Mainstream or special school for ASD child?

[whichdirection]

My son is 3 & a half and we are awaiting a formal ASD diagnosis - it has been suggested that he is at the what was formerly known as Asperger’s end of the spectrum (sorry I have no idea what any of the correct terms are, still learning, trying my best not to offend anyone) with probable ADHD.
To summarise he is very bright particularly around numbers and letters, very loving and affectionate, loves being around other people but has real social communication issues so although he is verbal and able to answer closed questions and make statements, he cannot maintain back and forth conversations. He struggles to follow instructions and is very impulsive. I am still trying desperately to toilet train him but seem to be getting absolutely nowhere with it. No issues as yet with noise/lights/sensory issues. He can have huge meltdowns when tired or when something triggers him.
He is due to start school next year. The EHCP request has already been submitted, obviously yet to have the assessment and have it all agreed and ironed out. My question is, is
anyone with ASD experience able to advise whether mainstream or specialist school provision is most suitable for a child who presents as my son does? SEN Advisor who visited him said he is very bright and would ideally go to mainstream but his reduced attention span/ability to sit still etc means she isn’t sure. He has a year to go until school but that will go fast and obviously not actually that long until I need to start making applications.
Any advice or pointers gratefully received.
I am in such a low place with all of this at the moment. Worrying how life will be for him and desperately don’t want to make the wrong decision for him.

l agree with @CoffeeWithCheese . The LAs knowingly act illegally and hope most people won’t realise. Make use of IPSEA and SOS!SEN for legal advice to get the best for your child.

My DS is in a ASN school the children who attend cannot hold sentences with you etc, need much more care than kids in Mainstream schools.

My DD is in her 4th year of primary and is doing great.

Both are Austistic as am I and it is dependent on your child's needs where they would be best to go. As an Austistic Child I never needed support etc in school, I'm glad I was not placed in a school just due to being Autistic. It would have been at a disadvantage to me.

SEN school without a doubt! Every SEN school my ds went to was head and shoulders above mainstream.

There isnt a special fund but if a private school is named in an ehcp the LA will fund it. To get it named would involve a lot of evidence about why the state maintained and special schools could not provide an adequete education and how the school you needed named would be the closest one to meet needs.

So its very dependent on the needs and provisions outlined in the ehcp snd whst the ed psych says about cohorts

Comments like this really don’t help anyone.

not all schools are made the same. Not all children are made the same. Therefore the same won’t work for all children with autism.

for ds putting him in any of the local specialist options would have been cruel because they couldn’t meet his needs.

I feel the same but about Special School. For us it was a painful demoralising education and confide destroying disaster.

Completly.

sadly thé system relies heavily on parents and schools taking the word of the Local Authority as gospel. This means many young people who have parents who for whatever reason aren’t capable of advocating and fighting the system get left behind. That is in no way a dig at any parents but at the barriers put up by the system.

you have to become an expert in the law and be willing to shout and scream until you get what your child needs

you may find that a local mainstream independent is the nearest suitable school and get the funded via the EHCP.

or you may find that your local independent school won't allow a child with an EHCP anywhere near them.

What does COIN stand for ?

So hard to say. My son wasn't diagnosed until he was 8 but he struggled in primary until year 6 then he hit his stride and left secondary with a big group of friends and his GCSEs look like they will be really good grades. He had a good time at mainstream secondary with pretty much no need for help from the SEN team. Special school was not needed and I think it would have held him back as the ones I saw didn't allow them to do more than a certain amount of GCSEs.

I must say we tried 3 local, small, ‘nurturing’ mainstream private schools for our son and all of them turned him down. It was quite hilarious when they said they didn’t think he would cope with their busy campus (they have 250 kids from reception to year 11!!) and moving from room to room for different lessons - no, but he should be fine in the 8-form entry state mainstream secondary where the number of kids in his class is the same as the number in your entire school!!! I know this private school didn’t have to take my son (despite selling themselves as catering for SEN) but don’t patronise me by saying it’s because he couldn’t cope there when the alternative is 4 times bigger!

