DH assumes all lost items are my fault.

[Curtainswithpompoms]

I’ve just arrived on holiday and have snapped at DH because for the 50 billionth time, he has implied that his missing shoe is my fault.

Every time he can’t find something, he really tensely asks me where it is as though I am the knower of all items in our shared world. Today saying, “I put it in the boot but you moved the bags further forward and now it’s missing.”

Not only this, but he gets really irritable when he can’t find something immediately and it infuriates me that there’s always an accusatory tone when he asks where the lost thing is.

AIBU to snap at him on day 1 of our family holiday and tell him I’m sick of his accusations?

(within my snapping included a swipe from me about maybe if he actually helped to tidy up then he would know where things are).

DD asleep and DH currently asleep at 15:42.

Sometimes I despair of being married because it seems it means putting up with shit like this. Walking on eggshells and accommodating everyone’s various dispositions.

Is a more enlightened way of responding that anyone can suggest!?

Mine does this too.

It's annoying too how it is never his fault when he cant get some gadget or appliance to work, either. One half-hearted attempt, and he starts angrily shouting, " This bloody thing doesnt work. There's something wrong with it. It's rubbish!" etc.
What he actually means is, "I don't know how to use this".
Nine times out of ten, whatever it is will work perfectly for me when I go over to check it, but all I get then are more muttered obscenities under his breath about " the bloody thing".
He could have saved us both all the stress if he could just bothered to read the fecking instructions!

I also just say no.

Internet algorithms work, I read this thread, went on tiktok and this was the first video vm.tiktok.com/ZGJb2VfBX/

😂😂😂

Great tiktok 😂

YABVVVU for assaulting your DH

I get the annoyance though, my 8yr old does the accusatory tone whenever ANYTHING annoys her, even if she's annoyed because it's raining! 🙄 I absolutely would not ever resort to violence though..

I can only assume that you are interpreting this as a physical swipe:

within my snapping included a swipe from me about maybe if he actually helped to tidy up then he would know where things are

It was a verbal swipe, a comment. She didn't hit him.

This seemed appropriate: https://www.facebook.com/reel/967338027945174?s=chYV2B&fs=e.

I feel your pain though, OP. I too am the keeper and mover of all things in our house, despite all evidence to the contrary. Just enjoy the holiday with your DD and ignore any sulking.

Awesome

Lmao. Good one!

That TikTok is genius.

I am married to one of these. He won’t even look around the room before he asks me where something is. If he changes the baby’s nappy he takes her clothes off, nappy off then will ask me where the wipes are, as if it’s a surprise to him that he needed some and they weren’t magically next to him. He won’t even glance around the room to see if he can find them before he asks me. I just say I don’t know every time now. Fed up of being used as a pair of eyes.

Amen to that

My OH never blames me for losing his stuff but he does always ask me to help find whatever it is. Men's brains just aren't programmed to find stuff unless it's directly in their line of sight 😂

Brilliant! 😂

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1072507244193722?s=yWDuG2&fs=e

Someone(woman) needs to patent this 😂

I don't play "I can't find my..." any more.

Because my husband starts it immediately, and refuses to accept my simple suggestions as impossible to follow.

I've had to stand up to point at something under his nose once too many, and now I just won't join in.

(I do have witchy powers when it comes to finding things too - I can deduct where something is whilst sitting still - so he's missing out by making me sick of his shit)

Yes my life has become significantly less stressful as I just answer any 'Where is my x y z.' with 'I don't know' - unless I do know as I'm not a complete dick.

Also, how does this work? - If I'd have to google to find out, then he can google it himself.