Birthdays are shit when you're an adult

[KingKhazi]

Today is my birthday. I'm 36. Managed to get the day off work but not doing anything as I've got no friends, no kids, no partner.
The weather is shit. Was going to take the dog for a walk along the river but its pouring down and my dog is most definitely a fair weather dog!
I've had to wake up early to take my brother to work because his car is fucked. Don't even live with him. Chances are he'll have forgotten it's my birthday. He has no money either.
No money to treat myself to anything.
No cards or presents to open.

I'm 36 and my physical health is declining. I feel old. Sad. Lonely.

My family are pretty selfish too (apart from DH who is a diamond!) so friends all the way. The previous suggestions such as meeting others through volunteering etc are something to think about, so next year will be better.
I'm much older than you, so after years of feeling neglected I have a day of being utterly selfish too and do exactly what I like and always buy myself something I want depending on finances, may only be something from a charity shop, one bumper year was a very expensive hairdryer. And work on your health if possible, another big change I made. Give your dog a hug- much nicer than a lot of people sadly.
Have a happy birthday x

Free cake from greggs and Costa when you download the app, too good to go magic bag might also give you a few nice surprises if you live somewhere where you can get those. Walk in the park, there will always be people walking their dogs no matter the weather even a greeting as you pass by can help lift your spirits with a little human interaction. Library for a nice book or download libby and choose a book from the app. Something you consider a treat for dinner doesn't have to be majorly expensive. Make your birthday special for you it's not just a day like all the rest!

I write myself a card and get myself a gift (so if anyone forgets I still have something lovely). I write a love letter to myself basically and things I'm proud of for year I've lived so far.

Yep. I was single for almost a decade and birthdays were so depressing from the first I decided I would fly to Rome on my birthday. I've done it every year now, it means I'm in a city I love, there's loads to see and I don't have to worry about someone getting me a cake.

I will say I'm married now, but we still spent my birthday in Rome last year and will this year!

Make your birthday about you and something you love. Make a date or a mini break with yourself X

You celebrate being alive - growing old in a privilege.
Stay active, get out feel the rain and wish yourself a very happy birthday - you made it!

@Gerrataere Thank you for the advice, you're right, I never thought of it that way. He sees birthday cards and will then say it's his birthday. I've been lenient as he is autistic and young. Progress though, his friends birthday was last month and he acknowledged it was his friends birthday, not his. Definitely time to stop the agreeing.

OP hope you've found some useful advice too, and manage to enjoy the rest of the day in your own way ❤

I get it. I have two autistic children, one understands birthdays but the other doesn’t. He always says it’s his birthday as well, no mate but we’re all having fun that’s what matters 😆

That sounds lovely.

Happy birthday OP xxx

Happy birthday, op. You were probably being over optimistic in taking the day off, tbh. Why did you, when you had no plans other than walking the dog?

Actually that sounds a bit accusatory... Just; it was bound to feel a bit deflating?

Happy birthday I’ve just had the best one ever for decades all from friends in our flats. Everything I need for the next few weeks I got toiletries chocolates favourite savoury biscuits. Wonderful, a cuddly dog to cuddle not a real one I've called it Matthew.

Really helping the OP there!
👏👏👏

🤨🙄😐🤦‍♀️

Every birthday is a reason to celebrate another year of life.

As the saying goes, ‘Growing old is a privilege denied to many.’

Happy Birthday @KingKhazi

It's my birthday today too. I am 53 today.

I have had a rough time these past couple of years and this year has been particularly bad.

My family business is on the rocks and I've spent the past few weeks looking for work. That's been a big negative hit on my self-esteem. Obviously, I'm short on money and I have felt like I can't do very much and I have started to sort of mope around. I don't live in the UK and have lots of rain but I live in a city with sunshine, too much sunshine. It's been over two weeks of over 100F heat with over 75% humidity. It's way too hot to be outside and even if I did go out, I have nowhere to go and no one to visit.

Yesterday, birthday eve, I decided that I was going to go into my 53rd birthday and year with a completely different attitude. I am determined to find the little things that make me happy and celebrate them. I've so far had a dairy-free milkshake, nice texts from my children and sister, my husband is taking me out to a simple lunch, I went out for a walk in the heat and it actually lifted my mood, I listened to music I love, I cuddled my cats, I also listened to birdsong outside my window and identified them on my Merlin app...I am feeling pretty good and it's only 9:30am. I'm determined to keep it up from now on. That's the birthday gift I am giving to myself.

I'm sorry you're feeling down but I hope you can turn it around and feel better.

Happy birthday 🎂 💐

tend to agree, apart from perhaps special ones.

That sounds so positive! Happy birthday to you too 😊

Thanks everyone and happy birthday to those celebrating too.

Took myself and the dog out for a drive to a very popular but very beautiful village in the cotswolds (about 30 miles from me) and was lucky to find a free parking space (as in no cost) which was a bonus. Had a walk. Sat and watched the other dogs splashing about in the river than runs through the village. My dog wasn't having any of it!
Then bought chips for £2.50.
Had a notification on my kfc app to say I'd got 2 free chicken pieces so picked those up on way back! Will have those with some salad.

I've always loved celebrating my birthday, it's the one day of the year when I can be a bit selfish and do exactly what I want without feeling guilty. It's the one day I get to really celebrate me!

Few years ago during covid I was in a similar position OP. I had very little money, no job, no friends, no family and nothing to do. Even though I have a summer birthday the weather was rubbish. I just thought 'fuck it', went out and bought myself a small bottle of rum and a giant bag of my favourite crisps, then spent the rest of the day on the sofa getting drunk and snacking, watching all my favourite movies and tv shows. It actually ended up being a really nice, fun day!

Happy Birthday!!🎊💐

Sounds like a good day.
Was it Bourton? That's a lovely spot for anyone to visit.

Not such a bad way to spend the day. Sounds lovely.

Most adults really aren't bothered about their birthday, because any kind of fuss is embarassing.
But if it's important to you, OP, then make it special in one of the many ways already suggested. And don't be such a wet blanket with your brother - if he asks for inconvenient favours, just say "no"! Try doing that for the whole year, and by your next birthday you'll feel much happier.

Happy Birthday OP!

TREAT YOURSELF. I would go and get myself food for my favorite dinner, or a takeaway, some lovely treats. I would rent a film and stick on a mudpack.

I know birthdays can highlight any lonely areas in your life, but do not rely on others to make you happy - spoil yourself instead.