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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be terrified of driving abroad?

98 replies

FranceCalling · 02/08/2023 19:29

Name changed as I am so embarrassed Blush
My 2 DD and I are due to go on holiday soon to France, and in a moment of bravery or madness, I decided to drive as due to multiple disabilities in our family theoretically it should be easier and a lot less stressful.

Except I have never driven abroad before and I am absolutely terrified. I am the only driver, and even the thought of driving off the ferry is making me so anxious. To be honest, even driving on to the ferry isnt much better, I am anxious over everything - getting in the right lane, parking with enough room for my chair and so on.

Then driving in France - the tolls. The motorways. The junctions. I keep telling myself to woman up, that thousands of other people do it every day, but I keep telling myself to just book Eurostar instead!

Does anyone have any tips at all please? I have watched hundreds of youtube vidoes, practiced going round the park roundabouts in my wheelchair the opposite way (must have looked a right twat!) and I still just cant see it happening Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
FranceCalling · 02/08/2023 20:12

Thank you for all your lovely words. I am going to find some specific YouTube videos of driving on to the ferry, which lane to go in at the tolls etc and try to form a plan.

I am torn between driving the full 4 hour journey in one go (with a stop half way) to just get it over with, or driving a couple of hours then stopping for a few hours in a town on the way. I keep getting told different things - if I do the full journey then as that is all on motorways I won't get proper experience of junctions etc. But if I stop at a town en route, then what if all the little junctions and roundabouts are too much?!

OP posts:
MakeMeShine · 02/08/2023 20:13

If you’re a nervous driver you shouldn’t be driving at all, let alone in another country.

Anxious drivers are dangerous drivers.

BellaJuno · 02/08/2023 20:14

I’d stick to motorways to get your confidence up, there are loads of picnic rest stops. Then you can drive to towns etc once your initial anxiety is reduced.

jc12689 · 02/08/2023 20:15

MakeMeShine · 02/08/2023 20:13

If you’re a nervous driver you shouldn’t be driving at all, let alone in another country.

Anxious drivers are dangerous drivers.

Oh shut up.

EspanolSiesta · 02/08/2023 20:17

Where are you heading to OP?

SwedishEdith · 02/08/2023 20:17

Agree that driving on the right feels more intuitive. French roads are great but the passenger has to use the contactless card - prepare your kids to help you here. You can get a tag but not sure how much notice you need to sort that.

Make sure you order the French ULEZ thing - crit air? Even if you don't get the sticker in time for your car, you'll be fine as long as you've ordered it.

You can set your sat nav to avoid tolls so do that if you're worried about the tolls. You see more of French villages that way as well

Don't worry about the ferry. Lots of waving you on and directing you. And I love the ferry workers in the car deck with their "Keep moving forward" gestures. Jealous - you'll have a great adventure and feel brave that you did it.

Beldam · 02/08/2023 20:19

You will be fine and you will gain confidence with every minute you are driving.

my advice would be to say to yourself “elbow to the kerb” which basically means that when your driving your right side is next to the kerb ( only in your own car obvs ) This has got us through many a confusing moment.

YesitsBess · 02/08/2023 20:20

There will be lots of 'Aires' on the side of motorways. Pack a picnic and enjoy!

Make sure you have your car kit for France, you can get the whole caboodle Here

Make sure your breakdown covers Europe

Remember some larger French petrol stations you fill up then go and park in front of the shop itself rather than leave the car at the pump.

Take loo roll (trust me on this)

Take a map JUST IN CASE all satellites suddenly have a meltdown.

Find out your data roaming plan.

QueSyrahSyrah · 02/08/2023 20:21

Agree with SwedishEdith about the ferry crew knowing what to do and directing you well.

Different companies might be different but I know with the one we used Channel Islands to France that passengers requiring assistance (like room for your chair) were asked to check in early and put their hazard lights on in the queue, so crew were aware. Might be worth calling your ferry company in advance to find out what they can offer you in terms of early boarding / more space etc.

Original poster
FranceCalling · 02/08/2023 20:24

We are going to France.

@YesitsBess thank you so much for the petrol station tip, that was another worry!

@MakeMeShine I am a nervous driver for something that I have never done before, but am fine once I get going. I was similarly terrified over driving an automatic for the first time, but by the time I had driven the 20mins home I was absolutely fine Smile

OP posts:
Hopingforagreatescape · 02/08/2023 20:26

As a previous poster said - if you're driving your own British car, then you, the driver, must be at the edge of the road in France.

Another thing is that their roads are a lot less busy than ours, so mistakes are far less likely to cause a flurry of enraged horn-beeping and vile hand gestures.

I was you a few years ago, but honestly, once a few hundred yards off the ferry, I realised it would be ok. And it was.

SwedishEdith · 02/08/2023 20:29

You get a shock when you get back to the UK. How crowded the roads are and so many road works.

YesitsBess · 02/08/2023 20:29

EspanolSiesta · 02/08/2023 20:17

Where are you heading to OP?

@FranceCalling 's name wasn't a clue? 😁

I'm going to guess which country you're in....hang on...it'll come to me....

‐-------------

France calling don't worry about the petrol stations too much, you're not going to get shot if you stay by the pump, but if you're picking up coffee etc you just shift forward into a parking slot, make sure you know your reg though.

