All old people should sell up family homes for families.

[benigogo]

Not really an AIBU, more a hypothetical question really. This view comes up a lot on MN, and I'm interested in the detail of what people actually imagine when they say it. What type of property should they be giving up? What type of property should they be moving to? How old is old? What about younger people who under occupy a property? For example 2 friend couples, have recently downsized. Both from a 4 bed detached, one to a 4 bed semi, and the other to a 3 bed semi. Their homes were bought, one by a young professional couple, and the other by a couple in their seventies, themselves downsizing. If you hold this view what do you visualise?

@escapingthecity ·
What about those family homes where different generations can gather together for Christmas and celebrations?

We used to have one; that used to be us. We were the hub centre for family occasions, friends and family holidays. Multiple guest 12 overnight? Dinner for 12, party for 100 catered by me? No probs, bring a friend, and their babies and dogs. Gorgeous location ,great views.

Then we sold iup and downsized to a smaller place, perfectly suited to TWO, and the rest of our lives, fitted out for our future decrepitude. No stairs; walk/wheel in wetroom with seat. A different gorgeous location with great views. This one is on a bus route, easy access to all amenities, services, medical care and paid help. One twin guest bedroom and guest bathroom. Dining kitchen can seat 5 at table.

Our children now have large family homes with multiple bedrooms in exciting locations. They are the hosts for holidays, celebrations and large family occasions; we go to their parties. We're the carefree guests who turn up with a bottle and walk away leaving someone else to clear up the mess. It's great.

Planning your best old age takes far more skill thought and time than planning a wedding. A wedding only lasts one day. Retirement lasts decades.

Think on, grasshoppers.

No, we need our houses with drives so we can plug in our electric cars and room for our ASHPs

@watersprites what do you mean by “productive”?

Yes really they should all have the good grace to die at 60 (or would you prefer 55?) And clear off so the young folk can have their stuff.

After all its not like the young folk will ever get old. Will they?

You'd better hope your parents or in turn you don't need care as unless they/you have a lot of savings. the home will have to be sold to pay for care. Unless it's written in. trust (although I've seen quite a few suggestions that that doesn't always mean you don't have to sell the home to pay care home fees).

People who say that just sound dumb to me.

what Would they downsize to?

good question. We’re living longer and have more health issues, disabilities and/or mobility issues as we age. And our housing stock mostly isn’t as easily adaptable as it should be.

most older people don’t think about downsizing soon enough before these issues become a problem.

im in my 30s and i know I can’t age here because of the access (15 steps) and garden access (10steps) unless im very lucky and very careful to keep up my health, strength and flexibility and/or strength figure out a good way to make easier access into my home.

What I hope to see happen is more sheltered housing and over 60s style housing that’s smaller in size so easier to clean and manage, wider doorways to accommodate wheelchairs, slightly wider staircases to accommodate stair lifts, flat access from the street, small functional garden spaces that are easier to maintain.

we need much more in the middle ground between living In your home Vs care home. We need more of those lower support type places.

I wonder if the Asian tradition of extended families living together makes more sense.

I grew up in multigen house. So did many of my friends. It's not just Asian style.

Uk houses are not made for this though. They are small, usually small rooms with lack of storage, you can hear a neighbour fart and so on.

Same as a lot of generations did b for them rent.

But rents are extortionate now & there is far less social housing then I was young.

And there won't be this mass emigration,

I never said there would be mass emigration but we will lose more of our "talent" to other countries like we are seeing with healthcare workers now. Houses are expensive in many areas but many areas have higher wages & lower taxes/more incentives.
My dc have European passports & i'm fully encouraging them to look elsewhere as they get older.

I live in a terraced area, people run the charging wire over the pavement with a rubber mat over it. Entirely do-able.

No, the government needs to have a plan to get sufficient housing built - it isn't up to older people to unfuck general fuckups that the government have not bothered with. I live in a 4 bed new build: 4 of us plus dog. When my dc go to university in 3 years, am I expected to vacate the house that I paid for? Ridiculous.

There aren’t often suitable homes to downsize to. The bungalows built near us are as expensive as a family 4 bed.

Which countries?

Also, a lot of bungalows are bought up by younger people who like the location, but not the property. They then convert the building into a two storey. Many bungalows have been taken out of housing stock in this way.

@ZenNudist my parents are currently 79 and 75. I hope they are around for several more years. I will probably be an old lady when I inherit their house - but at least I will feel secure for the first time in my adult life. Private renting is terrifying. Short leases. No security.

When I become old and senile I would sell my house and downsize. Firstly I wouldn't need all that empty space, secondly I wouldn't want a place with stairs and thirdly with the profit I could then pay for a carer so I don't keep having "falls" and burdening the NHS unnecessarily.

@RustyBear , if you don’t already have mobility problems, it’s as well to be aware of ‘bungalow knees’ - a deterioration brought about purely by lack of the exercise provided by stairs.

It’s commonly known to doctors, but my folks found out the hard way, having downsized to a bungalow in their mid 60s. Not because they particularly wanted a bungalow, but because it was all they could find in their chosen area.

After 3 years they decided they didn’t like the area after all, and moved again, to a house. And were shocked to find that a lack of stairs had seriously affected their fitness, although it did eventually recover.

I'd love to sell our 4 bed family home and move into a 2 bed bungalow or a nice flat. DH won't even consider it.

When we bought this house 30 years ago we bought it off a couple who were probably in their 70s like we are now. It has a bathroom, en suite and downstairs loo, the woman said she was fed up of cleaning 3 toilets for 2 people. I now know how she felt.

We live in a 4-bedroom home. Never had children. Just us two and lots of room for guests and hobbies. I’m not moving unless one of us becomes so immobile that we need a different layout or location. I’m certainly not doing it to facilitate a stranger’s desire to get on the “property ladder”. We love where we live. We deserve to be happy also. Right up
until we die, if possible.

@Needmorelego I don't understand what you are asking me 🤷🏻‍♀️

That's assuming it doesn't have to be sold to pay for care home fees.

All of that makes sense. But that should be your choice to make, not something that you should be forced to do, as has been suggested on numerous MN threads over the years.

As for old people, IMO there’s a lot of ageist view in there which likely suggests that not only should they sell the family home but they should do so in order to give the money to their grabby children

Well it's a sensible way of avoiding IHT sell up, buy somewhere smaller, give difference to children (and make sure you live 7 years).

I think it should happen, but there should clearly be more carrots than sticks. It is silly for a person to be rattling around a 4 bed house they can't cope with, especially if their son or daughter is struggling to even rent somewhere.

However there are so many problems - not enough smaller properties being built, people allowed to put massive extensions on small houses, people allowed to convert bungalows into houses etc.

I would not want to move from my detached house to a noisy flat with a massive service charge for example,

I agree with the idea in theory but don't think it works in practice in many cases.

I live in a 4 bed house with 2 adult kids, both with disabilities. I purposely bought this house, because ;
there is no garden ,only a back yard which I have turned into a courtyard garden with lots of pot plants.So no worries about having to mow grass etc.
there is a downstairs shower room so any person with disabilities can still have some dignity.
one of the reception rooms could easily be a bedroom and there will still be a living/dining room.
one of the bedrooms could be a kitchen/kitchenette.
When I die my kids can live here and have both support from each other and privacy when they want it.

My oldest child is blind, so the house is familiar to him, he can get around safely.
I know OP that you aren't suggesting that older people should have to move, but many people try to future proof their homes, and being where you know your neighbours can literally be a lifeline when older. I chat to mine every day , we have a sense of community, if I left I would have to find that again.

I'm sure it is but why should I do that when I have a large driveway.