To be terrified of driving abroad?

[FranceCalling]

Name changed as I am so embarrassed
My 2 DD and I are due to go on holiday soon to France, and in a moment of bravery or madness, I decided to drive as due to multiple disabilities in our family theoretically it should be easier and a lot less stressful.

Except I have never driven abroad before and I am absolutely terrified. I am the only driver, and even the thought of driving off the ferry is making me so anxious. To be honest, even driving on to the ferry isnt much better, I am anxious over everything - getting in the right lane, parking with enough room for my chair and so on.

Then driving in France - the tolls. The motorways. The junctions. I keep telling myself to woman up, that thousands of other people do it every day, but I keep telling myself to just book Eurostar instead!

Does anyone have any tips at all please? I have watched hundreds of youtube vidoes, practiced going round the park roundabouts in my wheelchair the opposite way (must have looked a right twat!) and I still just cant see it happening

You’ll be fine. I was really nervous too. My advice would be to make the first day’s drive shortish, just to ease yourself in. And don’t drive in the dark on your first day. If possible find somewhere nice to stay a couple of hours from the port.

It's easier when there is other traffic on the roads as you can follow the flow of traffic which is very handy at junctions and roundabouts. I've driven all over Europe and the only place I would avoid is a city centre like Rome or Paris as the traffic is just mayhem and scary.

I was thinking of Arras, it's only an hour from Calais. I think part of my issue is I'm becoming paralysed by indecision so that even the simple decisions involve way too much overthinking.

Yeah, beautiful empty roads until the French come up behind you desperate to overtake at 1000km per hour... hideous.

I love driving but abroad and in my own car? No thanks. The French only have to see that GB sticker and they go off!!!

I find it easier driving in France than the UK! The roads are quieter, and generally speaking less complex junctions (I haven’t driven round Paris so that could be different). It’s easier to drive in France than it is to drive round Bath for example 😂

Roundabouts are fine, the approach roads will angle you correctly so it’s natural to go round them the correct way, and of course you will naturally follow the other cars.

I live abroad and drive both there and in UK. In fact just driven over to UK today. It's fine, I promise. Driving in France is EASY- roads are quieter, better etc. Toll booths are fine, well signed. You can do this. It's just like driving in UK but on other side of the road. It takes 2 mins to get used to it, I promise ! Go for it!

The worst part of driving in France is coming back to Southern England's horrible motorways after you've got used to lovely French roads.

It's fine. Roads are far less busy. Just don't drive round the Arc de Triomphe and you'll be ok. In my experience you're much more likely to drive on the wrong side of the road if it's quiet (so remember at those moments). Road positioning is the trickiest thing and you get used to it very quickly. Also read up on French road rules in particular priority to the right. Not always followed - especially when it doesn't make sense to do so - but is sometimes. Useful to know about.

@HungryandIknowit - have driven round Paris- that WAS scary as had no idea where I was going! But I survived but not to be repeated quickly !

If you're driving a route which is popular with British tourists, then some of the toll plazas have a lane which is for British cars, so that the driver can pay. They have a union flag over them :-)

We went through Paris on a motorbike once, round L'arc de Triomphe at evening rush hour was one of the most insane things I've ever witnessed!

If you are taking your own car then the worst bit.....remembering to change gear with your right hand....won't even be an issue.

Don’t worry about the X roundabouts mentioned above where traffic entering has priority. I’ve been driving in France since the early 90s and the only one I’ve encountered is, yes, the Arc de Triomphe and, yes, it is insane.

All that said, I have sometimes wondered about taking a driving holiday in the UK, but I have all your fears in reverse! compounded by what many PP are saying above - the roads seem to be so crowded and people seem to drive incredibly fast given the conditions!

No, meaning that you have manoeuvred into the left lane on the autoroute to overtake a slower vehicle, realise that there is a vehicle ahead of that equally slow and that returning to the right lane immediately between them would be dangerous . You are signalling to those BEHIND you that you’ll be out there a few seconds longer. The aggressive left signalling whilst sat on your back bumper seems less commonplace in recent years.

I was very nervous the first time I did it, it’s normal to be scared. It’s ok coming off the ferry as just follow the cars in front. Your passenger needs to be on the ball as you need them to double check when joining motorway etc as it’s harder having the wheel on the ‘wrong side’. I find motorways ok, it’s harder in towns as I struggle with going to close to the gutters etc, my passenger is always telling me I’m too close etc, that’s the hardest part and I have to really concentrate. The passenger will pay the tolls so don’t worry about that

Please don’t worry, I drove from Spain to the UK and back a few times a year and although the first time I did it alone I was nervous, it really is very easy on French motorways, they’re lovely.

I had to do it all in one during the pandemic as France wouldn’t allow us to stop overnight! Tough going but managed it!

Coming off the ferry or Eurostar is done very naturally, it leads you straight onto the motorway, you can’t get lost.

if you can time it to go on sundays there aren’t lorries on the roads. But the motorways are big three lane ones anyway so lorries aren’t usually an issue. And yes, some of the roadside rest stops (aires) are incredible!

Driving in towns is a lot harder in my opinion

Right. I am doing this. I thnk I have booked our first night in Compiegne, which is just over a 2 hour drive which I think should be doable in one go. We stayed in a Eurocamp near here years ago, but as we were without a car then we didn't actually manage to get into the town itself so I hope that is sufficient motivation.

I know it is just the anticipation that is stressing me rather than the actual drive so fingers crossed all your tips work!