Have you got everything on the list? The car kits are a legal requirement so don't forget, I think the one I linked has the UK bumper sticker in it too.

See? Now I'm anxious for you!

AlisonDonut · 02/08/2023 20:33

What time does your ferry dock? If you are docking in the evening it is a good idea to get a local hotel and make the longer trip the next morning.

But yes, you just drive off and stick to the right hand side of the road. If it feels wrong, it is probably right.

I find it easier in a UK car here in France than my French car. I wish we could have kept our UK one but it was going to cost too much to get the lights changed over.

Remember the red triangle and all the legal things you need to take with you. Know your route. Bring copies of all your documents and licences and have them in the car.

EspanolSiesta · 02/08/2023 20:44

Obviously, I wasn't specific enough!

What part of France are you going to OP

supersop60 · 02/08/2023 20:51

YesitsBess · 02/08/2023 20:20

There will be lots of 'Aires' on the side of motorways. Pack a picnic and enjoy!

Make sure you have your car kit for France, you can get the whole caboodle Here

Make sure your breakdown covers Europe

Remember some larger French petrol stations you fill up then go and park in front of the shop itself rather than leave the car at the pump.

Take loo roll (trust me on this)

Take a map JUST IN CASE all satellites suddenly have a meltdown.

Find out your data roaming plan.

Agree with all of this. We came back a couple of weeks ago, and I was so pleased with myself for having a go. The roads in France are quieter and in better condition than in UK. The Aires (service areas) on the motorway are all lovely - some are just picnic areas without fuel pumps - and they are frequent, so not busy. Good luck! Bon Vacances!

Wertie · 02/08/2023 20:53

It’s much easier , junctions are easier, roads are less busy, road surfaces are better maintained

Banquosfeast · 02/08/2023 20:56

I always wear a single glove, on my right hand - a constant reminder to drive on the right.

TaylorsSwimShorts · 02/08/2023 21:24

Definitely get the tag, you'll sail through tolls and get billed the following month, much much easier when your front passenger is a child, the services are much nicer and more frequent than ours, often with a nice play park/picnic area too! Have fun!

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 02/08/2023 21:34

The roads are way better than the UK and the traffic lights have little mini ones further down the pole which makes them easier to see. Toll motorways have far fewer trucks and the vibe is chill. Go for it, you can do it !

laloue · 02/08/2023 21:39

Don’t stress, beautiful empty roads and much less frenetic than here.
Remember that you, as the driver (of a uk vehicle), need to be by the kerb / hard shoulder unless overtaking. Keep your (left)indicator on if you are going to continue an overtake ie: more than one vehicle. Once you get a couple of roundabouts out of the way you’ll be fine, but a wingman is useful in the passenger seat. Get an emovis tag ( not any cheaper , but makes life so much easier)and swan up to the tag lane at a slow speed and onwards without toll stress. Can’t say much about ferries as we switched to the tunnel years ago. Enjoy the aires (Baie de Somme is our favourite) , have a nap at one when you feel so inclined and just soak up the experience. I far prefer driving in France to the UK…much less aggression and loads of space for those who want to put their foot down to just get on with it. It’s also improved in the 30 odd(there’s a reality check for me!)years I’ve been doing it for our holidays since I was a teen. Just take it easy , stop at pedestrian crossings in towns and villages with a smile on your face …and then pull up outside a fab boulangerie. All will be well.

TropicalTrama · 02/08/2023 21:51

Be prepared- French service stations are the absolute pits. So much worse than the UK. Be prepared for insanely long queues for petrol, sometimes it’s contactless pay at pump so all normal but occasionally you get nonsense like guess how much petrol you need because you must pre pay with a grumpy woman in a booth then pump it exactly to the cent. The toilets will be nightclub at 3am filthy with the queue to match and added pleasure of loads of flies buzzing about. The food is absolutely disgusting, if there’s a burger king then stop because that’s as good as it gets. Ideally though pack food and use the small picnic aires as those toilets are cleanest with no queues and only stop at the big ones for petrol. BYO loo roll and hand sanitizer though as there’s no guarantee of either. The driving itself is so easy though! If you have time get a tag for the tolls, it does make things quicker and easier. Roundabouts do have an arrow telling you which way to go and there will be other traffic to follow so you can’t go wrong really. Have a lovely holiday!

Barrell · 02/08/2023 21:57

I was just like you and then one day I just decided to bite the bullet and do it. And you know what? It wasn’t anywhere near as difficult as expected and I’ve done it several times since, in France and Spain.

That said, please, please do not drive in Sicily - it’s an absolute free for all.

ShakeYourFeathers · 02/08/2023 22:01

I was you last year. But I did it and it was absolutely fine

The worst was T junctions on quiet roads I found but soon got used to it. And it was surreal driving back in the uk

It helps the roads over there are quieter

Get one of those roundabout stickers in the ferry shop to jog your memory if needed

TropicalTrama · 02/08/2023 22:01

Keep your (left)indicator on if you are going to continue an overtake ie: more than one vehicle.
Do you mean on the motorway? Because definitely not- that’s when you’re driving in the outside lane and the car in front of you is not overtaking as quickly as you want so you’re signalling to them to pull in and let you pass. Probably pretty aggressive by British standards but standard practice in France.