To NOT want to go holiday

[VinoVeritas1]

My DH and my oldest son are currently in France staying with my parents in their house - I've stayed behind this week with the little one, as the weather forecast was non-stop rain where they are this first week and because of it's rural location, it would be very very difficult to keep the small one occupied - think an isolated farmhouse with one or two cottages nearby and nothing within walking distance - nearest swimming pool for example is a 45 min drive. So I opted to remain at home for the first week whilst the bigger ones go.

I'm due to join them on Monday - but I still don't want to leave here! I enjoy being in my home, doing nice day trips locally with the little one, and I don't want the hassle of having to drive to Dover, catch a fucking ferry, drive to the house, which is old and rambling, has no hot water (usually end up having to heat fucking saucepans on the stove for kids' baths.) It sounds like a rural idyll and it can be - I used to love it before I had kids but honestly, now i'm in mummy-mode I hate the whole hassle of it. My eldest is just approaching an age where he can enjoy a bigger adventure but i'd rather not go and stay at home, where everything sodding well works and I can control my environment. If I'm honest it's also quite nice not to have DH and the older one around - I've got the house to myself, I can keep the house tidy and I like not having them around me dominating the space all the time. Peace and quiet.

I feel I'm only going to please everyone else - my parents are already annoyed that I cancelled the first week out there - they think I was rude to do so and think the family need to be together all the fucking time - I'm far happier on my own here with the younger one. Fed up being dictated too - I wish they'd all just bugger off actually - i'm stressed just thinking about it. But if I don't go out there they'll be more drama - "see, I knew you'd bale out" etc etc

AIBU for NOT wanting to go on holiday???

I think if your Dh is cool with it you and the LO could develop a bad cold this weekend or tummy bug so it’s better to stay home than travel?

If you’re really sure they are all having a good time without you - husband included- and LO is happier at home, I’d be developing a Covid type illness which I’d better stay at home with. Battlefields in the rain and 45 minutes to civilisation sounds utterly grim! I don’t subscribe to female martyrdom.

I wouldn’t bother making up a lie when you have made your views so clear to them they would see straight through it

A well timed “sickness bug” will be just the ticket.
fuck everyone else, it sounds like the opposite of a holiday.

But even if your DH and parents get on well surely they’d all prefer you to be there?

YANBU to feel like this but you are going to need to go

Agreed. There are always posters though who advocate lying to get out of things they don't want to do.

I don't think the personal attacks on OP are necessary though.

It’s difficult to say but I think my older child would be disappointed not to have me and a sibling join them. So if that’s a factor I’d go, but maybe make sure that DP and in-laws muck in with the mummy duties. I think the weather is meant to be much better next week too.

@HundredMilesAnHour

Maybe he gets on with them better because he actually makes an effort?

Wow. You sound nasty. It’s just a thread asking a question. And you felt the need to get personal. Says a lot about you I guess

This. Can you imagine if a woman posted that her husband left her with the in laws whilst swanning off.

@ilovesooty

I don't think the personal attacks on OP are necessary though.

Thank-you. Really shocked at the vitriol in some of these replies. Anyone would think I’ve done something criminal. Some people oddly spiteful

Just pretend you aren't feeling well enough to travel.

I certainly wouldn't go but then I am not a people pleaser and I do what I want to do.

Yes, I am sure your paretns won;t want to get the bug.

I'd fly or take the train, and someone can pick you up the other end. Don't bother bathing the DC if there's no hot water, and just relish having a couple of extra pairs of hand to engage the little one. Maybe you're bit under the weather and need to rest in bed at your parents house while they do whatever is necessary, with DH support.
Normally I'd say that the baby can go on whatever trip everyone else is doing, but I think some of the battlefield trips incorporating museums and memorials are not really suitable for a little one still in a pram.

OP - am I being unreasonable.
A lot of posters - yes you are.
OP - no I’m not, stamps feet and spits out dummy.

So your husband gets on with your parents (we’ve only got your word on that)! You should’ve gone the first week as well. Ridiculous excuse to stay home.

Yes, it's great fun having to heat water in pans for a bath!

What is wrong with you? She is swearing because a lot of people swear on MN when they wouldn't in RL and is just showing her frustration.

Please ignore the idiots on this thread.

Just do what you want to do. You will be the one having to look after a baby and so it is up to you what you do.

It's too late to pull out now, not fair on the others in France who are looking forward to seeing you. Surely it will be nice to see everyone, even if it's not a dream holiday!

Crazy accusatory posts as usual.

Op, don't listen to this nonsense.

Could you & little one develop a 48 hr or so vom bug?

Longer enough so it wouldn't be worth going.

The place is unsuitable for a young child .... Your parents and DH are foolish & selfish for refusing to see it and have some consideration.

*Long enough

Don't you miss your older child?

Exactly this.

You are being a bit selfish.

When we have kids we have to sometimes do things we don’t want to do.

I can think of worse things than having a week in rural France.

No hot water?, miles away from anything that'll occupy little one? Yeah YNBU, just tell a white lie "sorry, little on isnt feeling the best. dont want to travel with them right now" and get on with things