Is it really that hard.....? 🤔

[StillGotBabyBrain]

My family is vegan, not a massive deal.

When the school has events, no vegan option, so everyone gets a bbq or food catered and we don't. Not even a dairy free alternative for hot drinks! (Primary school, high school is better).

When they go for sleepovers I get worried parents asking me what should they do, can I provide food and drinks for them...

Pubs and restaurants barely cater for adults let alone add options for the kids menu.

Went to a choir meeting the other week, nothing I could eat from the food included in my ticket price.

Am I being unreasonable thinking it's really not that difficult to provide bread and houmous or vegetable dishes? They're suitable for everyone, so isn't a waste of food! Blows my mind.

It's highly restricted. The nature of the diet is that you are RESTRICTED from eating anything animal based. This restricts people from using 75% of everything they already have meaning that have to go out and intentionally buy extra things which is costly and wasteful after the vegan has left as they probably won't be used again.

Excellent suggestion and one I used to make to any parent complaining about a PTA event when I was Chair

It’s ironic that many posters are saying it’s restrictive and that anything bought won’t be used up

Why are you restricting your diet by not using it?

I think many people think it’s more restrictive than it is and panic.

I get “whatever do you eat”?!

Anything that doesn’t contain animal products. Which is the vast majority of food tbh.

Ah, but the OP already countered that she volunteers at two other causes and doesn’t have the time for PTA.

Schools cater for the masses and at primary school events that's usually burgers and hot dogs.

Im lucky at our school as we have a very high population of Indian children who are from vegetarian families so every bbq also does an amazing falafel wrap with salad and has the best vegetarian curry tent run by parents as well as the usual burger and hot dog offerings.

My daughter usually has to eat vegan when out due to allergies and there are always options. Pato Lounge do a lovely hummus option which always goes down a treat. It's more about finding out in advance where you have a good choice of food rather than just rocking up and expecting to be catered for.

As for parents - imagine you have a really fussy eater as a kid, only chicken nuggets, plain pasta or white bread so that is what you deal with. Then suddenly a vegan friend comes to play and you dont even know exactly what being vegan entails. It can be a mine field and a lot of parents are so scared of getting it wrong they will ask you to bring something. I have the same with my daughter. She spent a long time not being invited anywhere because people didnt want her to accidentally eat something at their house and be ill. So instead of asking about it, they just refused to even have her to play which to this day still has a negative impact on her friendships. She's not so bad it will see her in hospital or anything and i do explain that but still it's a case of too much hassle. Which i find so bizzare as when i have her friends over they are all so god damn fussy i have to make a different dinner for every kid as none of them will even touch the same food (at 11yrs old!) except my kid that hoovers up anything she's not allergic too. Do i think that's an amazing way to spend my day? Not really as i have massive health issues and getting a meal done can be a huge problem some days but i do so my kids can have regular play days. Some (but not all) dont want any hassle or difference at all and that's their choice.

It's just something that people with allergies, intolerances and dietary preferences have to work around. Not every place can cater for every need - you just have to scout about in advance. Ive been a veggie since the early 90s and back then school food was jacket potato and cheese in the winter every day or cheese salad every day in the summer, not even vegetarian cheese because they didnt understand that and salad was a handful of iceberg lettuce, a few waffers of cucumber and a slice of tomato. Eating out the only option was always veggie lasagne (good job i liked lasagne! But it gets boring) . So things have come a long way since then!

Sadly I do actually know someone who does care about that stuff
Same about the printer ink I didn't even know about that until I came a post one time when someone was questioning what they should do about printing in library since the ink used probably isn't vegan

Fair enough but she can’t criticise how the PTA do things unless she’s willing to help.
I don’t think people have any concept of how much work goes into PTA events. There are risk assessments and so much more admin to do before even considering the logistics of the event. I know that catering for vegans is just 1 more thing but on top of everything else it’s one thing too many. Especially when you are trying to accommodate allergies, religious restrictions and other things.
I remember being absolutely run ragged on a very hot sports day trying to run an event to raise funds and I was also trying to find cover for selling ice pops in the playground so I could watch my own child compete in at least 1 event (and juggling work calls and emails). I was almost sent over the edge by a grandparent complaining about the lack of tea

AND my kid never got to be Mary!!