I think COIN stands for COmmunication and INteraction.

It would be helpful if there was just one name for resource base/ ARP/ ARC/ ARB/ unit/ centre/ COIN.... It doesn't help parents looking for these settings that they are all called different things.

Interesting, I would have said the opposite: a special school first and then a transfer to mainstream as/when it seems appropriate. Secondary schools are generally far more a
structured and calm than primary and quite a few bright children with asd do well in them, esp if their ssd is generally we supported. Certainly my son survived primary but is thriving at secondary.

You are extremely unlikely to get a place in a SEN school unless your child has not coped in mainstream. I think you maybe should check out your local schools and ask them about how they meet the needs of autistic children

You cannot generalise its very child dependent as its such s huge spectrum
My sin has severe autism and learning disabilities and has always gone to.a soecial.school, but many children with autism do well in mainstream depending on their needs
And tbh,if the child us academically able it would be a fight to get them into specialist provision.

I agree. With the right school and support if required mainstream works absolutely fine.

Mine are thriving in mainstream. Special schools often don't provide the range of GCSEs that more academic kids need.

I would start at MS but very closely monitor how he is coping. It's possible he will cope during the day but the stress comes out at home. If you feel it's not working move him sooner than later

Hi, I know this thread is old but I’m just wondering how it turned out for you. I’m in the exact same position with DS now. He’s due to start reception next September and I’m struggling to know what to do for the best. I’m waiting for a decision on a ehcp

Beware of schools making promises about SEN provision, my ds was let down by both his primary & secondary schools. He wasn't diagnosed ASD until he was 9, I took his diagnosis report into his primary school & handed it to the SENCO who ripped it up in front of me & said he didn't need any additional help, I involved the Autism team at the Education Office but even she said that they just didn't get it about his difficulties, this was an outstanding school with a glossy prospectus that bragged about their excellent SEN support programme. When it came to secondary school, the one we were allocated had a department where children with SEN could access additional help, do lessons in smaller groups, spend time to help with sensory overload, it looked very good but in reality unless a child couldn't read or write or was in danger of being excluded they weren't able to access it, ds had no help & ended up being a school refuser & had to have a year under a psychologist & therapy to relieve the trauma he had gone through. It's taken him having 3 years away from education for him to heal before he was strong enough to make the decision to do a foundation year towards a degree, he started today & came out buzzing, he loves it & has so much support from the university, he can still get lectures if he is overloaded online, he has a personal tutor who specialises in Autism & his Disabled Students Allowance has helped so much by providing equipment & software to make things easier for him, he suffers from ME/CFS & Hypotonia as well & the fact he gets a taxi allowance means on his longest day he can get a taxi to & from university really helps.

Yep. Almost no autistic child thrives in mainstream in 2024, particularly in KS2 and definitely by secondary.

@Nat6999 I am so sorry that happened.

I'm delighted to hear university is working out though. Good for him!

@whichdirection hey 👋🏻 how are things now for you? Just wondering how you are getting on x

I agree, i sent DS to a private SS that's highly rated on here for 1 year and tbh they treated him like a potato. It was AWFUL.

MS is going MUCH better, my ideal would be a school for high achieving kids with ADHD but who aren't disruptive. Im keeping the option of a SEN friendly private school in my back pocket if MS breaks down.

I'd consider a private school who could meet his needs if that were possible.

Where I live 43% of Primary school children have a Additional Support Need. They'd need a Stage Plan ( varying levels) in school.
He absolutely would not even be considered for a Specialist Unit. The presumption of Mainstream would be his option and as a teacher I would have thought so too.
It sounds like you have the opportunity to explore some alternates, but if his needs are not complex , then I'd go Mainstream.

I'm in the same position and my son sounds very similar to my son to the point where I had to read the poster and date to make sure I hadn't posted it and forgot we're going to go with a specialist autism unit in a mainstream, even though he is academically quite advanced, his communication is definitely delayed/different, and I worry that he simply won't access the education in a large mainstream class (even if he is far away capable intellectually).