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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think America Ferrera’s speech in Barbie isn’t that great?

180 replies

Prrambulate · 28/07/2023 13:40

BARBIE SPOILERS BELOW

Everyone seems to be raving about this moment in the Barbie movie - possibly worthy of an Oscar nomination, and a quintessential characterisation of what it’s like to be a women in modern society.

I thought it was lacklustre. There are parts of it that ring true - the incessant need to be likeable - but they’re kind of cliched. And other parts I just don’t agree with (love your kids but don’t talk about them all time, ie retain a semblance of identity beyond motherhood. Isn’t that a good thing? And who’s saying we always have to be grateful? I feel there’s much more collective understanding now about the challenges of being a woman and/or mother…)

*

Speech:

”It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.

But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line.

It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.”

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AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 31/07/2023 21:47

user9630721458 · 31/07/2023 21:34

@AngryGreasedSantaCatcus Yes, I think we do care about the same things. I accept that the speech is meaningful and needed, as so many seem to think so. I am still rather dismayed that this is a lightbulb moment for women. I mean we had women like the Suffragettes, the Greenham Common women, Riot Girrl, Spare Rib. Women like Germaine Greer, Simone de Beauvoir, Mary Wollstonecraft ...any number of non conforming, rebellious women who bucked the trend and went against everything society had brought them up to believe in. Not saying I agree with all those women did, but they certainly didn't believe they 'had to' be any way but the way they chose to live. I don't understand how all their struggles have been forgotten, and women feel so pressured by conforming to expectations now. I still don't know where these expectations are coming from, either. Never mind, I suppose women's liberation still has a long way to go!

I think it can be a generational thing too. For A lot of us that are older, have lived ,read,heard ,witnessed a bit it's nothing new so we kinda just nod along with it, rather than real lightbulb moment. For younger women it is/can be a bit of both , particularly confirmation that it is a real thing. For tweens/teens, very young women is more of a warning/keep an eye out for this bs and don't fall for it(if they haven't experienced it yet) or same as my previous point.

Tbh, while I enjoy the discussion and I have definitely taken your points into consideration (even if it might've not seemed like that) the truth is that probably it(the movie/speech) is not that deep.

user9630721458 · 31/07/2023 22:04

@AngryGreasedSantaCatcus I can see that age makes a difference in terms of ideas people might encounter. I took your points on board also, but yes - I could be overthinking the movie, which is mainly for entertainment.

sorrynotathome · 01/08/2023 07:16

littlestrawberryhat · 28/07/2023 14:28

The sentiment is great but it’s all be said and done before, and it sort of cringed me out a little. I felt that way about the movie as a whole. A little bit wishy washy. But agree if it gets younger women thinking about it then that’s fab. I think the movie thinks it’s cleverer than it actually is. Also America Ferreira is classically beautiful and so was the actress who played her daughter, I’d love to see actual facially average looking women on screen but it’s that one step too far even for Greta gerwig.

Agreed. America Ferreira also played the title role in “Ugly Betty” 🙄 I suspect that Ordinary Barbie would also be anything but ordinary.

Willmafrockfit · 01/08/2023 07:34

i thought it might get a round of applause in my cinema showing.
i had heard it before of course, but i thought other's might applaud it

Dishwashersaurous · 05/08/2023 14:49

My tween thought it was really depressing because it had never occurred to her that being a woman is any more difficult than being a man.

Which is brilliant because she and all her friends think they can do anything, rightly so.

But a reminder of the need to always be alert and to continue to strive is no bad thing

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