To think I would be an incredible master criminal?

[Octonaut4Life]

The fingerprint recognition to unlock my phone is so sensitive that if I have recently had a shower or even if my skin is slightly dry... It doesn't work. Is this a common issue, or have I overlooked the possibility of an incredible career as a cat burglar? (N.b: wouldn't be able to steal any actual cats, as DH is allergic).

YABU - your phone is just rubbish.
YANBU - have a crack at the crown jewels.

What are your weird attributes that mean you would be oddly suited to a life of crime?

@VerityUnreasonble as a bengali, I feel the only fair thing with the crown jewels would be to return each respective jewel to its homeland. so I will have the kohinoor on behalf of my nation thanks...

I volunteer to drive the prams. I am a great driver... and also great at handling cats.

name wise... operation double trouble?

As a thought - we could replace the real ravens with the mumsnet ravens from this thread:

www.mumsnet.com/index.php/talk/mumsnet_classics/3402882-What-can-I-buy-from-Argos-for-4ish-to-win-a-bet

They wouldn't notice for ages. More time for a clean get-away.

(Surely I'm owed at least one jewel for this idea? Just a small one?)

I've just found my old beige trenchcoat.

So I'm all set.

I have almost no empathy so I suspect I’d be a brilliant criminal. The only thing that pulls me off the psychopathy scale is I do feel love, and - as impulsive as I am - consequences matter to me. In a parallel universe where my life hadn’t worked out as it has, I’m pretty sure I’d make a cracking gangster 😂

I've often thought that I'd make a terrific professional assassin, a la Martin Blank in Grosse Pointe Blank.

I'm an uncannily accurate aim, good at hiding and have a certain, ahem, moral flexibility.

@VerityUnreasonble now we're cooking with gas.

I know a lady who, over about 50 years, has effectively burned off her fingerprints on her Aga. Like that bit in Men In Black where they fry Will Smith’s fingerprints, but in a much slower, more middle class fashion.

She has no end of trouble when travelling to the US and they try to take her fingerprints at passport control!

I can put you in touch if you need an extra gang member, she is 80 now but very mobile.

My job involves wearing a high viz jacket. Everyone assumes you are allowed to be there in a high viz jacket.

I've been told more than once that I am an amazingly convincing liar, even when I'm having to make it up on the spot, so I reckon I'd be really good at conning people.

I'm also not at all squeamish and would probably have no problem killing someone if the need arose.

This is genius and terrifying. I have a lot of trees with TPOs that people are too worried to go near for fear of a fine. Happy to bury bodies or loot near them and they’ll be safe as anything. Nobody fucks with a TPO.

I would make the world's WORST criminal.

I have the most guilty looking face.
I get blamed/accused for things I haven't done.

I'll be over here, jealous of you, living off you're ill gotten gains. 😫

ok I’m in - I’m great looking busy and efficient with a clipboard and making people think I know what’s going on. Even better if I can borrow some high vis too 👍I can wear a lanyard and tick you all off a list on my clipboard so everyone thinks you’re allowed to be there.

I often wonder how I'd fair in a life a crime but not sure I could with the expectation of being caught any moment!

Me too my allotment is quiet. In the process of digging it over and cardboard and weed membrane on top / it’s big too - at least enough for 10 bodies 😂😱

I'm extremely good at internet searches, I do it as part of my job so I can find out anything. Also I've reached the invisible age so much so that even my own phone doesn't seem to recognise me without make up.

I also like cats and ravens.

It's a mix at times, have confidence in yourself and look the business etc