Non religious school

[Chickenkeev]

My daughter is going into 6th class next year ( apologies, i don't know the British equivalent, but it's the last year before secondary). I'm lost as to whether i should hold out for the non religious secondary school which is the other side of the city, or just send her to one over this side that is religious. We went above and beyond to get her to non catholic primaries so it seems crap to throw that away but equally it wouldn't be great to foist a long commute on her. Help please!

I guess it depends on why you don't want her there. Also don't forget it may be an upheaval if she's got a friend/group of friends, where are they going.

I personally don't like religion at school other than theory, worship has no place in school

At secondary I would go with a choice that is close and hopefully has some familiar faces. Teens and early morning commutes are not a great mix in my experience.

Family of Educate together kids here and we only just got a school open before my eldest reached secondary so very fortunate.

His friends who went elsewhere were fine. Very little religious study mostly societal topics. Concentrated on respectful of all and nonreligious.

Been through the religious stuff myself and i really want to avoid it if at all possible. Also my school was shite, great for posh kids. Eff the rest of us. I really don't want her feeling less than that way iyswim.

ET here too. And i want to stay that way. But it's so far away for secondary that it's not fair on herself for my ideology. BUT my mam lives near the school, so theoretically she could drop in there for lunch or whatever.

It would be unusual to have only two in a city. Is there no local community (non faith) option? Are you likely, based on previous years, to get a place at the distant school - you can look at past years' allocations for your Local Authority and the criteria for each school which are often include children with Additional Needs/Looked After, Faith where relevant, siblings, distance. So being some way away is likely to mean your child is lower down the admissions order and may not be offered a place.

Don't send her there. Please. It sounds exactly like my secondary school, which was awful. My sister and I often talk about how traumatic is was. Which I know sounds very dramatic, but it really was. I would have much, much preferred the long commute over the absolute misery of being spoken down to, excluded, treated like shit for not being from the right part of town, being humiliated by the principal for being working class, being made to wash pots in the kitchen for a tiny transgression. I would run to the other side of town to school every day rather than endure that again.

That has cleared my mind somewhat, thank you. I'm sorry for what you went through, it sounds awful.

Have you visited the school? What is its religious ethos? It may be entirely different to your own school years ago. Assuming you’re in a Catholic country and so schools are Catholic by “default” rather than by exception? If so then a decent proportion of the other children are likely to be from fairly / completely irreligious families and there won’t be as great an emphasis on religion as you might expect. It’s definitely worth finding out as much as you can about the school before deciding; apart from the long journey to and from, don’t underestimate how important it is to children to have local friends rather than have few opportunities to see friends outside of school.

In Ireland so non faith schools are v rare. My daughter would have priority in my old school but i hate it and don't want her going there. So we're left with very few options.

@Chickenkeev I would have thought this was a no-brainer for you?

On another thread you made a great show of how much you hated religion, especially the Catholic Church and all it stood for.

So why would you want to send your daughter to a school run by an 'institution' you despise?

How could you interact fully with teaching staff (who will probably be Catholics) when you hate these people, and their belief system in a visceral way?

Maybe you should give her the longer commute and then you can be sure that she isn't getting "brainwashed"?

And like others I find it hard to believe that those are the only 2 choices you have.

Sorry, I think I have somewhat taken over your thread with my own issues 😬 it was rough though, if you weren't from the right part of town you were treated like shit on the shoe of most teachers. I had one lovely teacher, he was the only bright spot

I haven't been back tbh. When i was there it was rich and catholic. We are neither. And i feel very strongly about the ET ethos. But my feelings can't go before my daughter's wellbeing so i might need to suck it up. Getting quite vexxed about it now tbh, it flies in!

Not at all 😍

I would opt for ET over a Catholic school any day of the week.

Thank you 😍

Me too. But it's ages away so making her day really long. I'm honestly flummoxed.

How long of a journey? My cousins kids went to an ET about a 25 minute drive away, and absolutely thrived there. For them, it was absolutely worth the travel

You have the right to remove her from collective worship and/or RE. Although you/she may not want to be seen as different.

Why so nasty? I'm weighing up my personal views vs the needs of my child. Not all that difficult to understand. Her needs have to come first at the end of the day.

@Friedgreentomatoestoo in Ireland there is literally no choice, Catholic, so called multi denomination which has crusfix everywhere etc and Educate Together which is multi denomination. There are no non religious school options.

I am one of very few people who have the "luxury" of educating my children in a multi denomination ethos. It is an option all children should have.

And you may have missed the entire point of the thread, but there is very little choice. I am asking what's best for my child, i'm not asking about the church. My feelings on them are clear.

@Chickenkeev you don't have to justify your feelings. Th absolute horrendous nonsense I had through Catholic secondary lasts a lifetime.

I moved jobs, lived in a tiny apartment to secure them the education option. I understand how much it matters.

I read research that children who attend ET and then attend non ET secondary, struggle at the start to adjust but they come to the top in the senior cycle where all of their ET skills come forward. Their ability to step up advocate and value their input and their ability to stand up and be counted.

I'm not being 'nasty' just reminding you of what you said about the Catholic Church on another thread.

"I absolutely hate the institution and a good few of the people who align themselves to it's teachings" So you'll hate some of/all the staff at the Catholic School where you want to send your daughter??

If your child's need's come first educationally then why send her to a Catholic School when you don't trust them to educate her properly?

You did say on another thread "How can religious schools adequately teach subjects like history, science and even art, all would be educating from a highly biased viewpoint"

So I don't get why, for you and your biased mindset, a Catholic School is even in the mix ??

I have to say, i love the ET ethos, we've been in two of them and they've been great. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Not all Catholic schools are the same, you need to visit and find out more.