Second child- am I being unreasonable for really wanting another one?

[Happyday122]

I will try to keep this short, we have tried for a couple of years to have a second kid, and it looks like we may need IVF. We always said we would not do IVF, we have a wonderful son, a very happy life as a family of 3, the only reason to do it would be my own burning desire to have another. DH is happy either way, one or two kids. Then I look at the state of the world and think maybe if it doesn't happen there is a reason for it not working. Are people with two kids always happier than people with 1?

AIBU- Of course not, it doesn't depend on family size on how happy you are
YANBU- More kids, more happiness

Well you’re not being unreasonable to want another child but your voting options are unreasonable!

So based on those principles you'll be advising yourself and loved ones never to take "man made" medicines or "man made" medical treatments for deadly, but curable diseases, or childhood vaccines, or eat any "man made" food....

IVF simply helps treat a medical condition some people are born with, just like all other medical treatment does. I hope you're not implying all infertile people do not deserve to be parents..

Op it's a very personal decision. And nobody talks about secondary infertility.

I tried IUI before IVF, I found IUI very hard emotionally. Decided to give IVF one round, my fresh transfer failed, and the deciding factor in going for a FET was I wasn't ready to bin them or go home and clear out the cupboards and give away my baby stuff.

Well I assume that also means that you wouldn't accept any life saving treatments or medication.

The world's over populated we should just let all the sick people die, regardless of their odds of a full recovery?

Not that I’m arguing with your theory, but I’d be interested to know, genuinely, what science says that?

What a ridiculous and to be frank, stupid thing to say.

Do you feel the same way about other “man made” medical advances like cancer treatment, contraception, glasses? If you are supposed to see you would be blessed with good vision?

There are various studies which have different conclusions:

https://amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/singletons/202206/are-mothers-happier-one-child-or-more?amp

https://www.herfamily.ie/amp/news/parents-many-children-happiest-need-lie-maybe-best-not-260088

These studies will variously tell you that women are happiest with no children, one child or four+ children!

I think you’d regret not trying at least. You’d always wonder what if… if you give it one shot I think you’d then be able to feel more it wasn’t meant to be than if you didn’t ever explore/ try.

Also just wrong, we are facing population decline in the UK and many other countries, which will be disastrous for the economy and society!