Page 30 | Is it really that hard.....? 🤔

StillGotBabyBrain · 2023-07-24T22:23:59+00:00

My family is vegan, not a massive deal. When the school has events, no vegan option, so everyone gets a bbq or food catered and we don't. Not even a dairy free alternative for hot drinks! (Primary school, high school is better). When they go for sleepovers I get worried parents asking me what should they do, can I provide food and drinks for them... Pubs and restaurants barely cater for adults let alone add options for the kids menu. Went to a choir meeting the other week, nothing I could eat from the food included in my ticket price. Am I being unreasonable thinking it's really not that difficult to provide bread and houmous or vegetable dishes? They're suitable for everyone, so isn't a waste of food! Blows my mind.

Teajenny7 · 27/07/2023 00:06

We took our own cheese, bread, and dressing to vegan friend's luncheon. I asked for a naked salad. My husband has to carry an epi pen as he is allergic to preservatives, quorn, some nuts (but not peanuts!). He has to keep soy products to a minimum.
He use to eat virtually everything until he had a reaction to quorn meat served at another friends house. He swelled up and had difficulty breathing. He was seen by an NHS allergist and immunologist.
His diet is now fresh meat , vegetables, dairy. He can now tolerate a little soya in some foods. Seemingly, it is not unusual reaction. In the 90s he had a minor reaction to quorn and had always avoided it. The friend who served it hadn't let on it was quorn meat lasagne. Three mouthfuls was enough for the blue light to hospital 5 years ago.
The Consultant stressed natural foods without preservatives. Nothing artifical.

WannaBeRecluse · 27/07/2023 00:14

StillGotBabyBrain · 26/07/2023 22:19

I do not pay for the harm of animals. That's completely against my belief.

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It's impossible to eat and not harm some animals. When your protein alternatives and vegetables are harvested, plenty of animals (mostly insects) suffer. Is all your food organic, or do you buy it sprayed with pesticides which harms creatures perceived as lesser? You eat insects. They come with the food we all buy. It's impossible to avoid.

Newbie887 · 27/07/2023 00:44

Another problem is the use of animal manure on arable crops. All arable crops are sprayed with it, unless you are sourcing certified vegan vegetables (does such a thing exist? Probably but they are not mainstream or being bought by non-vegans). Therefore all the lovely vegan fruits and vegetables you are preparing are not in fact vegan. Ditto for all the friends who try to cater for you.

Now I know this is hammering the point to the bitter end and is probably sounding nit-picky. But if you are going to turn your nose up at a vegan sandwich that is sat on the same plate as a meat sandwich, or a vegan burger that is cooked on a grill next to a meat burger, then you are taking it to the extreme anyway.

We had a Muslim family over for a bbq the other day. I made sure not to buy sausages and to get some soft drinks in. That was it. We had beef burgers, chicken, cheese, salad, standard burger buns. A vegan couldn’t have eaten any of these things, the diet is much more restrictive. So to try to compare yourselves to those on a Muslim, or nut free, or vegetarian, or even coeliac diet, is not like for like.

If our friends had been vegan of course I would have made sure the bbq was vegan. But I would have had to double check what they could eat. I wouldn’t have been asking to be annoying, only out of concern of getting it right.

But community events like school, church, village fairs etc cannot reasonably be expected to cater for vegans. Are they going to get in a separate bbq to grill the two vegan burgers needed on the day? Be reasonable.

neslop · 27/07/2023 00:50

Teajenny7 · 26/07/2023 21:32

My vegetarian friend laments the fact that most pubs now do a vegan option but not a vegetarian option. She doesn't like the fact that so much '"so called plant food' mimics a meat dish.

As a vegetarian I absolutely agree with your friend! Restaurants presumably think providing something vegan also covers vegetarians, but its extremely annoying as a vegetarian who likes eggs, cheese and creamy sauces! And it's started to infiltrate supermarket ready meals as well. They wouldn't say "we'll only offer fish and that will cover all the meat eaters as well" would they?!
Rant over 😂

neslop · 27/07/2023 00:53

Newbie887 · 27/07/2023 00:44

Another problem is the use of animal manure on arable crops. All arable crops are sprayed with it, unless you are sourcing certified vegan vegetables (does such a thing exist? Probably but they are not mainstream or being bought by non-vegans). Therefore all the lovely vegan fruits and vegetables you are preparing are not in fact vegan. Ditto for all the friends who try to cater for you.

Now I know this is hammering the point to the bitter end and is probably sounding nit-picky. But if you are going to turn your nose up at a vegan sandwich that is sat on the same plate as a meat sandwich, or a vegan burger that is cooked on a grill next to a meat burger, then you are taking it to the extreme anyway.

