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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

OP posts:
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10
CherryMaDeara · 27/07/2023 14:51

Fuck the police.

This makes me so angry.

I wonder if her ethnicity played a part, knowing a Muslim woman would be unlikely to want her community to be aware of these events.

bernieaa · 27/07/2023 14:52

CherryMaDeara · 27/07/2023 14:51

Fuck the police.

This makes me so angry.

I wonder if her ethnicity played a part, knowing a Muslim woman would be unlikely to want her community to be aware of these events.

That's making a lot of assumptions.

You don't know if she considers herself Muslim and she was also taking drugs that night....

Brk · 27/07/2023 14:53

CherryMaDeara · 27/07/2023 14:51

Fuck the police.

This makes me so angry.

I wonder if her ethnicity played a part, knowing a Muslim woman would be unlikely to want her community to be aware of these events.

Yes that was my first thought. Someone in that police station felt very safe attacking her and very confident that his colleagues would cover it up.

bernieaa · 27/07/2023 14:53

I can't stand the "poor BAME woman" because it's racist against white women.

No one deserves to be sexually assaulted full stop.

The same police force who allowed thousands of white British girls to be rapped etc by Asian men.

Men are the problem.

CherryMaDeara · 27/07/2023 14:59

I hate that my first thought is that I need to be even more compliant and obedient so this doesn’t happen to me.

CherryMaDeara · 27/07/2023 15:00

bernieaa · 27/07/2023 14:52

That's making a lot of assumptions.

You don't know if she considers herself Muslim and she was also taking drugs that night....

Taking drugs doesn’t mean she isn’t a Muslim.

Even if she isn’t practising the police will know her community would look down on her for being raped so she is likely to keep quiet.

CherryMaDeara · 27/07/2023 15:02

bernieaa · 27/07/2023 14:53

I can't stand the "poor BAME woman" because it's racist against white women.

No one deserves to be sexually assaulted full stop.

The same police force who allowed thousands of white British girls to be rapped etc by Asian men.

Men are the problem.

No, it’s not racist against white women. It’s recognising that a particular demographic has a different challenge than another.

AnSolas · 27/07/2023 15:06

Soontobe60 · 27/07/2023 14:31

What on earth are you going on about?

Lets try again

Do you think:

A) the woman was sexually assaulted and the police have made a choice to not inform her of this fact.

Or
B) the woman was assaulted and the police have made a choice to not inform her of this fact.

Or
C) Do you think the woman may have been sexually assaulted and the police have made a choice to not inform her of this fact.

Or
D) the woman may have been assaulted and the police have made a choice to not inform her of this fact.

Or
E) nothing happened to her.

Oblomov23 · 27/07/2023 15:16

This is disgraceful. We all know the police generally do a fine job. But not in this case. This is very bad indeed.

SoundTheSirens · 27/07/2023 15:23

TooBigForMyBoots · 27/07/2023 14:22

@Felix125 are you a policeman? Or a solicitor?

They're a police officer who likes to spend much of their downtime haranguing women, especially in FWR, who - understandably in light of an ever-growing litany of incidents - articulate a lack of trust in the police.

bernieaa · 27/07/2023 15:23

@CherryMaDeara they don't. No one wants their child or family member to be raped

Ponkyandthebrain · 27/07/2023 15:27

It’s still governed by the same act but a different section. Section 54 of the police and criminal evidence act allows you to search for something you consider the person may use to harm themselves or remove clothing and keep them if they believe the clothes may be used to harm themself. It’s not a common occurrence in my personal experience. The custody sgt really has to justify using it because it’s pretty dehumanising. I’ve checked the legislation and it doesn’t specifically require a record to be made surprisingly. But I expect that most force policy is that the custody record should have a record and justification as there is an inevitable complaint there and you really have to justify doing something like that. Still needs to be done by someone of the same sex. I have seen the NPCC guidance but as I say I think they’re wrong here. Both legally and ethically and their guidance is just that, guidance, it’s not law and I think they’re in conflict. If there are any legal experts on the thread Id be interested in their view and happy to stand corrected.

I take the point for the public removing clothes is removing clothes. It’s all horrible. It is I agree. The police also need to recognise when so much trust has been lost then we lose peoples faith to be able to carry out our jobs. But I think a debate about that should come with some facts about the laws and procedure that govern it which are accurately reported. It’s not difficult and it’s publically available. Again it’s a bugbear I have with the sky news report, not the woman complaining.

Ponkyandthebrain · 27/07/2023 15:41

If you feel harangued by me it’s not my intention. I suppose I feel as a woman and a detective specialising in violence against women, children and serious sexual assault maybe I have a view which is of interest or value to someone. I’m also potentially as much likely to be a victim who needs the service of the police as anyone. Surely it’s better for police to engage in debate and listen to womens views even if they are hard to hear to sometimes.

