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Original poster

To be upset partner of 18 years comments on other women's insta in a suggestive way

61 replies

whatdoesthefoxsay · 01/08/2023 20:51

So fed up. Just seen on Insta that my Partner comments on other women's insta saying they look lovely with a wink emoji etc and love the outfit etc when they are wearing a small crop top woth large breasts and filming a slow mo video of them.
Just feels so disrespectful, yes it's not a private message yet but that also makes it humiliating as I know other people that do our shared hobby will have seen this. He doesn't know this particular woman irl, she's on the other side of the world so it's not jealousy I feel just fuckin disrespected. He has form for things similar yet worse over the years and has made me quite insecure. He reckons rhay it's fine what he's done and I'm unreasonable and insecure. TWAT!!!

OP posts:
ScabbyHorse · 01/08/2023 21:15

Not unreasonable to be annoyed about this.

GCAcademic · 01/08/2023 21:17

He sounds like a sad, pathetic creep. This is more humiliating for him than it is for you, OP.

Fatkittythinkitty · 01/08/2023 21:18

Ew, what an embarrassing perv!

roarrfeckingroar · 01/08/2023 21:19

How do you have to ask?

Of course it's disrespectful

livethislifetoday · 01/08/2023 22:04

GCAcademic · 01/08/2023 21:17

He sounds like a sad, pathetic creep. This is more humiliating for him than it is for you, OP.

Sadly I disagree with this. We knew a friends husband who did this, we already thought he was a dick and didn't like him. The sympathy and embarrassment were felt for her.
Alongside working out why you're with a man like this, tell him to stop immediately. It's totally unfair on you.

Original poster
whatdoesthefoxsay · 04/08/2023 16:22

So one of his comments was 'smooth, helps with my ankle fetish too 🙂' and ' wow, you look nice, love the outfit (wink emoji) she was very scantily clad with a massive cleavage on show and exactly his type.

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 04/08/2023 16:22

Can you leave him?

BranchGold · 04/08/2023 16:23

Oh how bloody mortifying!

Why do you stay??

Original poster
whatdoesthefoxsay · 04/08/2023 16:24

He says the fetishism comment was a joke and I'm just scraping the barrel with that one. This is a lady he knows irl as they share a hobby but have only met a couple of times. I have met her once at an event related to the hobby where he went off woth her as soon as we got there and were together for about 45 mins solid doing the hobby whilst I was with the kids/slash doing y own thing as I'm not very good at said hobby.

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BranchGold · 04/08/2023 16:27

I get the sense that you’ve become engulfed in this pattern of behaviour where you ruminate and ponder about his actions/ motives, trying to get some logical answers for why he is the way he is.

Stop it.

If you need to ponder anything, it should be your very own actions. Are you happy in this relationship? Do you find it tolerable? Do you feel respected and cherished? Does it matter to you?

Yusay · 04/08/2023 16:29

Wow, well yes that is very disrespectful to you.

He doesn’t seem very interested in your feelings 😔 I hope the rest of your relationship is better than this.

ManateeFair · 04/08/2023 16:30

I'd hate that. It's such classic creepy-old-man-on-social-media behaviour. Yeah, obviously it's not an affair and ultimately these women probably haven't even noticed he exists, but like you say, it's just so cringey and embarrassing. A bit like on Twitter when old blokes tweet at eg Holly Willoughby or someone on Good Morning Britain to tell them they like the low-cut top they're wearing on the telly or something and add a load of tongue-out and winking face emojis.

I would instantly stop finding a man attractive if I knew he was doing this. Proper ick stuff.

Marwoodsbigbreak · 04/08/2023 16:33

I wouldn't feel jealous. I would feel disgusted. He sounds absolutely vomtastic.

What on earth are you doing with such a vile pathetic man? How did your bar get so low?

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 04/08/2023 16:33

whatdoesthefoxsay · 04/08/2023 16:24

He says the fetishism comment was a joke and I'm just scraping the barrel with that one. This is a lady he knows irl as they share a hobby but have only met a couple of times. I have met her once at an event related to the hobby where he went off woth her as soon as we got there and were together for about 45 mins solid doing the hobby whilst I was with the kids/slash doing y own thing as I'm not very good at said hobby.

This sounds so over-the-top that I'm finding it hard to believe that someone would tolerate being treated this way by their "partner".

If true, then the OP needs to seriously evaluate why she allows this man to disrespect her and disregard her feelings so blatantly.

He sounds like a horny creep trying to get some online sexting started with these random women. What a prince🙄

LivingitLarge · 04/08/2023 16:34

What, and he doesn’t mind if people you both know see his pervy comments? Gross and embarrassing.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/08/2023 16:35

You should be asking yourself why you've stayed with him all these years. Your bar is seemingly very, very low.

Original poster
whatdoesthefoxsay · 04/08/2023 16:38

Yes, it's very true. He keeps minimising, says sorry under pressure and then 5 mins later just says he only said she looks nice. No genuine apology. He has just discovered Instagram and is on it loads. He's 49!! This is why I have been driven to post this as he doesn't see a problem really so then I think is it me being ott?

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Original poster
whatdoesthefoxsay · 04/08/2023 16:40

I've had to forgive this kind of thing several times before and keep going, the next day he bought me flowers and asked for a hug. Lol that he thinks this will solve it. Something feels different this time and I'm so glad it those of you who have replied have agreed and making me see this isn't normal or okay

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BranchGold · 04/08/2023 16:42

I’ve had to forgive this kind of thing

says who? The only person who controls your response is you. You can change your mind, you can take back your forgiveness.

Original poster
whatdoesthefoxsay · 04/08/2023 16:42

LivingitLarge · 04/08/2023 16:34

What, and he doesn’t mind if people you both know see his pervy comments? Gross and embarrassing.

Yes, more than likely to be trying to start a sexting thing. Although he is saying it was nothing, I saw his guilt all over his face

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Hibiscrubbed · 04/08/2023 16:43

Christ. He’s really embarrassing himself. Unfortunately, he’s also embarrassing you.

Is he disrespectful and a shit partner in other ways? Is he selfish? Does he regularly behave like a twat and blame you/tell you you’re imagining it/gaslight you and downplay it?

I’d hazard a ‘yes’ at all of the above.

Original poster
whatdoesthefoxsay · 04/08/2023 16:43

He also signed up to a website for local sex hook ups when our children were small

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Watchkeys · 04/08/2023 16:45

He reckons rhay it's fine what he's done and I'm unreasonable and insecure

It doesn't really matter what he's done, in comparison to how much it matters that he belittles your feelings like this.

Are you going to stay with him? If so, why?

Original poster
whatdoesthefoxsay · 04/08/2023 16:47

Years ago he did the same to a random woman on market place who was selling a dress. Pmd her to say the dress was nice but her body was amazing or something about her being sexy, can't quite remember

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Original poster
whatdoesthefoxsay · 04/08/2023 16:51

Yes, there are other issues. But I really want an honest opinion on what other women would think of those comments if their partner did that on Instagram.

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