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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

All old people should sell up family homes for families.

712 replies

benigogo · 27/07/2023 13:13

Not really an AIBU, more a hypothetical question really. This view comes up a lot on MN, and I'm interested in the detail of what people actually imagine when they say it. What type of property should they be giving up? What type of property should they be moving to? How old is old? What about younger people who under occupy a property? For example 2 friend couples, have recently downsized. Both from a 4 bed detached, one to a 4 bed semi, and the other to a 3 bed semi. Their homes were bought, one by a young professional couple, and the other by a couple in their seventies, themselves downsizing. If you hold this view what do you visualise?

OP posts:
Wintercomesoon · 27/07/2023 18:10

People who hold this view should examine their own life choices and leave the elderly to make their own decisions about their housing situation. If you choose to have more children than you have space for, that is a problem for you to solve, not the elderly couple down the road.

Medusaismyhero · 27/07/2023 18:14

My PILs live in a 4 bed detached bungalow they built on DHs grandads land when they got married 50 years ago. Why on earth would they give it up? It's theirs, they've spent their married life in it.

woodhill · 27/07/2023 18:19

How do you view the people that own more than one property

Should they sell them to the younger generation?

Oliotya · 27/07/2023 18:23

woodhill · 27/07/2023 18:19

How do you view the people that own more than one property

Should they sell them to the younger generation?

Yes. Nobody needs more than 1 house.

nebulae · 27/07/2023 18:29

Oliotya · 27/07/2023 18:23

Yes. Nobody needs more than 1 house.

Show quote history

Agreed. I have a relative with 5 properties, all owned outright. She rents 2 of them out and flits between the other 3. Ridiculous. I don't think she should be made to sell any of them but they should be very heavily taxed in some way.

BeaumontLivingston · 27/07/2023 18:30

I don't believe they are obligated to do so.

I think any idea of forcing it is hilarious. Imagine, the logistics of getting these people out of their homes, finding a new one, moving them, dealing with protests. It's great for job creation but bad for the public purse.

WhatADrabCarpet · 27/07/2023 18:37

PinkFootstool · 27/07/2023 14:10

Makes no odds. We aren't lacking family homes on the open market, we're lacking accessible properties - ground floor flats, bungalows etc - for people with mobility issues.

If I won the massive Euromillions pot, I'd be setting up a construction company to specialise in the creation of 1 and 2 bed bungalows and nothing else. In an ideal world, I'd also set it up as a housing association.

Ab-so-bloody-lutely.
Sick of trying to find app bungalow that hasn't been snapped up by cash buyers who turn them into family homes.

JusthereforXmas · 27/07/2023 18:44

Zipps · 27/07/2023 15:29

We did downsize from our 5 bedroom family house to our 2 bedroom home that we live in now but it took us ages to find it. All the two beds we looked at were pokey starter homes- one double and one single bedroom, living room, kitchen, bathroom. Nowhere near big enough!
Ours has two double bedrooms, two bathrooms, big hallway, kitchen/diner/sitting room and separate living room, small utility room, double garage, large driveway, manageable garden.
Until builders take note people won't downsize.

That doesn't sound like down sizing... thats just having less bedrooms (unless you lived in a literal mansion before in which case you still 'downsized' to a massive house).

If the square foot of the house is still massive then its still... well erm massive.

houses with 2 living areas (usually downstairs), 2 bathrooms (usually on two floors), big kitchen diner (usually down stairs), huge hallway (usually downstairs) etc... obviously have far more space upstairs than just 2 bedrooms thats why they are rare. Most people however understand downsizing is more than just counting the rooms with beds in.

Unless you are talking bungalow in which case that would take up a ginormous plot far bigger than a house on this tiny island with limited room for housing.

Wiccan · 27/07/2023 18:46

watersprites · 27/07/2023 17:07

Nope it's simple maths , you have more kids than you can afford then you definatly are not going to be able to afford to buy the house you're going to eventually need .

Yes it is simple maths, birth rates have dropped in part because of the cost & the fact first time mothers are much older. Most people do try & buy before they have dc but saving can take years.

Also if some people wait to buy before they have dc they will never have dc so it's not unsurprising some don't want to wait.

And there is a lot less social housing now, simple maths as you say. But I guess it was ok in the past to have dc & need social housing but now it's not?

Well the birth rate hasn't dropped around here and a lack of bedrooms is definatly not stopping them.
" OMG I cannot believe the council won't give us a bigger house we're not lucky like you, we haven't got the money to ever buy a house "! . This was said to me by a women who has 7 , yes 7 kids !. If I put my house on the market tomorrow this women will never be able to afford to buy it. This is not just about lack of social housing or interest rates or pay rates it is also about shit decision making !

