All old people should sell up family homes for families.

[benigogo]

Not really an AIBU, more a hypothetical question really. This view comes up a lot on MN, and I'm interested in the detail of what people actually imagine when they say it. What type of property should they be giving up? What type of property should they be moving to? How old is old? What about younger people who under occupy a property? For example 2 friend couples, have recently downsized. Both from a 4 bed detached, one to a 4 bed semi, and the other to a 3 bed semi. Their homes were bought, one by a young professional couple, and the other by a couple in their seventies, themselves downsizing. If you hold this view what do you visualise?

Ridiculous
people have a right to stay in their homes.

Agree that it's not something that can be imposed. My parents are in a large terrace in London with 4 floors, two they don't even use but the thought of moving is so overwhelming. As you get older your world get smaller and it's very hard to imagine life elsewhere.

Slightly in the same vein I have always thought that older people are probably best moving from rural communities to towns and cities where they are closer to amenities - shops, doctors and hospitals and are also closer if there is an emergency.

Where I am the villages are filled with very old people and i imagine it's a bit isolated there. But also they have to drive everywhere to access anything and im not sure it's super safe to have lots of 90 year olds driving about on weaving country roads - as ageist as that sounds! (This is my mom and her driving terrifies me!)

I've just moved onto a small estate of 30 houses. All the 5 bedroom houses are occupied by retired couples 🤔

I think my mother would have gone down hill fast if she didn't keep her independence and been moved away from her home and everything she recognised .

That's an absurd comparison. Me having multiple children doesn't prevent anyone else having children. Whereas if I have 2 houses, nobody else can buy those houses. Stupid.

I think more elderly people should live together so they can support each other and give each other company. Life is easier when you have a community. This would have the added bonus of sharing bills so would be cheaper and would also free up homes so less house building would be needed so we'd all have more green spaces.

You forget that they have also single handedly invented pregnancy, childbirth and being a parent, hence they're the fount of all knowledge, it's what makes them so amusing, bless their little cotton socks!

Newsflash deary, not everyone wants to live in a grey-haired commune, we are quite content being on our own.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I agree , and wouldn't that just be a care home ?

I sort of agree with OP.

There are many elderly frail people living in housing that is totally impractical for their needs, eg they can't manage the stairs, no loo downstairs, requires a lot of maintenance they can't afford etc.

However - where do these frail elderly go ? There are simply not the smaller housing units available. Where I live the last few bungalows have been adapted into 2 storey houses, and whilst there are some retirement apartments there aren't many and they are expensive to both buy and to pay the service charges.

We need a wider range of housing options available to suit the different stages of life, and alongside we need a more streamlined housing buying and selling system. The current one is clumbersome, stressful and adds cost to the already costly endeavour of moving home.

Yet you're here..

I think there should be more openness about ageing and being proactive in preparation for it. Starting in your 30s and 40s with good diet and exercise, keeping on right through life.

I don't think older people should be forced from their homes but there should be availability of decent smaller homes with better accessibility etc if people want it.

And there should be more of a culture of considering future needs through life - so at some point living somewhere where you're dependent on driving might be impractical, or somewhere with very steep stairs.

The very worst thing is to stay in a house until it becomes unmanageable due to illness or inability to keep up with housework etc, then be forced to sell and downsize. It's much better if there's a positive choice and ability to build a new life and community in the new place.

Two of us live in a 4 bed detached.
I'm going nowhere
I've paid for it.
We're in our 50s.
We will move when we want to move. If we don't want to then we won't.
What we choose to do is our business

Seriously, you want old people to move out their homes and share a house with strangers?? fucking hell!!! You know even old people are allowed their privacy

I don't really understand why we as a society seem to be so much more outraged about the thought of forcing older people out of their homes than young families out of their rented homes with just two months notice. Why the difference between generations, or the haves and have not?

Some of the posts on here are only just this side of side of Logan’s Run! It’s horrendous.

