AIBU to think this car park should ONLY be for mothers?

[HuwsLineIsItAnyway]

Our local big hospital has a maternity unit.

There is one small car park in immediate proximity to the maternity unit. No other departments have an entrance from this car park.

There are three large car parks on site but all are either on the other side of the hospital or the next closest to the maternity unit means climbing a massive hill to the Mat unit.
Every single time I've been here - both in this pregnancy and my previous ones - the small car park is chock full of visiting relatives, leaving a number of heavily pregnant and postpartum mums to either have to navigate the entire hospital or tackle the hill.

I view it the same way I view dads sitting in the waiting rooms and leaving pregnant women to stand.

It would be so easy to adapt the existing barriers to scan a pass (they scan staff badges) given to expectant mums.
I'm just being grumpy and sore and refluxy but AIBU to think it?

Omg stop 😂

hospitals are full of staff, visiting relatives, people going through treatment etc that all need to park.

I had to go to a maternity hospital for a D&C, my granny had to go for gynaecology treatment. Should we not be allowed to park there because we aren’t pregnant or postpartum? Should the midwives that work there have to park somewhere else and struggle up a hill after a 13 hour shift? Should my husband not have parked then when he was visiting our baby in NICU/his wife in ICU?

catch yourself on

all women are people, not all people are women... the term 'pregnant people' is still correct as it encompasses all women.

Its like saying 'Pregnant Human', you might think it sounds funny but its still correct.

This is a daft suggestion, and I expect you know it.

Rant away, though. Some (most) parts of pregnancy are dog shit.

I commute nigh-on daily on the tube and am fully pregnant. I’m extremely fortunate to be fit and active and with no pain, but not once have I been offered a seat. I rather enjoy watching seated people look at my bump, look away uncomfortably and then keeping my eyes on them knowing they will look up at me briefly and be startled to make eye contact. It’s become sport. They all do it. I hope the discomfort remains with them and they consider different choices in the future. And before anyone starts, the likelihood of them all having invisible disabilities is slim.

In the maternity department waiting room. One hideous family (all the extended members) took up all the seats, leaving several pregnant women standing. I asked some to move, they told me they couldn’t because of various ‘ailments’. I told the midwives, who asked them to move, to be met with the same attitude. One midwife let it be known how appalling she thought they were (dozens of random men, young men, kids, occasional older people) but apologised she couldn’t make them move and it would be hard for her to kick them out. They looked the ‘kicking off’ type.

Sometimes it and other people are shit. Just be glad you’re not like them.

Can tell you've never had PGP 🙄

I have and there is no way I would have been able to drive to a hospital appointment anyway!

When I was pregnant, I had to come in for daily monitoring the last 17 gruelling days. The spaces in the main car park were too small for me to get the car door open and squeeze out without the door touching the car next to me. Often even if they were touching I couldn't get out. It meant there were a handful of spaces that would work and I had to wait until they were free. I also have pelvic girdle pain so getting in and out was a mare. Some wider spaces would have been a godsend nearer the unit.

Then again, that was only start of the issues at that hospital. The temperature in the room I was assigned on the labour ward to be induced in was over 30 degrees. In March. The state of that building.

I don't know why it's so hard for people on mumsnet to think through why there would be sense for pregnant women attending the maternity and delivery unit to have dedicated and suitable parking.

Of course you’re not be unreasonable- you’re talking about visitors who don’t need to be there, not patients of the rest of the hospital who, as I understand, are better off parking in the other car parks.

Totally agree about men taking up seats in the maternity waiting room - they don’t need to be there and the pregnant women do!

I don't know why it's so hard for people on mumsnet to think through why there would be sense for pregnant women attending the maternity and delivery unit to have dedicated and suitable parking.

Because the same applies to everyone attending the cancer unit, the geriatric ward, the respiratory ward, the renal ward, the fracture clinic. It's not unusual for hospital patients to need assistance, or be unable to make the long walk from a car park to their appointment, or to be attending regularly.

As a group, pregnant women are probably among the most able attending the hospital. We really really don't need special treatment above other patients.

