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Original poster

How often do you get chatted up

95 replies

cinnamondyl · 02/08/2023 22:38

How often do you get chatted up, glanced at, asked out etc. Feel like I'm becoming invisible...

OP posts:
TrishM80 · 02/08/2023 23:36

cinnamondyl · 02/08/2023 23:25

I agree, it is harassment which makes it ridiculous that I feel this way. Just feeling a bit down after seeing bestie today and her showing me pages of texts from a workman desperate to take her out and I never get any interest ever. She said a comment about it being rubbish that us women have to deal with this and I felt embarrassed as I don't. She genuinely thinks every woman has to deal with this, bless her. I don't want this to sound like I'm throwing her under the bus, she's absolutely lovely and I'm just feeling really jealous and maybe a bit lonely.

If I didn't know any better, it looks for all the world like stealth boasting!

Buninthecorner · 02/08/2023 23:36

Never. Don't really care either. I'm old and fatter than I've ever been now. If I dress up nicely and wear make up, it's usually for work and to make myself happy no one else. Ex husband couldn't stop himself staring at slim, young girls every single time we stepped out of the house. I no longer live with that anxiety anymore of never measuring up to his unspoken standards which I am grateful for. Being invisible generally is better than being invisible to your husband.

TeenLifeMum · 02/08/2023 23:37

Never but I’m happily married with a resting bitch face. Dh says men look bit I don’t notice. I have a male friend at work who is very sweet but he’d never over step. I have a feeling that if I was single he might try but it would be a polite no… I’m not single so it’s not an issue.

LilyRed · 02/08/2023 23:37

To clear up any misunderstanding, I would like to make clear that the men who approach me online have all had the same or similar chat up lines... so formulaic, and been quite pestering and sexual in their comments; not exactly desirable.

Original poster
cinnamondyl · 02/08/2023 23:38

I am also overweight, so this is probably not helping

OP posts:
JerkintheMerkin · 02/08/2023 23:43

I've been chatted up a few times while out with my daughter. She's not impressed by men approaching me, gives them the evils and says they look "sketchy"🤣. I trust her judgment.

WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 02/08/2023 23:45

Actually quite often if I'm out. I'm NOTHING to write home about and the men are the ones who I wouldn't touch with a bargepole, and they're usually drunk 🤣

I've just read that back 🤣🤣

Yeah, never!! Ohh I'm chuckling now.

Itsjustafly · 02/08/2023 23:45

I'm 38, fat, always have been, get chatted up fairly frequently, most times I go 'out out' and so many times at work.
I do carry the weight reasonably well for a fat lass but I'm still clearly overweight. I am pretty confident and outgoing and I think I do have a nice face/good teeth/take care of myself generally. Absolute bullshit that men don't fancy fat women.

SoRad · 02/08/2023 23:48

No idea!… My friend and dh take the piss out of me as I’ve been chatted up in the past and just happily chatted away blissfully unaware that I’m being hit on.

FuckNuggets · 02/08/2023 23:49

I became invisible the day I turned 40, it's bloody fantastic!

TrishM80 · 02/08/2023 23:52

Itsjustafly · 02/08/2023 23:45

I'm 38, fat, always have been, get chatted up fairly frequently, most times I go 'out out' and so many times at work.
I do carry the weight reasonably well for a fat lass but I'm still clearly overweight. I am pretty confident and outgoing and I think I do have a nice face/good teeth/take care of myself generally. Absolute bullshit that men don't fancy fat women.

I've heard of men fancying "FBF" women ("fat but fit").

LuckyCats · 02/08/2023 23:53

No idea, unless someone gets down on one knee with a diamond ring I’m completely oblivious to come on,s, chat ups or anything else, I don’t take hints at all, suspect I might be autistic because there are signals I just don’t get.
I’ve had friends tell me can’t you see that or why didn’t you do that and I just don’t get it or know what I’m supposed to do.
im glad cuz I hate the thought of men coming on to me at all.
been with my boyfriend for 18 months and we didn’t kiss until 3rd date, we are both weird in similar ways.

Tothemoonandbackx · 02/08/2023 23:56

Aaaaaaall the time, but I work in an environment where it's mainly male orientated, especially when I work in different shops.....new face...new person to chat up, you get the idea. Don't know how many times I have to hear the same lines. I just laugh about it and show my disdain now.

Catsmere · 02/08/2023 23:59

Never, thank God. Not when I was young and certainly not now.

AGoodDayForSomebodyElseToDie · 03/08/2023 00:00

I come with a “never knowingly chatted up” guarantee.

The “knowingly” being a critical word there. It would help if they flew a little flag to express their intentions, like a Jolly Roger, a blue Peter or even just the plague flag…

PermanentTemporary · 03/08/2023 00:03

Never at the moment, though I sometimes still feel that I'm getting the eye from the occasional bloke - largely a confidence thing i think, I have a high sex drive and have a slight tendency to letch at eye up people myself, which occasionally gets a response*

*This may be delusional- I'm 54 and clinically obese

A couple of years back when I was 2 stone lighter and with a gonzo sex life, a lot more looks, though still pretty much no approaches.

QueefQueen80s · 03/08/2023 00:03

arethereanyleftatall · 02/08/2023 23:13

As soon as I got divorced, I was horrified and felt sick at the approx 50% of married men in my group of friends who upped their flirting with me, literally the first time we all went out after my divorce.

It's bizarre isn't it. I get more attention from taken men than single men, friends report the same from dating apps.
Most married men have that glint in their eyes when they look at you, doesn't mean they will act on it but they are always scouting.

QueefQueen80s · 03/08/2023 00:06

FuckNuggets · 02/08/2023 23:49

I became invisible the day I turned 40, it's bloody fantastic!

I get more attention the older I get, weird how it's different for people!

Johnisafckface · 03/08/2023 00:11

Only by men at least 20 yrs older than me. And that was even when I was young…but for the most part never. Even when I still had my looks. 😂

nuewave · 03/08/2023 00:32

Rarely, about once a year. Used to be more often before I met DH - I was probably more receptive to attention when I was single, plus I was younger (met DH late 20s). Most of the time I have a child in tow and am too preoccupied to respond to much chatting, from men or anyone else!

Kugela · 03/08/2023 00:49

I’m in my 60s and have white hair, so I’ve been invisible for at least 20 years!

MaxwellCat · 03/08/2023 00:51

Use to happen all the time when I was young. I find it odd people saying it’s never happened to them at all? Use to be a regular occurrence for me and all my friends, that’s how I met men (never did old and wasn’t popular when I was younger) now that I’ve had kids, never.

SirSmellyJohn · 03/08/2023 00:54

At my age and weight, rarely. Thank God!

Miranaboll · 03/08/2023 01:29

Never since hitting late 30s. No much before that either anyway. Where does all this chatting up even happen? I can’t imagine being in the shop and some guy being so enamoured that he’d chat me up by the tomatoes.

onlynotafan · 03/08/2023 01:32

👎 never.