We had a Muslim family over for a bbq the other day. I made sure not to buy sausages and to get some soft drinks in. That was it. We had beef burgers, chicken, cheese, salad, standard burger buns. A vegan couldn’t have eaten any of these things, the diet is much more restrictive. So to try to compare yourselves to those on a Muslim, or nut free, or vegetarian, or even coeliac diet, is not like for like.

If our friends had been vegan of course I would have made sure the bbq was vegan. But I would have had to double check what they could eat. I wouldn’t have been asking to be annoying, only out of concern of getting it right.

But community events like school, church, village fairs etc cannot reasonably be expected to cater for vegans. Are they going to get in a separate bbq to grill the two vegan burgers needed on the day? Be reasonable.

Did it have to be halal beef and chicken?

Iolani · 27/07/2023 01:28

NaturalNineties · 26/07/2023 21:47

Some Anti-vegans are being dickheads here. I reckon you could have risen above it though and still been passionate and polite about your cause. You have been posting like a dick for some time now and are sounding like a vegan cliche.

Shame. Veganism is an important movement and would benefit from intelligent and calm advocates.

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At the beginning OP was extremely calm and polite but there has been a barrage of misinformation, rude remarks and posters claiming she is harming her children’s mental and physical well-being.
None of these insults had anything to do with her original query and they went on and on and on and on,

Im not surprised her demeanour has changed.

Isn’t it time posters who have nothing of value to say, no advice or relevant comments to make stop posting here.

Those of us with a vested interest would be interested to hear how meat eaters feel about the actual question posed.

Iolani · 27/07/2023 01:33

neslop · 27/07/2023 00:53

Did it have to be halal beef and chicken?

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The animal Manure used isn’t made of meat, so it’s vegan……obviously.
Before someone says ‘ but what if there aren’t any animals ‘
If the world went entirely vegan and there were no animals left to eat then we would use our own manure.

Simple

CelestiaNoctis · 27/07/2023 01:43

Definitely not being unreasonable. People are vegetarian or vegan for many reasons. There should always be at least a veggie option.

WannaBeRecluse · 27/07/2023 02:14

Iolani · 27/07/2023 01:28

At the beginning OP was extremely calm and polite but there has been a barrage of misinformation, rude remarks and posters claiming she is harming her children’s mental and physical well-being.
None of these insults had anything to do with her original query and they went on and on and on and on,

Im not surprised her demeanour has changed.

Isn’t it time posters who have nothing of value to say, no advice or relevant comments to make stop posting here.

Those of us with a vested interest would be interested to hear how meat eaters feel about the actual question posed.

Show quote history

I think I (and others) made valid points about the extra cost and time to us as volunteers to provide something vegan. I've actually spent the night in the hospital with a child, so if I'd promised to cater something, I'm happy to throw something simple in the oven. I have neither the energy or time to be cooking something vegan, and don't think I should have to buy something that adds to my personal household expenses. There seems to have been a complete lack of understanding and empathy from OP for the extra that is asked of those who give their own time and money for such things. It might be a small thing but it adds up for those doing the work.

WannaBeRecluse · 27/07/2023 02:15

Iolani · 27/07/2023 01:33

The animal Manure used isn’t made of meat, so it’s vegan……obviously.
Before someone says ‘ but what if there aren’t any animals ‘
If the world went entirely vegan and there were no animals left to eat then we would use our own manure.

Simple

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What about blood and bone fertiliser though? I had that discussion with a vegan friend who decided not to use it.

Iolani · 27/07/2023 02:23

WannaBeRecluse · 27/07/2023 02:14

I think I (and others) made valid points about the extra cost and time to us as volunteers to provide something vegan. I've actually spent the night in the hospital with a child, so if I'd promised to cater something, I'm happy to throw something simple in the oven. I have neither the energy or time to be cooking something vegan, and don't think I should have to buy something that adds to my personal household expenses. There seems to have been a complete lack of understanding and empathy from OP for the extra that is asked of those who give their own time and money for such things. It might be a small thing but it adds up for those doing the work.