I shared a flat with a vegan once. Every single time I made an effort to cook for him, he moaned about what I had made. Not the fact that it wasn’t properly vegan (it was!) but that it wasn’t imaginative enough. I’m a decent cook but it obviously didn’t cut it. Now, I wouldn’t even bother. YOU say that ‘even just some veggies are ok’ but I bet many vegans or vegetarians would criticise us carnivores if that was all we provided for them. Hence many of us don’t bother with the effort any longer.

Imagine the poor old PTA catering for nut/ sesame free, dairy free, wheat free, soya free, halal, kosher and vegan. What is left to serve? Something that doesn't appeal to 95% of the intended audience.

Basically, when you are prepared to pay for the extra time and care required for a specialist diet, then you will find a choice available. But individuals, community groups and restaurants will each do what they can within their resources and what is economically or commercially viable.

I love the way you’re basing your opinion on one vegan

I'm living in a small town these days - without the wide range of food shops I've been used to. But, even in this small town, catering for a vegan could be done just from going in the small (by my standards) Tesco here and picking up one of those large tubs of decent-quality readymade hummus, a vegan "cheeze" or two (though I don't get them normally myself - there are one or two that even more conventional eaters like and so would finish off), a decent-quality readymade salad or two, a "nicer" loaf of bread and a carton of reasonable quality non-dairy bread spread and a carton of plant milk (they'd probably be okay with any except soya - which many people don't like). One would have fruit in anyway. Bingo = job done and no cooking involved and leftovers could be eaten by everyone else if there were any - so as not to waste. That's not a huge deal of extra work to be done - just a question of picking up a few other bits when one is in Tesco anyway. Put like that - where one doesnt have to do a scrap of cooking per se = how easy is that?

That's really bad! I know a few people who cannot eat quorn, it's a form of mould and so there are a number of people allergic to it!

Yes, always ask if there's anything they cannot have. Having had cafés and generally not wanting to kill anyone, it's second nature to ask.

Someone else said I get offended when parents ask me what they can eat, that's not true, I do help and I do send food with my kids if the parents can't sort it. It's just after a time, you'd think they'd learn, well I would.

I've said through this that MY kids would be happy with simple things, I'm not saying your kids would, but mine would be happy with something in the oven or houmous or toast with jam etc. It's really not as hard as people panic it might be. But from reading this I can see some people are genuinely scared of doing something wrong, and that's caring so I understand that.

We go and eat at my dad's, he will cook us all vegan food, in his kitchen using utensils that have been used for non vegan food.

When we go out to say wagamamas that do have lovely vegan options, they are cooking meat for others at the same time. It's just a separate area of the grill.

On a BBQ you can place a bit of tin foil or a small pan on the bbq to stop cross contamination.

When preparing food at home, if you do the prep first, you would naturally (I hope) prep the veg first so everything would be clean, then you do the meat etc after so there's no cross contamination.

You might be surprised to know that when we first went vegan, I did not have to rush out and buy a whole new pantry store, mostly all that was in my store was plantbased, I just didn't add animals to the food anymore.

@Iolani thanks for the understanding, it's really hard to see people say I'm neglecting and causing my children mental harm and physical harm. They're amazing children 😍 and I'm not a bad mum, as you'll understand, I do what I think is absolutely best for them.

@WannaBeRecluse I hope you're doing okay, it's not nice to have a poorly child. One of my kids has a condition which she is in medicated remission for now, so I know it is not easy before that stage. Sorry your friends aren't being supportive to you. I don't think they mean it, I've noticed people just don't know what to do or say. Keep well and hopefully all will be well 🙏

I've never had an issue being vegan, always options on the menu. Recently went to Disney World and was surprised they had a vegan option everywhere. I think the UK has come a long way since the 2000's when all I could have was chips! 😂 But Recently learnt I can't have gluten, now thats hard ☹️

I can't understand that. I'm really happy if people make the effort. Even more so if it includes people cooking a dish for us.

I think some people have high expectations regardless though, not just vegans. I've seen threads on here numerous times of people turning their nose up at food people have spent hours concocting. I don't think that's just a 'vegan' thing.

I'd have said to your flatmate that they can do the cooking if yours is not good enough.

