AIBU to walk out of work?

[LindaHoney]

Help me out. Maybe ESH.
I work in a fairly large salon. Large team and we are understaffed as salon supervisors or coordinators. Recently a young team member was given a huge promotion (above me) due to a relative she had in the company in a higher position. While the new manager is nice, she is 21 and has no maturity or experience at all. She is late to work, leaves early and makes constant mistakes that needs more experienced staff to fix. She is immature in so far as she will roll cigs in common areas, leaving tobacco everywhere, leave rolled cigs on our work desk in view of clients, sip water from gin glass whilst in the client areas, takes many smoke breaks, no respect for days off, constantly texts me asking me about work things on my days off, on sick days and after hours.

it used to be that one week we would be on earlies and the next week we’d do a late, but she always has me doing lates which means I have to close and sometimes I don’t get finished until after 9pm 3 days a week. If there is any issue at close, it’s always my problem. Staff don’t clean up, my problem. Staff don’t wash equipment, my problem, on a few occasion’s equipment broke and other staff members left with keys and I was left unable to leave at home time, as I couldn’t leave shop unlocked or couldn’t leave the clients unfinished. Everyone else gets to leave on time but I feel like no matter what goes wrong nobody asks me to stay, it’s just expected and it’s having huge effect on my diet (I can’t eat after 9pm but I get one break during the day if I start work at 10am) and sometimes after a late finish I’m expected to be back in work next morning to open at 6:30am. I can’t plan anything like the gym or plans with my partner it just feels my life revolves around work.

three months ago I got offered a new job, I told my manager who told me she’d try get the boss to match it, I turned other job down, I waited 6 weeks for an answer and they came back and told me I was earning more than the norm in the Industry (this isn’t true, I’m earning the standard wage) but in this industry the hours aren’t standard - 6:30 starts, 9pm finishes… salons are 10-6. Closed Sunday. We don’t get Sunday pay.

sometimes my manager doesn’t come to work on time and I miss my break, I rarely get to leave on time, the late finishes are never shared. The only request I had was my two days off together and even that is not being honored the last few weeks it’s constant excuses why she needs me to swap days with her, funeral, boyfriend travelling and all.

this evening I had enough, other staff member was not helping and she was the root cause of me having to do an additional two hour over time last week (11pm finish) and when I asked her to clean shelves she rang manager and threatened to go home. My manager rang me and I told her if that’s how the business works now; I’m going home too. And I walked out. Now I’m scheduled for a disciplinary meeting on Friday with the director of the company.

advice?

Apply for other jobs

I’d go to the bloody disciplinary and tell them the whole lot in no uncertain terms.

Go out feeling like you made yourself heard!

Go to the meeting. Say your piece and spin on your heel once you have.
The business will go tits up when you're no longer there to carry extra shit.

Have a journal of the events and days of these events. Also don't be afraid to report the effect on your health of these happenings. Please note the unprofessional environment and toxic affect on customers.

In an ideal world I'd be giving them my written notice at the start of the meeting and just leave. I would state in it that the regular interruptions to life outside work are having a detrimental impact on my mental health and that I would therefore not be returning.

However, it is not really the best time to be out of work so that would depend a lot on financial circumstances generally and what the job market is like in your industry - particular if you've been there a long time (thinking references)!

So perhaps instead I would make notes to myself on the circumstances that lead to me reaching breaking point, and ask them how they are going to create a better working environment and work life balance. Maybe create a written statement of some kind to give them. Whatever happens in the meeting, make sure it is clarified in writing too.

And as pp says, apply for lots of jobs!

Go I calmly with a list of the issues you have with date evidence/copies of texts when you are off etc. Mention that you turned down another job for a promised match than never materialised. Start job hunting tomorrow. They clearly need you. Find something better and let them get on with it.

Why did you turn the other job down without a firm offer of better pay/conditions in your first job? Madness.
get job hunting asap.

Write it all down.

Be factual. Leave out the stuff about her being a relative of someone senior (they’ll know) and sipping water out of gin glasses (trivial).

Stick to all the stuff about unfair shifts and demands on you.

Stay calm. No bitching about the manager.

This is about how you have been treated unfairly, possibly bullied, and that is what drove you to behave as you did.

I don’t suppose you’re in a union, are you?

