Think less of my friend for reporting somebody for benefit fraud

[JimJams91]

My new-ish friend told me yesterday that she has reported her ex husbands new girlfriend for benefit fraud.

She doesn't know for certain that she's even committing benefit fraud but is feeling resentful about the small amount of CMS she receives from XH and doesn't like the thought of him spending money on another family (the girlfriend has children of her own that don't belong to the XH - children's father is deceased so the XH is likely spending a fair bit of time with/around them)

I felt quite uncomfortable when she told me about it and said I don't think it was the right thing to do because 1) there's no proof it's even happening and 2) if it is happening it'll impact her children more than it will her XH as he won't be the one in legal trouble or unable to feed his kids if his benefits are stopped.

Overall I don't like the idea of being spiteful to a woman who has done you no wrong just because you have a grudge against an ex. The ex seems like a complete waste of space but the girlfriend is a total stranger to her and has never done her any harm (and wasn't an OW)

I know benefit fraud is completely unacceptable but there's nothing to say it's even happening. Even if it was she has reported for the wrong reasons.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable for being against what she's done? If your friend told you this what would your reaction be?

The thing is, she might have screwed herself.

If we say, Ex has moved into the house and she hasnt reported this, thanks to your friend's report, the benefits get switched and if she is claiming CMS, that goes down because of the new girlfriends children.

She thinks the girlfriend is a SAHM and has automatically assumed that she must be claiming full benefits in order for that to be possible. I don't think she has any actual reason to suspect she's on benefits in the first place, other than that. It's alot of assumption.

Considering she has no proof and it's due to her own vindictive opinions I agree OP, your new friend doesn't sound nice

YANBU, especially at this time when most people are struggling with the COL, it would be awful for someone to lose their benefits even temporarily whilst they are investigated for fraud. Hopefully HMRC will realise it’s just a case of ex jealousy.

I think it's a horrible thing to do, and no, I wouldn't be friends with someone like this.

I was reported once, by a neighbour who wanted to put the kybosh on a business I was involved in, and to scupper a planning application by getting me out of the way.

She assumed I was unemployed, but I was actually self employed and had always kept meticulous records, but did recieve tax credits. Even so it was terrifying, and took months to sort out the mess that was made. It also came at a time when my eldest child was seriously ill in hospital. The investigating officer was very kind, but as people above said, all benefits get put on hold and they take one hell of a time to get going again - especially housing benefit - which can cause terrible cash flow problems / bills that cannot be paid / risks of evictions especially if you are close to the breadline.

She could have MH issues, and this could spiral her into a terrible state. She could already be in some financial difficulties, and this could cause her and her children to really suffer. And thats on a whim, to be spiteful, not even on any evidence

The other thing is that, if she WERE found guilty, there is a chance she could be imprisoned. And her children put into care. Thats a really nasty thing to do to another woman. Especially one who has lost her husband. Benefits arent exactly living the high life

It makes me wonder what else she's capable of if somebody finds themselves in her bad books for whatever reason. Reports to social services? Fictitious reports for tax fraud? Etc.

It feels somewhat dangerous to know somebody who thinks it's acceptable to do things like that.

Unfortunately I don't think I'll be able to continue this friendship which is a shame for our children as that's how we met in the first place, my DS and her DS hit it off at a football club.

Yeah, I'm with you . It isn't about the fraud claim, it's the making something up to be spiteful
Don't cross her eh?

Just wondering when it is “right” to report someone for benefit fraud then? As how would you fully know?🤔

Yes, that would be my worry too.

I just couldn't be friendly towards someone who'd do something so nasty and spiteful. We'd have nothing in common.

Probably never?

Why would you?

Yanbu. What a spiteful, highly damaging thing to do to someone and their children for no better reason than jealousy.

Your initial assumption was actually the common sense approach. You would think that 'innocent until proven guilty' would apply - but not under our punitive benefits system.

To the OP - I agree with everyone else. I actually don't think she should report even if she had some evidence. It's just not her business.

Ex-DWP here. No they won’t. It’s actually pretty unlikely they’ll even investigate it, they’re so short staffed. The pp who said her benefits were stopped for 7 weeks - that wouldn’t have been down to a fraud tip-off.

She is nasty and vindictive and not someone you want to be friends with. She is also stupid - if the woman has any benefits stopped or reduced her household will be poorer and the XH may feel he wants to help. Your friends children may feel the impact, even if it's just dad having less money to buy treats for them. If your friend thinks XH CMS is calculated wrongly or he isn't paying then that is a separate issue.

That's a good question. I would guess it's if someone told you they the told the DWP that they're living alone when you know full well they living with their partner full time.
or claiming JSA but working cash in hand for more than 16 hours per week. But yeah obviously you would have to know these details about that persons life pretty well. And it's unlikely someone who is on the fiddle would tell anyone unless they very stupid.

@Exworkcoach what would it be down to?
I had no problems for 2 years and then all of a sudden they started going on about savings they thought had stashed somewhere from the sale of a property.
I asked what made them all of a sudden question this and they said the only way was if someone told them.
Honestly I went through hell.

It's perfectly legal for her ex to stay at his girlfriend's and look after the children as much as they like, as long as he pays bills at his own address. It would only be benefit fraud if he were giving a regular income (e.g. paying her towards housekeeping) to his girlfriend and she didn't declare it.

Also, you can't just get single parent benefits — Labour phased those out and now you have to start looking for work when your youngest is tiny. There's no way she'll just be living on benefits without regular jobcentre meetings and proving she's spending 25-35 hours a week looking for work on top of looking after her children.

It sounds incredibly spiteful of your friend and I certainly wouldn't want to know someone who behaved in that way. I'd contact the benefits office and let them know it's a malicious hoax accusation as it could have very serious impacts indeed on the family concerned if they're unable to pay rent or buy food for an indefinite period of time.

It's very hard on single disabled people or mothers if a partner moves in but doesn't pay any rent/bills...yet the claimant could be prosecuted for claiming benefits nevertheless.

I agree. I think the system needs sorting.

I think she would have to have some evidence that the gf had moved bf in. If there is no evidence because it hasn't happened then DWP will soon lose interest and move on to someone else.

It's a pretty vicious thing to do, and spectacularly stupid.

If she loses her benefits, surely she's going to need more financial assistance from her partner, your friends ex - so he'll have LESS money to go around.

I think anything done out of spite is wrong, even if it’s true.

I don’t believe that benefit fraud is nobody’s business, and I do think that there are situations where reports are deserved, But she’s not reported her because she believes she’s committing benefit fraud, she’s reported her because she doesn’t like the fact her husband is in a relationship with her.

TBH it’s very much luck of the draw as to whether benefit fraud is even investigated. There are people on here who have maliciously been reported, and then there will be people who are reported, who are genuinely committing benefit fraud and the DWP do nothing.

I know someone who was committing benefit fraud. I didn’t report her, but someone I know did, and nothing ever came of it. And yes, with absolute certainty she was committing benefit fraud - was claiming carer’s allowance for her mother who lived in a different part of the country. The mother was complicit, the individual was registered on the electoral role at the mother’s house, was on the council tax bill and receiving council tax benefit, and was quite open about it. Nothing was ever done.

I'd find it petty and spiteful and vengeful. Not traits I'd like in a friend.

The whole system needs fixing. I know a couple of dads who pay nothing for their kids as they have their own businesses and don't declare their earnings correctly. I can see why your friend is annoyed but reporting fraud inaccurately won't help anyone.