Children should be told to give up their seat on a bus if there's an adult who finds it harder to stand.

[DesolationRow]

I was on a packed bus today with my friend who's in her late seventies. She's not frail but is clearly an older woman who walks quite slowly and hasn't got the best balance. We were going to the seaside and as it's the first day of the school holidays there were lots of families with young children on the bus. Many of the seats were occupied by children from toddlers to early teens and absolutely none of them offered her their seat and their parents neither told them to nor offered their own seats.

Do most people now really think a child should have a seat of their own when there's someone who needs it more? If so, why?

I realise there will be some children with disabilities/ conditions that mean they do need a seat of their own but most preschool children can sit on their parents lap and most children over five can stand for a bus journey can't they?

But the issue here is do you too, of you're able bodied? Because as much as no kids got up, neither did any adults. It's common courtesy past the age of 18 too

This honestly pisses me off. A child is less able to stand safely than an adult. A younger adult should stand for an older one, sure. But I just spent over an hour on a train where my 6 year old stood whilst adults sat all around. It’s not easy for a 6 year old to stand for an hour.

Most children over the age of 7 can stand quite safely on a bus,

Watching 10-11yr old boys physically push adults including an OAP out of the way to sit down - watched by their mothers, who just smiled and siad well done boys. I think shows you the entitled behaviour starts young enabled by the parents of these little precious darlings.

I got roasted for suggesting otherwise on a thread recently.

Don't agree - my 7 nearly 8 year old is a) very thin and gets jiggled about and b) pretty nervous so having to stand away from me (and younger child on my lap) wouldn't make him feel proud, it would make him feel anxious - v. busy South East London buses for context.

Children are still people; albeit little ones. Grown ass adults - including parents who can safely/happily stand a distance from their kids - are the ones who should be standing and modelling decent social awareness.

For what it's worth, when we get on the bus/tube, adults will often offer their seats to the kids. Generally I refuse and get them to remain standing but adults are often insistent. My point is that I don't sense a general expectation that little kids should stand for older adults, nor an outrage when they don't. The eyerolling is at the able bodied adults.

Any able bodied person should give up their seat to someone who needs it more than them. However, as a child I was taught to give up my seat, and did so - I never had any trouble standing on a bus!

When I was a child there were signs saying that children had to stand if there were no seats left for adults. It was a condition of paying half fare.

As for teens being 5ft 0 that's how tall I am, the same as I was at 11.

I’m not sure what the situation is in the UK but in Australia children receive free travel by public transport when travelling to and from school. One of the conditions of this is you must stand for paying travellers. So most kids (not all) learn from an early age to stand when an adult gets on the bus.

As a teenager I was standing on a bus and a woman got on and very loudly gave a school child a lecture for daring to sit while she was standing. He apologised and reached down for his crutches. There were a lot of stifled laughs from everyone on the bus and of course she immediately had to back down. Hopefully she learned a lesson about not immediately jumping to outrage.

This attitude explains exactly what happened. No sympathy, no empathy for someone older , frailer etc. And no doubt teaching your children, if you have any, the same. Sad, tbh.

YANBU but most posters will tell you that you are. Many parents are bringing up selfish entitled people.

Of course everyone is assuming that all children are able bodied. Not all disabilities are visible. You can't assume that just because someone is young that they don't have a need for a seat.

I would get up and offer my seat if someone asked me for it but i wouldn't make my children do it because they aren't able to stand.

Why are you patronising her and calling her sweetheart? She didn’t say she has to have a seat.

On the bus in question, were there priority seats? In London, buses, trains and tubes have designated priority seats near the doors, clearly marked, where people are expected to give priority to those in need (pregnant, unable to stand etc.) In a scenario where a bus has priority seating, I would have expected your friend to first speak to the individuals occupying the priority seats (if not visibly in need or wearing a badge) before turning to children further down the bus. https://tfl.gov.uk/transport-accessibility/features-on-board#:~:text=All%20buses%2C%20Tubes%2C%20trains%20and,seat%20if%20you%20need%20one.

Additionally, in your hypothetical scenario, you mention that "someONE" needed a seat, so then why would it be "poor" behaviour for an adult to vacate their seat, but leave their children seated? I would only consider that poor behaviour if two people needed a seat (i.e. occupying three seats and two are needed), but in your scenario only one person required a seat, which would be resolved by the adult standing?

I think there is a middle ground. I don’t think adults are automatically entitled to a seat over a child but I would free up a seat for someone in need by putting a young child on my lap or having an older child lean against my legs or between me and the side of the bus.

This. My mother would have died of shame if we’d sat while an adult, any adult, stood. If there was nothing to hold onto we’d lean against her. I taught my DD the same, and she’s now teaching her kids.

I’d have sat a young child on my knee or I’d have offered my seat. I wouldn’t see a lady in her 70’s stand

As an older one, who sometimes has to use a stick due to a painful mobility and balance issue, I am. I never gave it a thought as a youngster, would stand as a matter of course. Its how I, and almost everyone of my generation, was brought up. And, on double deckers, we always went upstairs. My (now almost middle aged) children, grew up doing the same, and as adults would still stand for those who might appear to NEED (not want) to sit down. I wouldn’t expect a young child to stand, but I’ve put a small grandchild on my knee to free up a seat.

The easy access seats particularly are there for people with mobility issues. They seem to be favoured nowadays by people who could walk a little further down the bus, or up the couple of steps to the main body of the tram. A little awareness might help.

Why didn't you give up your seat OP? My coastlines bus is 2 hours long and pay £15 a ticket.

I wouldn't expect a child to stand all that way. We're there no seats at all left? Or just not near the front?

How long was the ride? If it's a long journey and parents have a long day planned they probably didn't want to tire the kids out.
I wouldn't make a child under 11 stand purely because they'd be at the front away from me but would my older kids to stand for give up my own seat.

Where does it say OP had a seat? If she did surely she would have let her friend take it, and no need for this thread

If my child was young I'd have him sit on my lap. If he was too old then I would stand myself, I've often given up a seat for someone who needs it more.

I would stand or have my 3 year old on my lap to free up on seat, but no, unless every other seat was taking by a frail older person or younger children, I wouldn't expect my 8 year old to stand.
If they genuinely were the most able person to stand, I'd stand with them with 3 year old in the seat next to us.

That’s just ridiculous. Why is an adult entitled to a seat over a child? They are not less because they are children.

Why? Dark ages are long gone where kids are seen as less.

And there it is.

God forbid we teach children to be considerate, polite, to take their turn, to learn that sometimes they are not the centre of the universe at all times to all people. Because that would make them subservient. So that is where all these entitled, rude, “I know my rights”, I’m-alright-Jack people with zero resilience are coming from.

It is not subservient to help someone else. Or show consideration. Or be kind. Or put yourself out in a small way to benefit someone else just because you can. It’s how a civilised society works.