I’ve been in your shoes, albeit in a different industry. The fact is, when you’re the loyal , conscientious employee among dickheads you’ll always be the one to pick up the slack at your own expense of time and quality of life. Those above you won’t see it , those below you won’t care. It’s not your business, you can’t be responsible for it failing due to poor management or staff. You need to find somewhere that you’re valued and respected. Your loyalty won’t be repaid here, you’ll be part of a system whereby your plugging holes and fighting fires and no one gives a shit. Make yourself an awesome CV and go and interview other places ( that’s not a typo , you interview them, their business needs good people and you’re an asset) I nearly died working for a company that gave no fucks for me and didn’t appreciate my sacrifices and dedication and I wish someone had told me this. Know your worth. Good luck .

Don't go to the disciplinary meeting alone. Take someone you trust and that can calmly and professionally advocate for you as you will likely be feeling quite emotional.

As pp said, write everything down in a factual way ahead of time.

And learn from this lesson, do not turn down a job until you have the counter offer in writing. They knew that they had you cornered at that point and didn't have to match it at all.

Good Luck OP.

Good suggestions here ref the meeting. But also, phone the company whose job you turned down to see if there is any chance of a job there. Someone I know turned down a job, later regretted it and still managed to secure the job. If you don't ask you don't get. Best of luck.

Does the company who made you the job offer have any openings? I'd go back and ask, say you made a mistake in staying.

Play for time. Tell them it's too short notice to go to a disciplinary interview - are you sure it's a disciplinary hearing or is it an investigatory hearing? It should be the latter but I'm getting the sense it's the former. Tell them you need adequate notice to allow you to bring a representative. However they can refuse to allow anyone to accompany you other than a colleague or a union rep and I don't think you're in a union?

How long have you worked for them? Has there been any other issues with your work or disciplinaries? If you have more than 2 years' service then they need to be very careful if they are going to fire you! You could potentially have a case for unfair dismissal if they do. If you have legal cover on your car/house insurance or anything like that, contact them and they will give you advice too. Also speak to ACAS for advice.

write everything down, i mean everything!!
dates times who was where when how, every single problem, every time ur worked over, show it's only you doing things, that it's unfair, get it all written down now, and also yes take someeone with you who can support you, if you are not in a union, if you are, then get on the phone asap to them. all else fails, see a work solicitor.

PS totally agree you should write everything down in chronological order and give a copy to the director, so they can't say that you didn't tell them all of it. Good luck.

I'm not sure but aren't you meant to have a certain period of time between the end of one shift and the start of the next? They could be breaking employment law here.

4 years with the company. Absolutely no issues whatsoever until last summer when a new manager took a dislike to me and spread rumors and made allegations about me. I raised a formal grievance that the director got involved in and he basically brushed it under the carpet. The manager was eventually fired, unrelated to my issue. But her presence as manager lost us an awful lot of staff. Before this, we used to do one week of early one week of lates, two people on the desk. Now that’s changed. They want same work done with one person on desk, and the late and early isn’t rotated anymore so it feels like constant lates impact my food, plans after work and going to the gym. I’ve missed house viewing etc because I did not get out of work on time in the past. Everyone else just gets to leave but nobody asks if it’s ok if I stay. I just don’t get a choice. Nobody to cover breaks, nobody to do a weekend, nobody to do an early after a late. It’s too much. I’m fed up being told one thing by management, them lacking back bone to stand behind it, and then I’m the villain.

Work your notice. Leave and get another job,

Should I go into work today? The meeting will not be held until tomorrow.

i understand they will have already made up their mind regarding the disciplinary.
do job searching today

Personally I would ring in sick.

Posted too soon

I would ring in sick and look for other jobs today.

Even if the outcome of the disciplinary is favourable to you, who'd you want to stay?

Yes, that was a bit daft but nothing you can do now.
If it’s affordable resign now before a formal disciplinary proceeding is started (unless it’s too late) as that can go on a reference and affect any future job prospects

I’d just resign today really. If you need some income, are there agencies in your industry? Can you sign up for agency work?

You were absolutely bonkers to turn down that other job. But it's done now. What are the chances of getting something else soon?

What if you don't have a reference from this current role?

I can put my old manager down as a reference but to be honest I need the money, I am so stressed about money. I’m hoping I have enough material on them with not paying Sunday pay, not giving lunch breaks, not leaving enough time between shifts, not acknowledging the right to disconnect and continuing to contact me while I’m out of work. Boundaries are not respected at all, ever.