To think I would be an incredible master criminal?

[Octonaut4Life]

The fingerprint recognition to unlock my phone is so sensitive that if I have recently had a shower or even if my skin is slightly dry... It doesn't work. Is this a common issue, or have I overlooked the possibility of an incredible career as a cat burglar? (N.b: wouldn't be able to steal any actual cats, as DH is allergic).

YABU - your phone is just rubbish.
YANBU - have a crack at the crown jewels.

What are your weird attributes that mean you would be oddly suited to a life of crime?

I wanted to vote YABU since that is the most likely.

But I also want to encourage you in your cat burgling career, immoral and irresponsible though that is - both the burgling and the encouragement.

Mine is exactly the same..... It's very annoying.

I have a magic ability to hide things in a secret dimension where nobody could possibly find them, apart from me. According to my DH anyway... 🤔

I watch a lot of crime shows and read a lot of detective novels. I feel extremely confident that I can get away with pretty much any crime... its really not that hard

would love to steal some cats. they r the best.

I seem to have reached an age where I can go cheerfully about my business and I’m either invisible to those around me, or they assume I have the right to do whatever I’m doing. I really should be using this to do much more interesting stuff tbh.

I reckon an older woman with grey hair snd beige clothes could get away with practically anything.

Probably an even better cloak of invisibility than a hi-vis waistcoat.

Shame I threw all my beige clothes away. (makes note to trawl charity shops)

Have a crack at the Crown Jewels, and livepost it on here.

In fact, go one better and get two Mumsnetters who live close to the Tower to be your accomplice and getaway driver — like the threads appealing for wedding witnesses, but Pure Evil.

(And in balaclavas rather than fascinators.)

Same here. My PC finger ID is the same, so I think it is me...

The only thing that would give me away would be the amount of hair I shed. Would be leaving dna all over the shop!

But this doesn't make sense! How would not even being able to get into your own phone make you a master criminal? It would have been much better if your damp fingerprint could open someone else's phone, surely?

Love this idea - and @12roundsofwhitelowfatspread will be top of my list of potential accomplices! Fancy a trip to the Tower? 😊

I'm nowhere near the Tower but I'm in because:

1. Mischief
2. Possibility of snaffling a Raven.

My work has resulted in my finger prints being smoothed away too so I also have problems opening my phone, ordering stuff on the tap screens in shops etc.

So I agree I probably couldn't be traced through my fingers prints, however when you watch crime programmes there's also DNA traces, sweat traces, hair etc etc, so knowing my luck I'd get caught straight away.

I see a film in this - maybe abut like a modern “One of our Dinosaurs is Missing”!

A bit (obvs)

I derive huge amounts of satisfaction from measuring out small quantities of powdered substances extremely precisely. And I like money a lot.

I’ll help, nowhere near London but I like a nice day out. Great thing is I’m menopausal & forgetful so lying about Crown Jewels wouldn’t be an issue as I’d have no knowledge of being there. In fact I’d probably need reminding mid getaway.

I give out incredibly trustworthy vibes due to my boring appearance. I just look really really dull. I always get waved through at airports with my massive boots on and misshapen jumpers where it looks like I’m smuggling an entire person down my front.

so people smuggling for me please but I’ll help with the Crown Jewels escapade we’re doing

My kids and I can all open each others phones with Face ID, I reckon I could do anything and blame it on them.

Totally. I’ve got my reading glasses shoved in slightly windswept hair (secretly spy glasses, natch), my comfy trainers (for speedy getaways), and I can cause a distraction by being entirely unable to get my Tower of London guide ap to work so I will need all the Beefeaters’ help. We can’t lose.

Isn't this the premise of the reinvented Matlock TV show?

Hmm I am concerned that the cats and the ravens won't get along... May need to do 2x trips?

Boom! We've definitely got enough volunteers on this thread to make it happen... Now we just need a fence. Is the Mumsnet opinion more in favour of closeboard or picket these days? I can't keep up with the current fashion...

OK, but hands off Branwen, she's mine.

I’m in. My social skills and ability to hold a conversation are dire so I can keep the police away. Will grossly over share about mental health and gynae issues until they back away slowly.