AIBU to think this car park should ONLY be for mothers?

[HuwsLineIsItAnyway]

Our local big hospital has a maternity unit.

There is one small car park in immediate proximity to the maternity unit. No other departments have an entrance from this car park.

There are three large car parks on site but all are either on the other side of the hospital or the next closest to the maternity unit means climbing a massive hill to the Mat unit.
Every single time I've been here - both in this pregnancy and my previous ones - the small car park is chock full of visiting relatives, leaving a number of heavily pregnant and postpartum mums to either have to navigate the entire hospital or tackle the hill.

I view it the same way I view dads sitting in the waiting rooms and leaving pregnant women to stand.

It would be so easy to adapt the existing barriers to scan a pass (they scan staff badges) given to expectant mums.
I'm just being grumpy and sore and refluxy but AIBU to think it?

Yes it matters, it's the thin end of the wedge.

A female born non binary person is still a woman. She doesn't get to rename the whole group to suit her preferences. She can call herself whatever she likes but she doesn't get to change my labels.

We have a similar car park outside our maternity unit. Except that it has a strict 30 mins time limit on it. It's purely for pregnant/labouring women to be dropped off and taken to the ward.
It's tightly regulated and it works well.

Has anyone yet said that they climbed the Himalayas whilst pregnant, and with twin toddlers on their back?

Pregnancy isn't a disability, but my experience of it is that it's pretty horrendous and I couldn't have walked up a hill while heavily pregnant.

I suspect that a lot of the people who park outside the maternity bit do so simply because they cba to park anywhere else. So I wouldn't be opposed to the OP's suggestion, really.

I was also riled by "pregnant person".

One of our hospitals has several car parks all of which are pay and display. The one car park which is free of charge is for the cancer unit which is right at the back of the hospital down a hill. People have now realised this and park there leaving no room for cancer patients to park. Now that pisses me off.

But the main problem there is not so much non-cancer patients using the free parking (which I agree they shouldn't do), but the fact that hospitals charge for parking at all. Hospital parking charges are widely used to sidestep the crucial 'free at the point of use' principle of the NHS.

People may not have cancer, but they may have very little money and/or have to attend frequently. If somebody's only workable solution is to drive themselves to the hospital and attend a course of 15 appointments taking 1h15m each (all in), in our local hospital (small, regional, so probably much cheaper than big city hospitals), that would cost them £60. Also bearing in mind that somebody with illnesses and long-standing health conditions are far more likely to have significantly lower earning potential.

We all know the national outrage there would be if the receptionist in the clinic told them to hand over £60 before they could start the course of treatment in the 'free at the point of use' NHS; but if it's a machine doing it, just before you get to the building itself, there's absolutely no difference at all.

But they are not asking you to change your labels

people just use “people” to include those that don’t use woman so really …….

“Women who are pregnant and people who are biologically female but do not use “woman” who are also pregnant”

I mean “people” is just easier and encompasses it all doesn’t it. Or do you not class yourself as a person?

it’s just like saying “people from Australia” or “people who like pies”

Yes we have this it works really well.

I had to have someone drive me to all my appointments in late pregnancy as the spaces were so narrow I couldn't actually get out of the car when parked up. I had no issues with mobility or fitness, I was just enormous. Parking spaces at hospitals are never large enough for pregnant women or people with many other issues.

“Women who are pregnant and people who are biologically female but do not use “woman” who are also pregnant”

Why don't we just go the whole hog and start referring to 'pregnant mammals' or 'animated incubators'?

YABU it would never occur to me that the parking at the maternity unit was not also for people visiting the maternity unit.

I mean “people” is just easier and encompasses it all doesn’t it. Or do you not class yourself as a person? It’s just like saying “people from Australia” or “people who like pies"

No it's not the same at all. "People from Australia" could refer to women or men. Only women (and girls) can get pregnant. It might seem trivial to you but if we allow this to go unchallenged we're allowing the erasure of women as a class of people.

But not all ‘people’ are women, and only women can be childbearing.

