Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband gone out for drinks after work, battery on mobile ran out at 7.30 pissed off

79 replies

chocolateanddietcoke · 28/07/2023 23:44

Just pissed off about it

I've had our son 7am - bed and he's already woken up twice

It's my last day of mat leave, son vomited a few times in the day and a bit under the weather

I knew he was going out but just think it's pretty shitty to be out of contact when we have an 8 month old baby whose unwell. Not sure how he'll get home without battery now as public transport is coming up to stopping where we live at this time.

Why do men get to opt in and out of parenting?

Don't even want to see him when he gets back (promised owildnt be late as my parents over tomorrow for the weekend)

Fed up

Aibu

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 28/07/2023 23:45

YANBU. He sounds useless. Sorry OP.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/07/2023 23:46

I'm guessing he has form for being selfish and useless.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 28/07/2023 23:50

Is this the first time?

I know I've accidentally let my phone battery die even when I shouldn't have before now, ended up using it more for something that drained the battery or not noticed it wasn't charging etc.

Presumably he's with other people who could arrange a taxi if need be?

But pushing midnight is a bit much if he said he wasn't staying out late!

Merryoldgoat · 28/07/2023 23:58

Decent men don’t want to opt in and out of parenting.

CallieQ · 29/07/2023 00:07

Come on... he's out for the eve

Ladyj84 · 29/07/2023 00:13

Are you serious you know he's out for the evening and agreed yet your now moaning. If my hubby goes out I know to leave him alone unless something real bad came up. He is allowed to enjoy himself now and then also since we have 3 young ones

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/07/2023 00:14

What's wrong with a parent having a random night out with friends? Phones run out of battery, it happens.

Unless it's a common thing that he regularly goes out on the piss til the early hours and then can't parent the next day?

RootbeerLolly · 29/07/2023 01:58

I'd not be annoyed tbh unless a genuine emergency arose.

Zanatdy · 29/07/2023 03:25

It’s one night out, I think you’re exaggerating

Divebar2021 · 29/07/2023 03:28

How is he opting out of parenting? It’s one night.

Furries · 29/07/2023 03:31

Yeah “one night” might generally not be bad.

But if child is under the weather and it’s OP’s last night/weekend of maternity leave, then it really is a bit (lot) shit.

Hungryfrogs23 · 29/07/2023 03:32

I disagree with most of the above. You have a poorly child, you made an agreement yes but one that included "I wont stay out late" and its now pushing midnight and your husband is completely non contactable. That's unacceptable. Fair enough, phones die. But then go home or message from a friends phone. Or actually stick to what was agreed in the first place. But don't be a disrespectful arse and stay out all night when you know your other half is at home dealing with a poorly child and you have no way of checking in with them. Yes, he should be allowed to relax/go out with friends but not when that means completely disregarding agreed plans, and being unable to be contacted when she's been dealing with a poorly baby for 17 hours straight. As a PP said, he shouldn't WANT to check out. I'm absolutely sure if the OP was due to be out tonight she either wouldn't have gone or would have been checking in asking about how the baby was and making sure he was OK. Not just blindly going "fuck it" when the phone runs out and staying out way past the agreed time anyway.

2chocolateoranges · 29/07/2023 03:35

If it’s a one off then I don’t see the problem. We are all entitled to a night out once in a while.

However If it’s a regular occurrence then things need to change.

HappiDaze · 29/07/2023 03:43

He's a grown man who has gone out and he told you about it

Furries · 29/07/2023 04:14

Hmm, thinking all the men are turning up now!

electriclight · 29/07/2023 04:36

I feel that parents are allowed to go out with friends after work sometimes. I certainly do. I'd be annoyed if dp was angry when I got home because my battery died.

Q2C4 · 29/07/2023 04:43

HappiDaze · 29/07/2023 03:43

He's a grown man who has gone out and he told you about it

Can OP do the same when it's her turn for a night off?
An agreed night out is one thing.

Going out for longer than agreed when your child is sick & whilst being uncontactable is another.

spitefulandbadgrammar · 29/07/2023 04:46

My phone battery dies all the time, I’d be annoyed if someone were annoyed at me for it.

However I’d be annoyed at the broken “wouldn’t be late” promise and presumably he’s going to be useless tomorrow when your parents arrive, and you’ll be a zombie since the baby isn’t sleeping as unwell. So YANBU to be pissed off.

When they wake up in the evening and you’ve done the whole day shift as well it does feel a bit like you’re on call 24/7, but that’s parenting sometimes. Presumably you’ve got the opportunity to go out in the evening too on other nights, though? And you wouldn’t call that “opting out”?

Southoftheriver32 · 29/07/2023 05:00

It sounds like this isn’t the first time it’s happened. What a catch…

Original poster
chocolateanddietcoke · 29/07/2023 07:17

Update - got back at 1

Argument was that DS hadn't been sick again so what was the problem?

Didn't get to sleep finally until 2 as DP woke DS when he got in.

Son woke at 6am today so I've had 4 hours sleep. Brought him downstairs and 5 mins later he's diarrhoea shit all over the living room floor and his playmat

DH did get up but didn't argue when I said go back to bed. I know he'll be shit with my parents who we see every 6 weeks if he's knackered. Can't tidy the guest room as he's asleep in it at the mo (I kicked him out to co sleep)

I know he'll get up and tidy the guest room and clean the bathroom

But now I'm knackered all day and no one cares it feels like

Just feel taken for granted

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolateanddietcoke · 29/07/2023 07:19

I BF son so I haven't actually gone out for longer than 3 hours at a time. I've left him for 3 times over in total.

DH said he's not been out since DS has been born...... which is right except the 2 weeekend stag dos he went on 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Sirzy · 29/07/2023 07:22

Surely if baby has D and V your cancelling your visitors anyway?

have a chilled out day and relax

MadamWhiteleigh · 29/07/2023 07:27

It doesn’t seem like he goes out that much so I’d let this one pass. The fact you’ve not left your DS for than three hours at a time doesn’t mean he should have to do the same.

londonrach · 29/07/2023 07:28

If baby has d and v I'd cancel your parents and have a Relaxing day. Hope son is better soon. Re dh you know he had a night out. When your night out happened. The phone thing is a problem that might be out of his control..my DH phone dies after half a day now despite him charging it.

WandaWonder · 29/07/2023 07:30

Dh and I go out when we want as long as we have checked with the other, op if you choose to go out and he has a problem that is unfair but you are both adults and can do your own thing

And no to anyone concerned this does not make me a man for not saying 'omg he went out you need to have him arrested and leave him' just a female adult who does not have an 'all me are evil' badge

Swipe left for the next trending thread