Think less of my friend for reporting somebody for benefit fraud

[JimJams91]

My new-ish friend told me yesterday that she has reported her ex husbands new girlfriend for benefit fraud.

She doesn't know for certain that she's even committing benefit fraud but is feeling resentful about the small amount of CMS she receives from XH and doesn't like the thought of him spending money on another family (the girlfriend has children of her own that don't belong to the XH - children's father is deceased so the XH is likely spending a fair bit of time with/around them)

I felt quite uncomfortable when she told me about it and said I don't think it was the right thing to do because 1) there's no proof it's even happening and 2) if it is happening it'll impact her children more than it will her XH as he won't be the one in legal trouble or unable to feed his kids if his benefits are stopped.

Overall I don't like the idea of being spiteful to a woman who has done you no wrong just because you have a grudge against an ex. The ex seems like a complete waste of space but the girlfriend is a total stranger to her and has never done her any harm (and wasn't an OW)

I know benefit fraud is completely unacceptable but there's nothing to say it's even happening. Even if it was she has reported for the wrong reasons.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable for being against what she's done? If your friend told you this what would your reaction be?

If I were you I would let this friendship fizzle out. She sounds dangerous.

@Exworkcoach my benefits were stopped once except child benefit. They said my exh had moved back in , he hadn't. This was some time ago.

Clearly stopping benefits MAY happen (the official website says as much) and DOES happen (as per testimony on this thread).

That being the case, there is no defending OP's 'friend'. She reported maliciously and the consequences could be devastating for an entire family.

And anyone thinking of reporting benefit fraud needs to be 100% certain, because if they aren't, they could be responsible for tipping innocent people into poverty.

This is really interesting, isn’t it.

I used to be similarly hardline on reporting benefit fraud (‘well, I have to work and don’t want workshy chancers getting free money etc’)

But then I found out that a member of my extended family did it, and was caught, and I realised that my views were totally messed up. (To clarify, she was caught before I knew her!)

In this instance, she’d been claiming JSA and doing a tiny bit of cleaning work cash-in-hand, for which she got £50 a week. This was 20 years ago.

She was a single mum, widowed, with no real skills and four children. Her husband had been the main breadwinner. She made an error of judgement, taking £50 a week to help feed her family, because the JSA wasn’t enough, and she wasn’t successful at getting jobs (she was looking).

She was fiddling the system and got done for it. Of course she was wrong. But nobody won. She had her benefits deducted by an extreme amount to repay it, making her almost destitute in the meantime. The hardship it put her in was almost criminal.

In my view when we think of benefit fraud we think of someone wilfully ripping the taxpayer off for some sort of personal gain, their home drowning in the most expensive tech or having an extravagant lifestyle at the expense of the hardworking taxpayer. But in my personal and professional experience they are often doing it through necessity, and to keep their families afloat. It doesn’t mean I condone it, but it does mean I understand it and can see how and why you’d make the decision to do a little fiddle here or there.

Reporting someone in these circumstances is petty and vindictive.

Sorry i know this is a serious thread, but is their job title literally Decision Maker? With capital letters??

It sounds a bit YA dystopian novelly.

Someone once reported my sister for benefit fraud and she wasn't even claiming benefits.
It seemed odd to me at that time and still seems odd to me now, that someone would report this just based on assuming they must be benefit cheats, for no real reason.

I’d watch my step with her. I wouldn’t like to think what she’d do to you if you somehow offended you and she knew all of your secrets as a friend. Avoid. She sounds nasty.

Yes quite. It actually feels dangerous to know and be close to somebody who would do something like that out of jealousy or spite.

As a family we get some supplemental UC and carers. What if I piss her off one day, or already have by speaking my mind about her malicious report. Am I next?

I'm going to do a slow fade and knock this friendship on the head.

I hope the woman she reported doesn't have to deal with what some posters here have, it sounds like purgatory. I hope all is well for you now.