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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to want my baby born in September (not August)?

155 replies

chickpea1982 · 05/08/2023 11:04

I'd be really interested to hear other Mumsnetters' experiences on this question.

I'm currently pregnant with DC3, who is due on 31 August. My plan was to try to hold on until 1 September (unless the baby decides otherwise!) so DC3 is born in September and so is the oldest/one of the oldest in her year. It feels to me like it could make such a big difference to her life - either the oldest in her year, or the absolute youngest. Or am I overthinking things?

The doctors want to induce at 39 weeks as I have gestational diabetes, but I'm not completely convinced it's necessary, or that waiting a few extra days will make much difference.

Looking forward to receiving your wisdom!

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutTheNosys · 05/08/2023 12:24

I don't think YABU to question it at all. My DS was born 14 days late on September 2nd and I'm glad not to have the worry of him going to on school young.

But like lots of people have said you have the option to defer if you think you need to. Lots of people say September babies are so ready to have gone a year earlier too!

Definitely go from what the Dr recommends closer to the time, it's not worth the risk of anything going wrong.

I was induced on August 31st, I didn't realise induction can take so long and thought I had a chance of him being born like 1 minute before September! But went for it then because I was very overdue

IhaveanewTVnow · 05/08/2023 12:24

No mother on MN is going to admit that their summer baby struggled at school. As you can see from the examples here there are Oxbridge children, 9 A star kids etc.

my son was born July early - should have been late August if on time. I hated sending him to school at 4 years and 2 months. At the time we were not offered the chance to defer. He was the smallest in the year and is still called Midge by friends in his early 20s and 5’11. I think he suffered - he did well - but would have found it a lot easier if he had been born early September. His younger sibling is an October child and there was a huge difference in their achievements at the same age and I put this down to the simple fact that my second child was nearly a year older than his brother. When you are four, 25% of your life is huge. Both have done well now but I disagree that there is no difference - you can’t ignore a year of experience.

however you need to listen to medical advice. Nothing is more important than a healthy baby and mum.

TeenLifeMum · 05/08/2023 12:25

I should add, the impact on their confidence has been the biggest thing but identifying that and talking about it really helped. Dtd1 would often say she’s stupid and rubbish at maths etc but she is in to set. I believe it stems back to infants school when other dc could visibly do stuff she couldn’t and her brain struggled to realise she’s actually caught up. Explaining this to her really helped.

Wednesdaysotherchild · 05/08/2023 12:26

You should be incredibly grateful for a healthy baby no matter when it arrives. Count your blessings!

Ellie1015 · 05/08/2023 12:28

I would rather have a Sept birthday for school however gestational diabetes can be serious so would prioritise making that as safe as possible.

CKL987 · 05/08/2023 12:29

How many adults do you meet and think that they must have been the youngest in their class? Probably none, so does it really matter?
Also, consider that if you have a September baby you'll have to pay for an extra year of nursery (if they go). My sibling has a September baby and moans about this.

ToeToeToe23 · 05/08/2023 12:29

My august born is going into year 1 in September. He is flying at school, is ahead in his reading and numbers and is really confident in himself. There are some September borns who still struggle with transition and cry every morning when getting dropped off. I'd just do what's best for you and your baby

Vettrianofan · 05/08/2023 12:30

I have an August born child. He was born prematurely so I didn't get a choice in my situation. He was supposed to be born in October.

Hufflepods · 05/08/2023 12:31

My plan was to try to hold on until 1 September (unless the baby decides otherwise!)

…by crossing your legs?

Curiosity101 · 05/08/2023 12:34

I would definitely follow medical advice and then just plan to defer. My two DSs were due in mid Oct and Mid September. Both arrived in August.

We've deferred eldest DS so he will start in reception next year in the cohort he should have been born into.

SmallbutMighty1 · 05/08/2023 12:42

You're mad 😅 I'm due DC3 on 27th Aug and thrilled that they are inducing on 20th due to GDM.

I teach. It doesn't make a difference.

blahblahlandgoogoodoll · 05/08/2023 12:42

My baby was due 1st September but ended up having a section earlier due to complications. He was born 25th august.

I'd rather have a safe delivery & healthy baby. School is not the be all and end all.

If you really think they're not ready then defer but you need to live in the now and not the maybe.

Right now doctors are telling you that you should deliver early. Prioritise the baby.

FiveShelties · 05/08/2023 12:44

27th August here, made no difference at all. Always top in exams, good degree, excellent career. My best friend was 1st September so almost a year older than me and we had virtually identical exam results.

Don't worry about it OP.

reelcat · 05/08/2023 12:46

YABU to put your baby's life at risk just to determine when they will start school

FloofCloud · 05/08/2023 12:49

Sorry not RTFT but don't dismiss the GDM as it can lead to placental issues and often are delivered early because of that - I'd rather a youngest in the year than risk

Cleaningladiesforever · 05/08/2023 12:51

My son’s friend is 17 at the end of August. He started school a “year late.” It’s never been an issue. Interestingly, a girl born on 31 August who was also in primary with my son moved to a more academic focused school at 8 because she wasn’t being challenged. At 16 at the end of this month, she is still academically strong, though GCSEs results are pending 😜. I would focus initially on a safe birth and worry later about school admissions. Wishing you well.

RuthW · 05/08/2023 12:54

I'd go for an Aug baby all the time (like me) nothing worse than waiting for a year when the child is ready for school.

inloveonholiday · 05/08/2023 12:55

I ran into difficulties with one of my babies who was due in September. They arrived by C section mid august.

In those days you could not defer start of school. Or if you did your child just missed reception and went straight into their original year joining in year 1.

I fought to get them officially moved to the year below as this was the year they should have been born into.

I'm glad I did as they had subsequent issues and really needed that extra support.

Nowadays, I understand you can opt to do what I fought for. So it looks as though you can relax, be guided by your obstetrician and start your child in school when it suits their development.

LetMeEnfoldYou · 05/08/2023 12:57

Mine was due on 31st August but actually born on 2nd September.

Cost me three terms of playgroup fees - if he had been an august baby he'd have had the full year for free.

UnbeatenMum · 05/08/2023 13:03

If there's no risk to the baby I'd choose September. I have two August borns, I have been able to start the youngest at school a year late but not everyone in the UK is given permission, it's very dependent on where you live.

LAlady · 05/08/2023 13:07

Also 27th August and never thought of it as an issue. Did well etc. Only on here has it been an issue !

ClairDeLaLune · 05/08/2023 13:08

An August baby would save you a year of childcare hassle and costs!

Timeturnerplease · 05/08/2023 13:21

Anecdotally, I have noticed that the summer born gap tends to close by KS2. I had Year 3 again this year and yes there were two August borns still struggling, but this was due to other factors. The two other August borns are flying - one is my strongest reader in the class. You might be worrying over nothing. It certainly doesn’t seem to affect adults.

I do understand your concerns though. DD2 is August born and we won’t be able to defer for childcare reasons, and we worry about her keeping up. If you have the option to defer, I’d keep that in mind if DC isn’t looking ready.

Willmafrockfit · 05/08/2023 13:30

yes, some september born are more than ready for school, tallest, frustrated at nursery.

user1469908686 · 05/08/2023 13:32

I and one of our kids are august birthdays.
Only time it was ever an issue was sports teams when physical size made a difference, so till about 8/9 years.
And at 17 when friends started driving and it was a whole year till a test could be booked!
Academically it was a non issue.

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