Brilliant 🤣

Because quite frankly, it would probably finish most old people off, it walkouts cost significant amounts of money for the old person to move, they are often reliant on a support network. Memories are often failing, would you be happy forcing someone with Alzheimer’s out of their home? Someone who had it adapted.

Why are people having kids when their housing isn’t stable? The rules governing the rental market are nothing to do with old people staying in their homes.

What do you think would happen to the more affordable housing stock?

why are you so jealous of people with assets that you wish them serious harm?

The haves used to be the have nots they worked for it .

And this is why , when old people get to it, the idea of downsizing doesn’t materialise

im just past 60. Divorced 2 years ago, and took opportunity to “ downsize” to a home suitable as my” carry me out in a box” home. I needed a house that had a downstairs bedroom and bathroom, even if I didn’t use it yet.

🤣🤣🤣🤷🏼‍♀️
has anyone here actually tried to buy a bungalow or dormer bungalow…they’re as rare as hens teeth, cost a fecking fortune compared to same size house with 2 or 3 floors. Trying to find a bungalow built in last 20 years to modern building regs is like finding a needle in a haystack- no builder wants to build them voluntarily as they take up too much land.
And when you do find one you find it’s be n extended into a family home with dormers and extensions

so, my downsizing ended up costing me a overplayed fortune, yep I got my downstairs bathroom and bedroom, but I’ve got 4 flipping bedrooms with 2 of them being very small doubles or big singles - which are downstairs ones 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦‍♀️. If I need to move downstairs I’ll have to knock them through and loose my hobby space

so , to most people I’m still occupying an overly big “ family home”. I’d have gladly bought something a tadge smaller and certainly would have preferred a proper bungalow , but that wasn’t possible. I spent a fortune on buying, had to spend a fortune on fixing stuff cos it’s a crap 1960 build and it been nothing but stressful and miserable. I can’t afford to move ( retired and divorced) so I’m stuck here now.

so downsizing all sounds nice and sensible and easy. In practice it’s heartbreaking, and incredibly difficult.

I’ve got a friend who’s be n waiting 2 years now to find her downsized home - she can’t afford any of them , they’re all more expensive than her current family home.

My point exactly, despite all the garbage trotted out on this site which must scare the hell out of people having a first baby, there is nothing new in any of it.

Or maybe Groundhog Day!

I’m 74, my husband died suddenly last year. We were part of a group of about 20 friends who agreed 25 years ago to explore co-housing. It was a great project and concluded with people deciding inheritance, living near adult children and near established friendship groups was important. Most of us are in/around Greater Manchester so access to museums, galleries, theatre and excellent hospitals. I’m north Manchester, fabulous moorland and open countryside.

we have lived in this 4bed semi for 32 years, we future proofed it once we decided to stay, downstairs shower etc, if the stairs become problematic. When my husband unexpectedly became very ill, being in this familiar home helped. Our adult children and grandchildren feel close to him when they’re here. I’ve a room for hobbies and enough space for my dogs.

The assumption that you know more about our needs is making me smile Remotecontrol.

If you own your own house, no matter how big it is, it is yours, you have paid for it.
If you do not own your own home but have been given a house when your kids were young and now they are all gone and you are rambling around in a big house where 3 of the rooms are being unused then that is different, you should be provided with a smaller place that suits your needs. I can understand people's frustration at older people in huge houses that still live there alone when there are huge families being squashed into inadequate housing.

The problem is there are no smaller places available for the elderly people to go and even if there are, they refuse to leave the house they brought their kids up in even though they don't own it.

Is it fair an elderly widow is in a 4 bedroom council house on her own while there are families that needs them and have been on the list for years? No. But where do you put her?

But if you have paid for your home and bought it outright, your name is on the deeds then it is yours whether you have 20 rooms or not. End of.

The haves used to be the have nots they worked for it .

🤣🤣