I’m not intending to be defensive or biased (as much as possible). But try to engage in reasoned debate and conversation about failings as I see them. I’m not going to say the police doesn’t have issues. Some forces are worse than others but I’d say some of the institutional misogyny I see is pretty widespread in terms of womens access to justice. I’ll be the first to say it, I’ve been saying it for a long time and I’m happy it’s being spoken about.

Dovetail40 · 27/07/2023 15:55

Ponkyandthebrain · 27/07/2023 15:41

If you feel harangued by me it’s not my intention. I suppose I feel as a woman and a detective specialising in violence against women, children and serious sexual assault maybe I have a view which is of interest or value to someone. I’m also potentially as much likely to be a victim who needs the service of the police as anyone. Surely it’s better for police to engage in debate and listen to womens views even if they are hard to hear to sometimes.

I’m not intending to be defensive or biased (as much as possible). But try to engage in reasoned debate and conversation about failings as I see them. I’m not going to say the police doesn’t have issues. Some forces are worse than others but I’d say some of the institutional misogyny I see is pretty widespread in terms of womens access to justice. I’ll be the first to say it, I’ve been saying it for a long time and I’m happy it’s being spoken about.

This has been hidden for a long time.
Colleagues covering for each others behaviour.
Whatapps group encouraging each other.
It does not give confidence.

OP posts:
Ponkyandthebrain · 27/07/2023 16:06

So some of the Casey report I don’t necessarily recognise in my own force. In that apparently widespread and blatant way she reports men behaving in the Met. But I have seen police men locked up with disgusting stuff on their phone. It’s common for us to see disgusting stuff on Mens phones when they’re locked up. It’s not necessarily illegal but it’s gross and misogynistic. Years ago I left an ex because I saw the vile conversations he had with his friends about his female colleagues and I lost all respect for him. I honestly despair of it. I know we can all say not my Nigel but it’s just not a minority of men who think and talk like this with their mates or look at horrible stuff. When police officers get investigated by work we tend to seize phones and go through them in detail so the whole filthy business comes out. I’m not excusing it. Far from it. We can improve vetting, standards, we can definitely improve what we do around crimes that affect women and how they are treated during searching or custody. There’s lots we can do. But can we improve men? Police officers aren’t a separate breed, they reflect the society we recruit from. In my experience they’re no better no worse. Not sure on that one I don’t know where to start. Sorry if anyone perceives this as sexist, it probably is, but it’s my experience and the crime statistics bear it out. I worry about how to guide my own son to become a good adult when all around him men will behave this way.

All of the above is my personal experience and feelings. It’s not fact and it’s certainly not the official view of policing.

Naunet · 27/07/2023 16:18

SoundTheSirens · 27/07/2023 15:23

They're a police officer who likes to spend much of their downtime haranguing women, especially in FWR, who - understandably in light of an ever-growing litany of incidents - articulate a lack of trust in the police.

Oh, another woman hater police officer then? How unsurprising.

Catchasingmewithspiders · 27/07/2023 17:18

TooBigForMyBoots · 27/07/2023 14:22

@Felix125 are you a policeman? Or a solicitor?

Felixs is MNs meaning expert on why its okay to strip women, up to and including teenage girls for the most spurious of reasons. Every thread about women being strip searched he pops up to "reassure" us it's all above board and totally justified even in circumstances where it very clearly isn't.

And he's adamant he belongs in the feminism space, taking up time, room and attention even though he clearly doesn't give a shit about women.

CherryMaDeara · 27/07/2023 18:30

bernieaa · 27/07/2023 15:23

@CherryMaDeara they don't. No one wants their child or family member to be raped

It appears that any form of nuance eludes you.

It’s well known that BAME women distrust a lot of support services and when coupled with fear of censure in the community, it’s logical to assume the police would have taken a calculated risk that she wouldn’t complain.

It’s nothing to do with anyone wanting a friend / relative to not get raped.

bernieaa · 27/07/2023 18:36

@CherryMaDeara you are really clutches at straws. Get out of here and stop making BAME women be eternal victims when all women are affected by this equally

Hibiscrubbed · 27/07/2023 18:55

KarmaStar · 26/07/2023 23:07

Let's get the facts first.
It's been sensationalized.
The police do a very difficult job and are always under attack.
But you get scared,worried who do you call?the very people who risk their lives every day for little or no thanks.
Don't judge or comment until you have all the information required to start accusing the police.

