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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sick baby - Should DP stay at home?

64 replies

Allthesweets · 04/08/2023 21:30

Hi all,

My 12 month old is poorly with an ear infection, has a fever and is now on antibiotics.

My mum/dad were supposed to be having DS tomorrow eve while we went to DP’s best friends 40th. I have now said I’m not going, as I don’t want to leave DS when he’s sick, plus unfair on my mum/dad.

DP is still wanting to go to the party and let me stay with my mum/dad, so they can help me with DS, who understandably needs a lot of comforting/taking care of. This has happened before when DS has been poorly and DP went out.

I’m a bit miffed that he’s happy to leave us but also understand that it’s his friends 40th. Happy to acknowledge if I’m being unreasonable to be miffed, just wondered what everyone else think?

Thanks

OP posts:
Nsky62 · 04/08/2023 21:32

No reason why he can’t go, nothing he can do

Rossannah · 04/08/2023 21:33

Yabu.. it doesn't take 4 people to look after one baby.

NancyJoan · 04/08/2023 21:34

One baby, with an ear infection. Really not a problem for him to go.

Seasideanticscanleadtosandybuckets · 04/08/2023 21:34

It doesn't take 4 adults or even 3 to mind 1 baby...

SemperIdem · 04/08/2023 21:34

There’s not reason for him to stay home, is there?

An ear infection is horrible and I hope your baby gets better soon, but it’s not a level of illness that requires both parents to be present.

10HailMarys · 04/08/2023 21:35

It’s his best friend’s 40th. It doesn’t need two of you to look after a grumpy baby for one evening. I don’t think it needs any involvement from your mum and dad either tbh.

Dunnoburt · 04/08/2023 21:35

Yabu

unlikelychump · 04/08/2023 21:35

3 people???

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 04/08/2023 21:36

Why are you ‘miffed’ that he wants to go to his best friend’s 40th birthday when there are already three adults looking after this one child who has what appears to be a very minor illness.

I mean, what would the point be to his staying at home??

BellaJuno · 04/08/2023 21:37

You seriously think your DP should miss his best friends milestone birthday celebration to be the FOURTH adult looking after a child with a pretty common childhood illness?

Guiltridden12345 · 04/08/2023 21:38

sorry op but you’re being a bit melodramatic. Ear infections are painful for baby but a minor ailment in the grand scheme of life. My daughter suffered badly and still does and we dose her up and crack on. One loving parent (or grandparent, if close enough/relationship allows) is plenty. Presumably he’ll be asleep anyway for most of the time if you’re going out at 7-8pm?

TeamSleep · 04/08/2023 21:38

Of course he should go to his best friend’s party and surely add you’re no longer going you can stand down your mum and dad?

YourNameGoesHere · 04/08/2023 21:38

Crikey I get you not wanting to go and leave him with your parents now he's poorly but he's got an ear infection, as rubbish as it is it doesn't require both his parents staying at home and it certainly doesn't require your parents to also be there!

He shouldn't be made to feel guilty about honouring his prior engagement.

Seasideanticscanleadtosandybuckets · 04/08/2023 21:39

Your dc will likely have more than a few bouts of childhood illness. Never takes a team of 'nurses 'ime.

sleepyscientist · 04/08/2023 21:39

I would leave little one with grandparents and both go to the party with you driving incase you need to come home. Little one will be asleep for most of it

BrutusMcDogface · 04/08/2023 21:39

Oh dear. I see it’s unanimous but yes, you are being unreasonable to be miffed about your dp going out with his best friend for a 40th birthday celebration.

I would cancel your parents, too. You can look after your baby for a night and they can avoid picking up any illnesses.

greenteaandmarshmallows · 04/08/2023 21:39

Is this a reverse?

cdsxxa · 04/08/2023 21:40

Yeah YABU

Arrgghhdecisions · 04/08/2023 21:40

Assuming there's a drip feed coming about how he never lifts a finger and will come home blind drunk at 4am and wake everyone up....

If not, YABU. Poorly babies are tough. But not 4 adults tough, jeez. Give your parents the night off too, calpol and nurofen, bed. You'll survive

NobodyWantsToHearThat · 04/08/2023 21:41

10HailMarys · 04/08/2023 21:35

It’s his best friend’s 40th. It doesn’t need two of you to look after a grumpy baby for one evening. I don’t think it needs any involvement from your mum and dad either tbh.

this

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/08/2023 21:41

Come on OP. You don’t need him at home. You don’t need your parents to help you. If they’re willing to just be grateful for that.

God help you when your baby gets a bad case of d&v…

MoonLion · 04/08/2023 21:41

YABU - and if it was your friend's birthday I'd be saying that you should go!

Original poster
Allthesweets · 04/08/2023 21:42

Haha yes I can see the unreasonableness.

If DP stayed then I wouldn’t stay with mum/dad so not 4 of us.

I guess my miffedness was about him being happy to be away - party Is 3 hours away - when DS was poorly. But I did have a very traumatic birth, PTSD and PPD, so I’m very aware that that may be playing into this. And I don’t want to begrudge my DP with time with his best friend.

OP posts:
SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 04/08/2023 21:42

If you flip the situation, people would be calling him controlling if he wanted you to stay home and miss your best mates big birthday celebration to help look after 1 baby with an ear infection

sparklefresh · 04/08/2023 21:43

It's sad that you had a traumatic birth but I can't see why that should stop him going to a party a year later.