To not want to be thought of as old?

[PrinceHaz]

I’ve met up with DD’s boyfriend’s mum a couple of times. DD says his mum thinks I’m really nice person but a bit old. I am 52 and she is 44.
It really stung for some reason. Although I am ‘old’ (I’m definitely not young), it was still a shock to hear it spoken plainly.
I don’t think I’m very old fashioned and I’ve always looked young for my age (until now).
AIBU to feel bothered by this?

[FrenchandSaunders]

How old is your DD! And why would she tell you that .... or most importantly, why would his mum even say that to them! She sounds weird, I'd distance myself, no need to get involved if only a BF

[Mamai90]

What a bizarre way to describe someone. Sounds like something a child or teenager would say, not a 44 year old woman describing someone 8 years her elder. 'Nice but old'? She sounds batshit.

[bibbityboppityboo]

Is she a young 44? I've met people in their 40s and I'm just 30 - I still feel "older" than them when we compare lifestyles 😂 nothing to do with physical age in my experience.

[PrinceHaz]

@FrenchandSaunders

How old is your DD! And why would she tell you that .... or most importantly, why would his mum even say that to them! She sounds weird, I'd distance myself, no need to get involved if only a BF

DD is 17. She wouldn’t normally tell me something that would make me uncomfortable. I think it just came about due to the conversation we were having.

[BrendaMcPherson]

Has she been 44 and you'd been in your 70s, I could understand the other mom saying this. But she's only 8 years younger!! What a dick!

[PinkIcedCream]

My DH is old.

He is older than me by a few years but I’m only think of him as old because he likes music that two decades earlier than my preferred music. 😂 Maybe that’s all it is?

[Sugarplumfury]

Sounds like she defines old rather differently to the majority of people. 54 is not old.

YANBU to feel bothered, because that’s how you feel, but I would try hard to see this as not personal and just a the rather unusual idea of what ‘a bit old’ is.

[cakecoffeecakecoffee]

It’s a weird comment to make! Did she expect DD to have a younger mum??

DH and I are older than a lot of DDs friends parents , but we’re not “old” as such. I might understand a kid saying that out loud but not an adult.

[PrinceHaz]

@bibbityboppityboo

Is she a young 44? I've met people in their 40s and I'm just 30 - I still feel "older" than them when we compare lifestyles 😂 nothing to do with physical age in my experience.

His mum goes to gigs, has youngish interests and does seem more late 30s maybe.
I wouldn't say I’m an old 52, but maybe I appeared that way to her, maybe it was a way of explaining that she and I don’t have a reason to connect apart from having children who are together.

[BubziOwl]

What a totally bizarre thing for the mum to say to your daughter!!

Maybe she said something a bit different and your daughter has just worded it wrong when relaying it? Maybe the mum said something like she was surprised to find out how old you are (as in, you look younger than you are)?

[Topseyt123]

Don't listen to this bollocks.

If she did say that then there will be karma, as before she knows it she will be in her fifties too, and it isn't old.

I will be turning 57 at the end of next month. She'd probably consider me an antique. I don't care though.

You can't let bollocks like this really bother you. We all grow older, even though as young people many of us naively thought for some reason that we never would.😉

[NessieMcNessface]

It’s hard it know what she means by ‘old’. I think I’d take it as a compliment! She sounds rather immature tbh. I wouldn’t overthink it, just laugh it off and don’t doubt yourself. She may perceive herself as still a ‘young thing’ who has a bit of an issue with the idea of getting older, whereas you may be a bit more mature (appropriately so) in your manner; hence the comment.

[PrinceHaz]

She didn’t say this directly to DD by the way, she’d never do that. She said it in conversation with her son.

[Wiccan]

Yeah Id distance from it you don't need that type of negativity in your life sounds like shit stirring to me .My DD has been with her partner 10 years and has a child and I have never set eyes on his parents or family .

[PrinceHaz]

@NessieMcNessface

It’s hard it know what she means by ‘old’. I think I’d take it as a compliment! She sounds rather immature tbh. I wouldn’t overthink it, just laugh it off and don’t doubt yourself. She may perceive herself as still a ‘young thing’ who has a bit of an issue with the idea of getting older, whereas you may be a bit more mature (appropriately so) in your manner; hence the comment.

Thanks. This makes me feel better.

[Wiccan]

@PrinceHaz

She didn’t say this directly to DD by the way, she’d never do that. She said it in conversation with her son.

They never do OP they let there son or daughter do the shit for them .

[SusieTrevelyan]

Tell your DD not to be a tell tale tit and also tell her boyfriend's mum that you do not appreciate having negative comments made about you behind your back. What is there were more serious issues at hand? What would boyfriend's mother say then? Sticky beak?!

[bridgetreilly]

You can’t control what other people think about you, and it says more about them than it does about you.

[MeinKraft]

@PrinceHaz

She didn’t say this directly to DD by the way, she’d never do that. She said it in conversation with her son.

Sounds like Chinese whispers (is that still what's it's called?)

[DontEatCrisps]

Very odd thing for her to have said and also a bit odd that your daughter passed it on. You’re as old as you are, what’s to comment on?

[BunnyBettChettwynd]

@PrinceHaz

She didn’t say this directly to DD by the way, she’d never do that. She said it in conversation with her son.

If you've only met her a couple of times how do you know she would never say this directly to your DD?

You don't know her at all really and you don't need to. Don't let this woman influence the way you feel about yourself, her opinion is unimportant.

[Oblahdeeoblahdoe]

Is she trying to be 'the hip young thing' in her son's eyes? It's a mean thing to say but at least you've been given a warning as to what's she like OP.

[Campingsuperstar]

Come on bro you can’t vibe together, you chillax in legit different wayz. Can’t be no fam with your differing chibes.

and maybe that’s a good thing.

[PurpleButterflyWings]

@Campingsuperstar

Come on bro you can’t vibe together, you chillax in legit different wayz. Can’t be no fam with your differing chibes.

and maybe that’s a good thing.

😂

[PurpleButterflyWings]

LOL @Campingsuperstar