found is that she was a little immature to fully focus on her GSCE revision - she did much better at college for getting focused. And she hated being last in her year and friend group to learn to drive. She otherwise enjoyed and did well at school.