It’s one of those things that sounds worse than it is.

You will be fine - you’ll probably go round a few roundabouts a few times and miss a few turn offs, but These says Sat nav will get you quickly back on track. Just take it slowly.

It’s a lot easier than not having a car.

Lots of people will say if you’re nervous don’t do it - but that’s making something manageable much bigger than it is. Lots of women loose confidence driving outside their area at quite a young age - it really shrinks you life so don’t do that.

You'll be fine, I drove myself around a few European countries last year and was utterly terrified before I went to the point that I was having trouble sleeping and was seriously considering cancelling the trip.

For some reason I was most nervous about just navigating the Eurostar drive-on bit, and I had to remind myself daily that it's specifically designed to be easy to do and that hundreds of thousands of people navigate it successfully every year so I had nothing to be scared of. (It was super easy in the end!)

I cannot for the life of me tell my left from my right, so I wore a hair scrunchie on my right wrist every single time I got into the car to remind me which side of the road I needed to be on.

My sat nav covered Europe and was great. I never took a toll road in France because as I was on my own I was on the wrong side of the car for the ticket booths and didn't fancy having to get out of the car, go around it, pay, go around, get back in and go with French drivers honking madly throughout the whole thing, so took slightly longer routes and it was very enjoyable. French roads have much more frequent areas to pull over and get off the road than we do, navigating was very easy and the roads in general were much less busy with the exception of being near large cities.

Just reassure yourself that you can take your time getting used to being on the other side of the road, look up how to change your car from mph to km before you begin driving in France so the speed signs don't stress you out, make sure you know the speed limits for when there are no speed signs, and allow yourself to get used to it in your own time. I would have no hesitation about taking myself off into Europe in my own car again.

I am literally in France right now, in a car on the motorway. DH is driving! This is our first family holiday abroad and neither of us has driven on the right before. We came via Calais and stopped in Arras overnight before continuing to NE Paris. I was terrified beforehand but have found it predominantly fine.

The motorways are quieter but fuck me, the French can be bloody aggressive outside of motorways. We've only hit heavy traffic twice and the weaving, shoving, pushing and illegal manoeuvres have been almost funny at times. This has only happened twice but we weren't prepared for the fact that they will move across with no hesitation, almost no gap and no indication. Possibly just bad luck but it was remarkable.

Speed limits vary far more than in the UK and jump around a lot so keep your eyes peeled.

Hardest bit so far was a motorway in torrential rain as nobody had rear lights on their cars. Same as the UK really with the reliance on daytime running lights but at high speed, far more frightening. Oh and trucks seem far more comfortable with moving from the inside lane. It seems faster, more fluid and quick to change.

It's doable though. Eminently doable. Sat Nav has been a god send.

Oh and we have just been to a service station and it was pristine, food was freshly made and included really good salads and the staff were lovely. We remarked that it was nothing like the pit of misery that is Bishop Stortford. Again, maybe we were lucky!

As others have said, get a tag for the peages, so you're not faffing around with card payments. here You can still use the standard booths and the barrier will beep and lift automatically, but you can also use the ones with a 30 sign above them - don't go into one of these unless you have a tag!

Check what you need in terms of compulsory items- hi-vis jackets, V5 document, adequate insurance, warning triangle etc here You may want to get breakdown cover as well.

Be aware that the speed limit on single carriageway roads is 80kmh (50mph) - used to be 90/60 and the gendarmes do enforce it so be vigilant.

Finally, the French can be quite aggressive on single carriageway roads, overtaking on blind bends/hills etc, so just drive within your capabilities and let them get on with it. I swear they teach this to learner drivers in France - they all seem to think the first rule of the road is to be in front! But I love driving in France - roads are generally quieter, motorways better maintained and services are usually a high standard. Remind yourself you need to be driving in the gutter to keep you on the right hand side.

My ex always drove when we went aboard and constantly told me 'I wouldn't manage it' and 'it's too dangerous for you'.

So the first time I went I took my mum - who drove in Europe several times a year so she could drive - only she couldn't manoeuvre my stupid big car off the ferry so I did - straight on to the motorway - for 4 hours - it's a doddle - honestly please don't worry.

My kids used to argue over who's turn it was to put the card in at the tolls

Don't worry about junctions and round a bouts - the roads are laid out to 'push' you the right way - just watch traffic lights in smaller towns then can be less obvious. French motorways are a dream!

Speed limits vary far more than in the UK and jump around a lot so keep your eyes peeled

Yes, this. And the speed cameras are usually grey and hidden low down behind the motorway barriers. If you see a sign for speed cameras, there will DEFINITELY be cameras.

Wow! No idea what part of France you drive in, but we've just driven down to Occitanie & back (ten hours each way from Belgium) and the service stations were nothing like that! Toilets immaculate in each one, loo roll plentiful, only encountered one long queue, some good food options (at the very least you can almost always get a baguette and packets of ham/cheese to diy it).

Agree that having a tag is a bonus for the tolls, you can order one here https://www.emovis-tag.co.uk/ but it takes a while to come. The cost can add up on a long drive, our total tolls for this trip were £138, but the roads are a dream so I don't begrudge it.

Don't worry about the roundabouts, usually it will feel counter intuitive to go around them clockwise because of the way the approach will be angled.

When I first started driving in Europe the danger points for me would be immediately after coming off of the ferry, or after I'd taken a short break to get food or petrol.

Honestly though, it's a far nicer experience than driving over here, and will feel completely natural after a couple of days. Hope you have a lovely holiday.