The only time I complained about the plantbased food I was given, was at a frank and bennys a few years ago. When they put raw bacon on my salad... and then when it came back, it just tasted like deep fried salad. Truly awful.

We live rurally and the local 'town' to us has numerous pubs that do not have one vegan entry. I know in bigger towns there's better options. But it's a drive for us. That's all I am saying.

To be fair, most friends don't know. My one friend I'm sharing with who is supportive is vegan. She's the good type. When we go out I always check the menu to make sure it will accommodate her too. No problems with her at all. She's lovely.

It's the other type, like my former friend who wouldn't come over to socialise if animal products of any kind were to be sighted, and got themselves kicked out of community camp because of their reaction to other people were cooking meat, that is the issue. Fortunately they're a minority.

I'm fine thanks. Unfortunately once you've got one autoimmune condition you can get more, and we're on that track. I don't think veganism is the answer (though most people could do with much less animal product and more plants). This planet has way too much in the way of chemicals that I think make more difference.

Yes it is, we don't have gluten very much as it doesn't make me feel very good. Most of what I cook is gluten free, knorr vegetable stock cubes are now gluten free as well! 😃😃 I had to change our flours and a few other bits but mostly I realised it always was mostly gluten free.

I find wraps don't make me feel awful.

Found a really nice bakery in london who send great gf bread out. https://www.mygfbakery.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjwq4imBhBQEiwA9Nx1Bg75kOc67TJ5InW5s-KKHtn8aPmfEMxe30eRP07bUkBhoySqJW1AHBoCsiwQAvD_BwE
But damn it is expensive.

Hope you find easy swaps 😀

I'm not a one trick pony, I care about lots of different things and the overuse of chemicals is definitely one of them.

Glad you do have a friend that's supportive. Good luck. 👍🏻

I don't think there is a humane way to get rid of cockroaches. They are pretty robust and vile, we fought a war with them throughout my childhood. Eventually it turned out the a few doors away a dominatrix had a cockroach infested cell in her cellar. The mind boggles but however much everyone else tried they were obviously spreading from her safe haven for them. Once she was raided and evicted it still took time but eventually it was under control.

My advice is if you see one squash it fast, if they are allowed to breed you will have a terrible time. I have read (don't know if it is true) that if left to their own devices you will have a million within a year.

I didn't have an easy childhood including losing a parent but the thing that haunts me is cockroaches. If you've once woken up with them in your bed I don't think you ever get over it.

Bees and wasps don't worry me, I will happily let them crawl on me and I've never been stung. I suppose I might feel differently if I'd been stung.

I think the human race has messed up their dna and things are beyond repair.

How do you feel about people who make their cats and dogs be vegan?

I hope your child is doing OK, children in hospital is so tough isn't it. I remember my 3 year old in hospital and at one point we both had our heads on a pillow crying together. No need to worry about what others want to eat, just look after yourself.

Thanks. :-) I hope your child is doing okay now and it wasn't something that lasts. I'm quite used to this drill but my heart hurts for them.

But that is what she can base it on. I've said earlier I had two of my kids with vegan partners at one time, one was a joy one was a misery and nothing was right. If I'd only known the misery that would obviously influence my view of vegans just as if I'd only known the joy I'd have a much more positive view.

I also had the joy of working with two "holider than thou" vegans who couldn't refrain from their squeals of horror that someone was eating meat or butter or having milk in their tea. Honestly it got a bit boring after the first week never mind it going on for months. They even demanded work supplied a separate set of cups/plates/utensils that meat eaters wouldn't be allowed to use. They didn't get anywhere with that one. Those sort of vegans get all vegans a bad name. Thinking about it if there was a vegan PR expert they would do so much for the image of vegans if they could get those sort of vegans to be less entitled and obnoxious.

Mine is all grown up but it was 8 or 9 years of hospitals and operations. It isn't easy is it. The thing I hated most was people telling me things like children were dying in a famine somewhere. I could hardly cope with the pain of my child's suffering, expecting me to take on the sorrow of thousands and thousands of others wasn't something I could cope with. We all have our limits and sometimes we are holding on by our fingernails.

Good luck, I hope the hospital are able to help. I hated going to the hospital but after 9 years I actually cried when he was discharged and I said goodbye to the people who had helped him.