Historic abuse

[torgirl]

A few weeks ago I told both my sisters that I had been sexually abused by our father as a child. I'm 43 and they are the first people I've told. I was expecting shock but also support and kindness as we are close. They have both told me they don't believe me and I am crazy. I just don't know what to do, really wasn't expecting this and I feel utterly heartbroken and betrayed. My mother died when I was young and am single so they are my only family. Any advice?

First of all, I’m incredibly sorry that this happened to you.

I think you need to understand the impact that news like that would have, though. If they were not abused by your father, and have gone through life thinking of him as a perfectly ordinary dad, being told that he was actually a paedophile is going to be a massive, massive shock to them and they are not going to want to believe it. They’re probably in denial because it seems so inconceivable to them. Or, if they were also abused by him and have never talked about it to each other or anyone else, they may be horrified at the idea of having to face up to what happened to them.

I completely understand why you’re heartbroken - I think anyone would be - and you have all my sympathy. But this is such a huge and devastating thing to have to confront that I think it may take your sisters a while to come to terms with it and accept it.

Give them time, they need to get their heads around what you've told them. Unfortunately they will either believe you or they won't, you have no control over that, all you can control is your decisions and your choices.

Have you considered seeking some talking therapy to help you work through it all? Apologies if you already are but if not then I really recommend it as it can help enormously.