I wouldn’t approve of people with prostates either. It’s men. Why are some people so afraid to use men/women. What do you think will happen?!

My local hospital put the maternity patients and the gynae oncology patients in the same car park and waiting room.

Imagine waiting hours for an overrunning clinic to find out if you have cancer, having had an open surgery hysterectomy 8 weeks prior, surrounded by bumps and toddlers running about. Then being glared at, the entire time, for taking up a seat whilst not pregnant.

That’s the kind of scenario in which two groups should’ve been separated. I’d have given anything for segregation that day.

I realise that your scenario probably isn’t this one but neither did any of those women giving me filthy looks that day. I still think about it a lot - probably one of the worst days of my life.

I remember when I was in labour we struggled to find a parking space near the unit and I am staff! I think we parked where we shouldn't in the end. The provision is q bad in my opinion.

If we are all going down the “only women can be pregnant” route

female is the grammatically correct way really which indicates biological sex. So “only females can get pregnant” is scientifically correct.

however woman is a more social/spiritual (I.e “the whole person” construct so really women can only get pregnant is not correct because many people may not see themselves as a woman but can still get pregnant.

just if we were to be pedantic 😉

it does actually baffle me sometimes that people who loudly demand respect for themselves/their group, whoever they are, seem to be the ones who also show little regard for different groups who also are trying to be fairly treated. It’s literally one word that people aren’t even necessarily asking you to use all the time. Just trying to be empathetic to others in a borderline group

That's awful @fitzwilliamdarcy , I'm so sorry.

@fitzwilliamdarcy thats awful, I was in a similar position in my local hospital and I would say that was also one of the worst days of my life. I really hope however things have turned out, they are good 💚

Sigh.

Woman = adult human female. Sex is not a social construct. Gender is a social construct. Just if we're being pedantic.

Only women can get pregnant, that is a fact.

Other people can think themselves a woman if they wish, it doesn't make them one. I can consider myself a giraffe if I wish, doesn't mean I could give birth to a baby giraffe.

Sigh

you can lead a horse to the etymological water but

I’m not saying I identify as a horse, just to be clear

Would there be separate sections for "Planned Pregnancy" and "Accidental Pregnancy" with the latter having a longer walk?

however woman is a more social/spiritual

@HeFellOffaDivingBoardinGuernsey van you tell me what a social or spiritual woman looks like please?

OP, an option to put to the hospital (do they have a patient group you can join?) would be to have patients in the hospital to have reduced parking and visitors paying full whack (especially in the maternity car park). Our hospital does that, although the carpark is privately run with a little kiosk desk by the payment machines, so you can take your appointment letter or stamped ticket to prove you were there as a patient. Pregnant/postpartum women or those in labour do often have mobility issues, and most visitors will not, so I do agree that it would be preferable to encourage more thought from visitors. Signs might help guilt trip some visitors too (i.e. Patients only - visitors continue to main carpark). My local hospital has ridiculously tight spaces in all their carparks, which is a nightmare when heavily pregnant/with young children/elderly/injured. However, space is at a premium and public transport a bit rubbish, so I guess needs must.

Well there is also pregnant and pregnant. My DH had to drop me at the end of a long walkway down the outside of the hospital while he went off to find parking - longest walk of my life. Heavily, heavily having contractions as I tried to walk down in, then had a couple in front of everybody in the lift up to the labour ward, then had the baby very shortly after getting up there - DH did manage to join me in time for the actual birth, just - but don't think I was there more than about 10-15 minutes if that, and he can't have been there more than five before DC3. I definitely could have done with somewhere closer for us to park (and for me to be dropped). Admittedly not everybody tends towards precipitous labour

however woman is a more social/spiritual (I.e “the whole person” construct

I genuinely don't understand what you mean by this.

Yes but @SnowSnows 's point is that this will be the same for loads of other patients attending the hospital for a huge variety of reasons. There should be set down areas for patients unable to walk (including labouring women), most hospitals do have them, really poor if yours doesn't.