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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sick baby - Should DP stay at home?

64 replies

Allthesweets · 04/08/2023 21:30

Hi all,

My 12 month old is poorly with an ear infection, has a fever and is now on antibiotics.

My mum/dad were supposed to be having DS tomorrow eve while we went to DP’s best friends 40th. I have now said I’m not going, as I don’t want to leave DS when he’s sick, plus unfair on my mum/dad.

DP is still wanting to go to the party and let me stay with my mum/dad, so they can help me with DS, who understandably needs a lot of comforting/taking care of. This has happened before when DS has been poorly and DP went out.

I’m a bit miffed that he’s happy to leave us but also understand that it’s his friends 40th. Happy to acknowledge if I’m being unreasonable to be miffed, just wondered what everyone else think?

Thanks

OP posts:

Whattodo112222 · 04/08/2023 22:40

Realistically... if he stays, what can he do? Doesn't take 4 adults to look after one baby.

cinzanoandcoke · 04/08/2023 22:41

If your baby has antibiotics and on the mend, just go with DH and let your parents take baby? If they are happy to?

Ghosttofu99 · 04/08/2023 22:44

Maybe YABU but if this is the second time you have been left alone to deal with the sick baby while he goes for a night out then next time it really ought to be his turn (fair enough it’s his friend on this occasion. Just because ‘it doesn’t take four people’ like so many have said doesn’t mean the responsibility then instantly falls to the mother alone/

fullbloom87 · 04/08/2023 22:47

There's no reason why you can't look after one baby on your own. How old are you?

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/08/2023 22:49

No need for 4 adults to look after one baby who is poorly

So yes def let dh go to his bf 40th

Is it 3hrs there and back so 1.5

Or 3hrs each way

So dh is prob going to stay the night away

Tbh doesn't really need 3 adults - you and your parents tho I get it's tiring

autienotnaughti · 04/08/2023 23:02

Me and dh have a rule. If there's an issue with attending an event the person closest goes. Which is your dp.

drpet49 · 04/08/2023 23:25

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 04/08/2023 21:36

Why are you ‘miffed’ that he wants to go to his best friend’s 40th birthday when there are already three adults looking after this one child who has what appears to be a very minor illness.

I mean, what would the point be to his staying at home??

This. What a complete overreaction

MeinKraft · 04/08/2023 23:30

It's good for parents to take charge of things on their own sometimes, helps your confidence that yes you can do it all on your own and that goes for him too, make sure you get a night out of your own soon.

saraclara · 04/08/2023 23:32

By this time tomorrow the baby will be loads better. My eldest was forever getting ear infections when she was small. 24 hours of antibiotic and she was a different baby/toddler.

Out of interest, what do you think single parents do when their babies are ill? Or mums whose DH's work away sometimes, or are in the forces?

MaxwellCat · 04/08/2023 23:34

This is strange to me I have 4 kids and a lone parent and no one has ever stayed to help me out when they were ill I wouldn't go to my parents to help me if any of them was unwell and I certainly wouldn't stop any partner i was with from going to a special occasion!

Merryoldgoat · 04/08/2023 23:35

I think it depends on the wider context.

A mild illness when you have an only child, I’d have no problem.

A child with a nasty illness that needs monitoring and constant attention overnight (vomiting but eg) then no, I’d want him to stay.

DH used to stay home when our littlest used to get a bad cold because he would croup out of nowhere. People thought we were being dramatic but 5 hospital visits in 18 months would’ve been tricky if one of us had been out drinking.

Winnipeggy · 05/08/2023 22:38

saraclara · 04/08/2023 23:32

By this time tomorrow the baby will be loads better. My eldest was forever getting ear infections when she was small. 24 hours of antibiotic and she was a different baby/toddler.

Out of interest, what do you think single parents do when their babies are ill? Or mums whose DH's work away sometimes, or are in the forces?

On a different note - my baby had an ear infection a few weeks ago and doc said they don't give antibiotics anymore? Does this sound right?

Ohthatsabitshit · 05/08/2023 23:13

Either you stay home and look after the baby and send your parents home or you go and leave the baby being cared for by loving grandparents. Anything else is silly.

BusyMum47 · 06/08/2023 09:54

10HailMarys · 04/08/2023 21:35

It’s his best friend’s 40th. It doesn’t need two of you to look after a grumpy baby for one evening. I don’t think it needs any involvement from your mum and dad either tbh.

I agree. Unless there's more to it?

I remember many times when we had to cancel plans due to a poorly kid & we'd try to share who got to go if it was possible/essential etc. No biggie.

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