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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Don't want to share my car!

106 replies

McScrooge · 25/07/2023 19:47

Been sharing my current car with my sister for a while now. It worked out well as she'd do longer distant drives for me that I couldn't do at the time and that was the agreement in turn for her using my car.

All was grand, until she started getting a bit big for her boots and expecting the car to be there everyday when she wanted it, and would kick off when I was using my car and wouldn't be at home.
She no longer does any long distance driving for me either and hasn't for about a year now mainly because I'm forcing myself to do the drives to build my confidence.

I'm getting a new car next week and she's kicked off that I haven't already stuck her on the insurance, I can't put her on the insurance until it's live and gone through on the day and didn't like the fact I told her I wanted a few days to get used to my new car by myself.

AIBU to think if she's kicking off already then I'm best not sticking her on the insurance at all?
It'll cause world war 3 but all she does is pay for petrol, she doesn't pay for anything else like MOTS, upkeep etc and drives it more than me!
I appreciate all the driving she has done for me in the past but I really just want the car for myself now and not have to worry about having to get home to avoid a kick off or have a stupid rota for using my own car or do I sound like a Scrooge? Envy

OP posts:
Therealjudgejudy · 25/07/2023 19:53

Tell her to buy her own bloody car!
Come on OP, stop being a mug

Caroparo52 · 25/07/2023 19:55

Don't put her on the insurance. Your car.
She can get her own cheeky mare.

TerfTalking · 25/07/2023 19:56

Well she has the dream there doesn’t she? A car when she wants, on demand, with no outgoings other than the petrol she uses.

sack her off, tell her in MN style that it doesn’t work for you any longer.

Mmmmdanone · 25/07/2023 19:56

She's being awful! What a privilege to drive a car and only worry about petrol. If she'd been more considerate then OK, but demanding as well? No way!

RachelNoire · 25/07/2023 19:57

Nah don’t let her drive your new car, she sounds like a bloody nightmare. I don’t blame you for not wanting to add her on the insurance.

ZenNudist · 25/07/2023 19:59

Caroparo52 · 25/07/2023 19:55

Don't put her on the insurance. Your car.
She can get her own cheeky mare.

This!

FGS. Are you a woman or a doormat?!

TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 25/07/2023 19:59

Absolutely no, it's your car, tell her to buy her own.

AmandaHoldensLips · 25/07/2023 19:59

Bloody hell. Are you both very young? Is she aware that adults usually have their own cars?

CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 25/07/2023 20:01

Jesus Christ!
No YANBU I wouldn't share my car in this way for this reason.
How nice to drive a car and only worry about petrol! She's taking the piss, if she needs to drive that often why doesn't she get her own?

Kazplus2 · 25/07/2023 20:01

Why font you ask her if she wants to buy your old car?

McScrooge · 25/07/2023 20:01

Doormat I think! Well have been!
My entire family have stuck up for her in the past when she's kicked off over it, saying "well mcscrooge she has driven you to a lot of places so you need to be considerate and have a rota in place so this doesn't happen."

She doesn't even offer to drive me long distance places anymore and when she did it was only once or twice a year to a hospital appointment which I now do myself. Think I'm going to have to risk fall out with my whole family over this. Sad

OP posts:
McScrooge · 25/07/2023 20:03

AmandaHoldensLips · 25/07/2023 19:59

Bloody hell. Are you both very young? Is she aware that adults usually have their own cars?

No she's in her 40s.

OP posts:
Cosycover · 25/07/2023 20:03

This is mental. Why doesn't she buy a car?

Middlelanehogger · 25/07/2023 20:05

She can get her own car.

Good on you OP for having the courage to take on those longer drives as well.

TomatoSandwiches · 25/07/2023 20:06

Wtf, no, don't put her on the insurance, she can get her own car ffs.

BatheInTheLight · 25/07/2023 20:10

Maybe ask her "why do you think you are entitled to use MY car?" And go from there...

McScrooge · 25/07/2023 20:11

Thank you! Was tough at first but wanted to have my own independence.

Just fed up of the car causing arguments now and just want it to end. It's causing me a lot of headaches. Seems every month there's a kick off over it.
I have said to her I'm fed up of the arguments over the car, and she'll say well I need it because I struggle to walk (she doesn't she does a extremely active sport that you need legs for!) and expects me to take sympathy.

OP posts:
mumwon · 25/07/2023 20:11

as they say in mumsnet language "no is a complete sentence"

StillWantingADog · 25/07/2023 20:13

if you’re getting a new car offer her a reasonable deal for the old car

I’m not sure how it has come to this tbh. You never “shared” a car if she never contributed to its upkeep. She borrowed YOUR car.

CockSpadget · 25/07/2023 20:16

A “rota” to use your own car!?! Fuck that for a bag of spanners! She’s taken the piss for long enough OP, don’t put her on the insurance, and if your family fall out with you over it, tell them to buy her a car! She’s not your responsibility. Enjoy your new car, all to yourself.

AmandaHoldensLips · 25/07/2023 20:18

Sod that. Just tell her you're not sharing your car anymore and if she wants a set of wheels she'll have to buy her own.

WhatADrabCarpet · 25/07/2023 20:21

She's been using you.
She needs to buy her own car.

You don't need her to be a co-driver any more.

Stop enabling her to drive your car.

You're both old enough.

FinallyHere · 25/07/2023 20:26

Why would you add her to the insurance? Seems like your new car is the perfect time to change things up so they suit you better.

Hesma · 25/07/2023 20:28

I totally get where you’re coming from but it sounds like she’s become entitled so that’s going to be a tricky conversation. Just be honest with her and good luck!

WildfirePonie · 25/07/2023 20:30

Tell her to buy her own car! What a CF!