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Valid comments are valid comments and not what I was referring to, apologies if that wasn’t clear.
I was explaining to the original poster why OPs demeanour has changed, that’s all.
OPs original post commented a few carrot sticks or similar would be great, she has given similar examples along the way to how she has provided help and volunteered food etc aswell. I think that shows an enormous amount of empathy for people putting in the time. Some of which is her time for others aswell
Swings and roundabouts

WannaBeRecluse · 27/07/2023 02:29

Iolani · 27/07/2023 02:23

Valid comments are valid comments and not what I was referring to, apologies if that wasn’t clear.
I was explaining to the original poster why OPs demeanour has changed, that’s all.
OPs original post commented a few carrot sticks or similar would be great, she has given similar examples along the way to how she has provided help and volunteered food etc aswell. I think that shows an enormous amount of empathy for people putting in the time. Some of which is her time for others aswell
Swings and roundabouts

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I think it is also a valid point though that carrot sticks take more time to prepare than throwing something pre-made in the oven. Today, I only have the energy for the latter.

I also don't take carrot sticks to things anymore. Or vegan sushi. I've tried both of those and they just don't go down well and there are lots left over. It's a waste of effort for me.

I'm not saying I disagree with OP. I fully support healthier eating. I'd be more likely to volunteer to do one or the other kind of food, not one with a side of the other. If vege burgers were served somewhere that's probably the line I'd get in.

I also know the price differential between, say, vegan sausage rolls and non-vegan, if we're just after easy pre-made stuff. For some organisations, that's just too much. Maybe they could do a special plate for those who request it because that reduces the amount they have to buy.

Iolani · 27/07/2023 02:36

WannaBeRecluse · 27/07/2023 02:29

I think it is also a valid point though that carrot sticks take more time to prepare than throwing something pre-made in the oven. Today, I only have the energy for the latter.

I also don't take carrot sticks to things anymore. Or vegan sushi. I've tried both of those and they just don't go down well and there are lots left over. It's a waste of effort for me.

I'm not saying I disagree with OP. I fully support healthier eating. I'd be more likely to volunteer to do one or the other kind of food, not one with a side of the other. If vege burgers were served somewhere that's probably the line I'd get in.

I also know the price differential between, say, vegan sausage rolls and non-vegan, if we're just after easy pre-made stuff. For some organisations, that's just too much. Maybe they could do a special plate for those who request it because that reduces the amount they have to buy.

Show quote history

Every little helps as they say.
Or maybe every little thing shows we care, is more appropriate in this instance.

stacyvaron · 27/07/2023 03:36

If you were a good friend, I'd go to the effort of doing some research so I knew what to feed you and your kids. If you're not, why cater to your lifestyle choice? You know veganism is rare, so bring your own

mandlerparr · 27/07/2023 06:07

It really is not hard to offer vegan options for one meal, or one day. potatoes can be baked, roasted, boiled, microwaved. Corn on the cob. Carrots, also many prep methods. Hummus, peanut butter, oreos, bread and jam or preserves, fresh fruit. At BBQ's, my dad and I would make up foil packets of cauliflower, broccoli, and potatoes in foil packets (no contamination) and cook them on the grill in a foil pan or straight on depending on heat. Salt and pepper for most things, some salsa. I can think of tons of things that don't require any meat products. And I am not a vegan. Eating a salad with eggs and chicken and cheese on it right now.

mandlerparr · 27/07/2023 06:12

Newbie887 · 27/07/2023 00:44

Another problem is the use of animal manure on arable crops. All arable crops are sprayed with it, unless you are sourcing certified vegan vegetables (does such a thing exist? Probably but they are not mainstream or being bought by non-vegans). Therefore all the lovely vegan fruits and vegetables you are preparing are not in fact vegan. Ditto for all the friends who try to cater for you.

Now I know this is hammering the point to the bitter end and is probably sounding nit-picky. But if you are going to turn your nose up at a vegan sandwich that is sat on the same plate as a meat sandwich, or a vegan burger that is cooked on a grill next to a meat burger, then you are taking it to the extreme anyway.

We had a Muslim family over for a bbq the other day. I made sure not to buy sausages and to get some soft drinks in. That was it. We had beef burgers, chicken, cheese, salad, standard burger buns. A vegan couldn’t have eaten any of these things, the diet is much more restrictive. So to try to compare yourselves to those on a Muslim, or nut free, or vegetarian, or even coeliac diet, is not like for like.

If our friends had been vegan of course I would have made sure the bbq was vegan. But I would have had to double check what they could eat. I wouldn’t have been asking to be annoying, only out of concern of getting it right.

But community events like school, church, village fairs etc cannot reasonably be expected to cater for vegans. Are they going to get in a separate bbq to grill the two vegan burgers needed on the day? Be reasonable.

Why couldn't the vegan eat a bun or the salad?

GreenwichOrTwicks · 27/07/2023 06:26

Utterly ridiculous to expecr the world to pander to this. Humans are omnivores and 'veganism' is an attention seeking fad. Just bring your own food.
I provide haribos for occasional treats at school and make it clear they are not vegan/halal.