Fizbosshoes · 27/07/2023 18:46

I live in a commuter town. Near the station and town centre there are flats (luxury developments and flats above shops) ....the rest of the town is almost all semi detached and detached houses. I can think of a few roads with some bungalows but they are probably a mile away and not many of them. Any new developments are generally 5-10 "executive family homes" with tiny gardens presumably because they are profitable. So moving house becomes leaving the immediate vicinity and community you are part of if you want to downsize to something smaller.

Bungalows are probably the least profitable use of land for houses and I imagine that's why you don't see many new ones being built.
My parents home was in London suburbia - streets and streets of 1930s semi detached houses. There were a few blocks of flats near them but they very rarely came up for sale, and not all had lifts so if stairs were an issue, it might be years before a ground floor flat became available.

SideWonder · 27/07/2023 18:47

Mumsnet is skewed towards parents, a vocal minority of whom think that having children is intrinsically meritorious and that someone who has reproduced gains some sort of moral priority over those who have not.

Very true @ImNotReallySpartacus

And inevitably, as soon as they start spouting about their moral priority, they show exactly why they are not meritorious.

watersprites · 27/07/2023 18:54

Well the birth rate hasn't dropped around here

ffs, we are talking statistically!!

This was said to me by a women who has 7 , yes 7 kids !.

Oh in that case yes extrapolate that rare scenario to the entire generation.

It's so depressing how thick some people are.

Rocknrollstar · 27/07/2023 18:55

In our area two bedroom flats with a balcony cost more than we would get for our five bedroom house so we are staying put

Wintercomesoon · 27/07/2023 19:11

Oliotya · 27/07/2023 18:23

Yes. Nobody needs more than 1 house.

Show quote history

Nobody needs more than one child but I bet you would like to retain your right to have more than one. Why does that right not extend to people who want to own more than one house.

watersprites · 27/07/2023 19:29

Surely you have a better argument than comparing dc to houses? 🤣

Wiccan · 27/07/2023 19:33

watersprites · 27/07/2023 18:54

Well the birth rate hasn't dropped around here

ffs, we are talking statistically!!

This was said to me by a women who has 7 , yes 7 kids !.

Oh in that case yes extrapolate that rare scenario to the entire generation.

It's so depressing how thick some people are.

Not thick at all thank you . I had the intelligence to not have more than I could afford .

watersprites · 27/07/2023 19:37

keep telling yourself that

Wiccan · 27/07/2023 19:39

watersprites · 27/07/2023 19:37

keep telling yourself that

Yeah I will. not a problem .

Ingrowncrotchhair · 27/07/2023 19:40

escapingthecity · 27/07/2023 13:56

What about those family homes where different generations can gather together for Christmas and celebrations? One of my grannies had a massive house (I think there were 6 bedrooms) and having big gatherings with my cousins at Christmas was such a special part of our childhood. We couldn't afford many holidays so we used to go and stay with her because she had the space. When she had to move into a much smaller 3 bed house we saw a lot less of our cousins. Force all older people to leave their 4 bedroom family homes and where do those family memories get made?

And where do you suggest families with young children make memories? As they are piled on top of each other in their tiny flats? With no space to play, or privacy?

you should’ve asked your parents to see your aunts and uncles more often. Also - you can make memories once a year in a park or something.

give me strength

watersprites · 27/07/2023 19:40

I guess you do that a lot 😆

OsirisservesAnubis · 27/07/2023 19:41

Ingrowncrotchhair · 27/07/2023 19:40

And where do you suggest families with young children make memories? As they are piled on top of each other in their tiny flats? With no space to play, or privacy?

you should’ve asked your parents to see your aunts and uncles more often. Also - you can make memories once a year in a park or something.

give me strength

Show quote history

That is not home owners problem to solve. We need to build more suitable housing.

Wiccan · 27/07/2023 19:41

Wiccan · 27/07/2023 19:39

Yeah I will. not a problem .

Show quote history

While sitting in my giant house with lots of rooms I don't need 🙂

Ingrowncrotchhair · 27/07/2023 19:45

OsirisservesAnubis · 27/07/2023 19:41

That is not home owners problem to solve. We need to build more suitable housing.

Show quote history

I completely agree. Yours is a good argument.

nana had 6 beds and that’s what allowed me to see my cousins and make memories is not a good argument

Racingrabbit · 27/07/2023 19:48

A responsible adult doesn't have children until they can offer a secure, loving and financially stable home.

Yes, circumstances change. I am talking about those that create the situation knowing they can not provide for their child/children and have no intention of doing so. Yet expect everyone else to be responsible for their irresponsibility.

Wiccan · 27/07/2023 19:51

Racingrabbit · 27/07/2023 19:48

A responsible adult doesn't have children until they can offer a secure, loving and financially stable home.

Yes, circumstances change. I am talking about those that create the situation knowing they can not provide for their child/children and have no intention of doing so. Yet expect everyone else to be responsible for their irresponsibility.

This^