Argue for all patients to have X, Y or Z, sure but thinking maternity patients should be prioritised above others is a strange argument to make.

When it comes to parking in the UK it’s every man for himself.

It would also be impossible to police unless you have a parking warden asking women to prove their pregnancy. Then you have to think about women who are miscarrying, or who are in late stages of labour - what about when men drop them off at the front and want to park? Totally impractical

100% this

Are you for real?

So say OP, that you DO manage to get a space in this car park. What do you do?

Do you park there and go oh great I have a much better space today, or do you think to yourself someone pregnant with triplets with PGP and HG might come along and need this space more than me.

No you do the former. Everyone does. you can't predict if someone more in need may come along later and you can't rule your parking by it.

Your hospital set up sounds remarkably similar to ours. I’ve been both sides so I understand your frustration.

Whilst our maternity unit has a small car park attached, it can be used by anyone. However, the unit does contain a couple of non maternity wards and has a walk through to the main hospital.

As others have said, hospital parking is a nightmare, so many times we’ve parked in the ‘maternity’ car park as there’s no where else to park. Whilst it’s inconvenient and annoying having to push a wheelchair so far through the hospital to the appointment, it’s still preferable to missing the appointment due to no parking.

Hopefully this is will be a short time aggravation for you.

If it's HW hospital, I know it well and YANBU!

So not a disability but no one said it was, however, it it a temporary change in physical ability for many women.

This is a good way of putting it. Many women are not at their full capacity physically for much of a pregnancy. Some women fly through pregnancy but many of us had various issues along the way.

I do enjoy the pregnancy isn’t an illness quip. I vomited every single day, multiple times a day for three months on DC2. I often had empty retching and stress incontinence thrown in to make it extra fun. I have had illness in my life and even a couple surgeries but nothing else has ever made me feel as shit for so long.

Pregnancy isn’t a disability or an illness but many women find it really tough physically and mentally. Sometimes they need to have a rant on MN about car parks.

It's not necessary to include another class of people in this though. Only women can become pregnant. Therefore "pregnant women" is appropriate.

I used to think this when I was pregnant. Since having a child, I now work in a hospital and have realised that pregnant ladies are usually by far the healthiest patients in the hospital. There are plenty of other patients who should have priority over parking.

But not all people can get pregnant, only women can. It's physically impossible to be anything other than a woman and pregnant. Women covers who we mean when talking about pregnancy. Much like men works when we are talking about men's health. Funny I'm yet to see a poster asking "people" over a certain age to have their prostate checked, nope just men.

A decent pathway? Low, easy steps?

Probably not helpful to you, but I know several people who when they were pregnant, cycled everywhere - including hospital appointments. I think two MPs in NZ cycled to the hospital to have their babies, not sure if that is correct or not.

Not sure what happens in Denmark and Netherlands, the wind is strong in Netherlands so with the extra bulk maybe its a problem cycling in pregnancy

Does it really matter that much? A female born non binary person is still a person but don’t want to be known as “her” etc… so they would be a pregnant person

if you really want to push pregnant biological female

but why care that much - no one is asking you to stop calling yourself a woman

I cycle a lot in pregnancy. It’s good for PGP as the motion is on a single plane. It’s great for fitness and strength and I feel so much better for having done some pretty good exercise.

People have really laid into me for it though. I’ve been told I’m irresponsible, selfish, etc inviting danger. The same people who called me selfish for previous not wanting to have children, incidentally…

It’s not like I’m downhill mountain biking.

I've had both. Irrelevant though given you can't drive anywhere anyway with either until you're comfortable to do so and op is wanting the car park sealed off to everyone who isn't pregnant, and my understanding is a section or tears tend to be an issue after pregnancy (happy to be corrected there 🤣).

I await "can tell you've never had pregnancy related migraines/swollen ankles/sciatica/acne. Yep, had all those too.

YABU.
But Dads sitting in a waiting room while i was pregnant and in need of a seat? I would have picked one and said "i need that seat" and waited until i got it.