Partner a copper, per chance?

lookingforMolly · 27/07/2023 19:25

Ten years ago I was nearly sectioned by armed police.. but they could only section me if I stepped outside my house that evening for legal reasons I didn't understand... Although I was psychotic & I did need urgent psychiatric treatment I was too scared of them to step outside the house & be sectioned by them. And now it seems I was right to be scared.
Instead an officer came inside my house even though I'd had a knife, and talked to me and called the crisis team, and my care remained home based. He was very kind to me but I'm totally aware that is not the norm.

I also think from reading the sky article that its incredible what the police arrested the women concerned for (knocking glasses off a pc's face, swearing during a phone call!) when you consider what general nhs hospital staff put up with every day!
My friend recently got stamped on, punched and scratched by a lady at the elderly care ward in the hospital last week but she just had to get on with her job (not saying that's ok, no one should be physically assaulted at work).

But at the hospital they don't strip search patients to 'look for vapes' or whatever lame excuses the police come up with to leave women semi naked in cells.

Brefugee · 27/07/2023 19:36

IMustDoMoreExercise · 27/07/2023 14:41

What have I said that is piffle? I am just stating facts.

You are saying that you don't want to join the police, which agrees with exactly what I have said.

If what I am saying is piffle then what you must be saying is piffle too as you have agreed with what I have said.

People like you just expect other people to do the jobs that you don't want to do and expect them to put up with being spat on and stabbed. And you expect these people to be decent people. Well, it isn't going to happen as long as our society is full of scum.

You didn't understand.

I have served in the army in trying circumstances in the 80s. I did jobs that nobody else wanted to do, and additionally i kept the russian 3rd shock army rolling their tanks over the north german plain.

You are welcome.

If you are denying that the police force(s) is/are institutionally racist, sexist, misogynist and corrupt - you are denying reality. and i have no further need to read your waffle.

Ponkyandthebrain · 27/07/2023 21:33

That must have been very frightening for you. But I would say that I really don’t think the police are a suitable response for people in mental health crisis in the way they’re now used. It’s around 60% of front line officer time. They’re not doctors or nurses. They just have some basic mental health inputs and the legal power to use force and detain. Is that really what we want as a society? Because it really is left to the police when someone is at the emergency crisis point and pick up a weapon or harm someone without intending to. No one else is coming. You’re right about sectioning but there are other powers they could have used to have forced entry if they thought you were a risk to yourself which would have been even more bloody terrifying for you. I’d much rather a qualified professional came out but it’s just never been available as an emergency service so it’s dealt with by police officers. Sometimes doing their best and getting it wrong, sometimes doing a crap job and getting it wrong. Can you imagine having a heart attack or a stroke and getting a bloody police officer turning up to have a go. Why is mental health not considered worthy of a health response.

The vape thing… you can’t do a search in custody under s54 just because someone has a vape. Nor can you do a strip search because it’s not an illegal item. You would have to be able to show under s54 you have reason to believe they are going to use it to cause harm to themselves or someone else. They might have done based on her history or some other factor. I used to have a lot of dealings with a poor girl who used to conceal batteries and try to swallow them in custody. Terrible complex mental health issues and in and out of police custody. But on the other hand it might also have been completely unreasonable. I’ve no idea. It’s under investigation and she will get answers.

Ponkyandthebrain · 27/07/2023 21:35

And I’m not saying I think ‘it’s a waste of our time’. I don’t. I just think we’re not qualified for it and we never will be. People are being massively let down, put in danger, even lives lost because they’re in custody instead of a hospital

Elemist · 27/07/2023 21:41

Nodramaatleasttoday · 27/07/2023 00:36

Not exactly the same thing. But I once had contact with the police ( hadn’t committed a crime and was behaving myself) but was in a very vulnerable state and a policeman was left alone with me to ‘look after’ me. He was overly familiar and unprofessional and offering all sorts of life advice before beginning to compliment me on my appearance and stating he ‘should have gone off duty hours ago but thought I was special and deserved looking after’ I’d very much sobered up by then and was dealing with the horrific events that preceded this so was beginning to become defensive and asking him to leave my house , also my dog had taken a dislike to him and was behaving defensively. He became visibly irritated at my stoicism and my refusal to want to be hugged or ‘looked after’ while my dog sat and snarled at his feet. He left around 5 hours after the other officers, a bit grumpy and without any sort of professional reference to support or whatever. I believe he was one of the ‘bad ones’ especially when later I saw the case evidence which had stated he’d left with the other officers following this incident. I reported this and provided evidence but never heard back from them.

Gosh that's really frightening, flipping heck. They cover up for each other so the corrupt ones get away with it time and time again.

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