To want DH to change his lifestyle

[Ungratefulbastard]

Firstly, I know this is tone-deaf in the current economic climate (see username) so feel free to tell me I'm an arsehole.

Secondly, it's entirely a problem of my making. My DH hasn't changed, I have.

Before I met DH 15 years ago I lived quite a simple life: not much money, lots of time outdoors, not many possessions.

Then I met DH, who was a bit wealthier and very generous. I must admit my head was turned by his lifestyle and I enjoyed the nice restaurants, shopping trips etc.

We married, had children (now aged 8 and 6), our lifestyle stayed the same, and now our overconsumption is hurting our health and the environment.

We're all overweight (except DS6), we do no sport, and we live in a big house crammed full of stuff that is largely toys discarded by the children (DH gets them new stuff most Saturdays).

I've tried talking to DH about it and he understands the issue in principle but his habits are very deeply entrenched and he doesn't honestly see any particular problem with the way we live.

Meanwhile I'm fat, unfit, and seem to spend all my time coercing my family into eating healthily or maybe going for a walk (not around the shops) while my husband can't resist getting the kids extra snacks and fast food, taking them to the cinema etc. And what makes it worse is that at least a couple of times a week I just run out of resolve and end up being as bad as my husband. I won't say I'm unhappy, but I could be a lot happier.

The only thing I can think to do is just strengthen my resolve, try to keep the kids relatively healthy and the consumption to a minimum, and accept there's nothing I can do to change DH (he is dealing with significant overweight which is starting to hurt his health).

If anyone has ideas or has been through this I'd really appreciate your messages. Thanks.

Oh this thread has made me chuckle I went to bed last night zero responses, come back tonight 177 calling me overweight and jealous, telling me I should leave my vile gluttonous husband who is a different social class to me 🤣 as he eats too much at Christmas.

In my OP I had said I had just started my period, I’m peri-menopausal periods are awful, I was having stomach cramps and I knew tomorrow (today) I would wake up sore with heavy heavy bleeding so I was hating the world. Then DH comes upstairs complaining of stomach pains as he’s been eating all the leftovers and Christmas food. He’s also very windy which was annoying me.

I always buy and make too much food, it’s part of Christmas, I have four teenagers and a DH who eats loads as he’s a long distance runner and daily gym goer. We also had family up and I’m also paranoid about running out of food so always overbuy. I wasn’t planning to use the leftovers I had told everyone, everything was fair game.

I’m not overweight and we are both the same social class 😃

Also my DH doesn’t overeat all the time, just now and again but especially at Christmas. Come January he will be clean eating, no alcohol, biscuits, cakes body is a temple so he can lose his Christmas weight, he was at the gym at 7am this morning farty bum and all!

Firstly, sorry OP I posted on your thread instead of mine

Do you have a dog? Dogs are great dog kids the age of yours for getting old as they need daily walks. When mine were that age weekends were spent finding new parks to explore.

if a dogs not an option then going for walks together or trying to get the DC (and yourselves into a new hobby) I know mine were into loads at those ages.

Start small, I’m trying to declutter the house but by bit I’m doing the throw one thing out everyday (or sell, give away etc) if I buy something new I have to throw away something in its place. So by next year I’ll have 365 less items. That’s the plan anyway.

We’re concentrating on experiences and time together rather than stuff, could you’re DH not focus on that, taking them places as a family instead of buying the stuff