WannaBeRecluse · 27/07/2023 06:26

Iolani · 27/07/2023 02:36

Every little helps as they say.
Or maybe every little thing shows we care, is more appropriate in this instance.

Show quote history

Well, my kid is in hospital and seriously ill at the moment. None of the people asking for special dishes at events are bringing me gestures of care (vegan or not, and I am very happy with vegan). Maybe if you haven't lived this life, with this kind of child, you just can't get how what seems like a tiny thing to you is huge for someone else.

WannaBeRecluse · 27/07/2023 06:28

mandlerparr · 27/07/2023 06:07

It really is not hard to offer vegan options for one meal, or one day. potatoes can be baked, roasted, boiled, microwaved. Corn on the cob. Carrots, also many prep methods. Hummus, peanut butter, oreos, bread and jam or preserves, fresh fruit. At BBQ's, my dad and I would make up foil packets of cauliflower, broccoli, and potatoes in foil packets (no contamination) and cook them on the grill in a foil pan or straight on depending on heat. Salt and pepper for most things, some salsa. I can think of tons of things that don't require any meat products. And I am not a vegan. Eating a salad with eggs and chicken and cheese on it right now.

I don't think I'm even going to be able to see my way to making dinner for my own family tonight, let alone catering anything or adding special dishes.

ElizaAgainn · 27/07/2023 07:01

Teajenny7 · 27/07/2023 00:06

We took our own cheese, bread, and dressing to vegan friend's luncheon. I asked for a naked salad. My husband has to carry an epi pen as he is allergic to preservatives, quorn, some nuts (but not peanuts!). He has to keep soy products to a minimum.
He use to eat virtually everything until he had a reaction to quorn meat served at another friends house. He swelled up and had difficulty breathing. He was seen by an NHS allergist and immunologist.
His diet is now fresh meat , vegetables, dairy. He can now tolerate a little soya in some foods. Seemingly, it is not unusual reaction. In the 90s he had a minor reaction to quorn and had always avoided it. The friend who served it hadn't let on it was quorn meat lasagne. Three mouthfuls was enough for the blue light to hospital 5 years ago.
The Consultant stressed natural foods without preservatives. Nothing artifical.

What a shame. That could so easily have been avoided if the friend had just followed my practice of saying to people "Is there anything you can't or won't eat?" before having you both round for a meal. At that point they could have been told "No quorn for hubbie please". It's only polite imo for a host/ess to ask this question and it covers all angles of no-one being expected to eat something they are allergic to or have decided not to eat (for whatever reason - be it ethical or religious or whatever). Everyone has always appreciated being asked that question - even if their response is that they're happy to eat anything.

Pipsquiggle · 27/07/2023 07:02

The problem with this whole stealth boast thread is that you are forcing your lifestyle choice onto other people and you have very entitled expectations.

As I said before only 1.2% of people in the UK are vegan so in most social settings you will be the only people who have this diet. So you are asking the school PTA / group gathering to do something just for you which I think is unreasonable.

If just your family came to my house as guests, I would give you a vegan meal, but honestly, I would be shitting myself as I wouldn't want to fuck it up and do something, inadvertently, that you would find offensive. TBH it's too much hard work so I would have to like you a lot.

Most restaurants do have vegan options so I don't know what your issue is there

watersprites · 27/07/2023 07:05

Neither would I, what I am saying though, is it really isn't that hard... if you're unsure, vegetables are easy!

Not that easy to make them taste good!
Also it depends on the vegan, one family member who is very restrictive is happy with steamed veg but my vegan friend loves chips & doesn't really eat lots of veg!

hopsalong · 27/07/2023 07:21

It's because most people secretly think that being vegan is silly and self-dramatising. They're down with being a vegetarian, even a vegetarian who avoids eggs etc, but they can't be arsed with people who have a hissy fit if served a vegetable curry and rice with a knob of butter in.

WellPlaced · 27/07/2023 07:35

@@GreenwichOrTwicks
you make it clear the haribo isn’t vegan or halal. I do hope you make it clear it’s not vegetarian either.

@Canidoitreally
catering for Muslims isn’t just about not serving pork!

WellPlaced · 27/07/2023 07:47

hopsalong · 27/07/2023 07:21

It's because most people secretly think that being vegan is silly and self-dramatising. They're down with being a vegetarian, even a vegetarian who avoids eggs etc, but they can't be arsed with people who have a hissy fit if served a vegetable curry and rice with a knob of butter in.

‘Hissyfit’ ?
Well that’s rude and derogatory.

Believe me, most people make no secret of the fact they secretly think that being vegan is silly and self-dramatising.