Is it really that hard.....? 🤔

[StillGotBabyBrain]

My family is vegan, not a massive deal.

When the school has events, no vegan option, so everyone gets a bbq or food catered and we don't. Not even a dairy free alternative for hot drinks! (Primary school, high school is better).

When they go for sleepovers I get worried parents asking me what should they do, can I provide food and drinks for them...

Pubs and restaurants barely cater for adults let alone add options for the kids menu.

Went to a choir meeting the other week, nothing I could eat from the food included in my ticket price.

Am I being unreasonable thinking it's really not that difficult to provide bread and houmous or vegetable dishes? They're suitable for everyone, so isn't a waste of food! Blows my mind.

No, it’s not that big a deal, op. We eat everything but I’ll often find we’ve gone a few days effectively being vegan without thinking about it. The idea often expressed on here that if you eat meat you have to eat it all the time is baffling to me and feels extremely old fashioned.

I don't understand why you would push your veganism on your children? I assume it is not them who have decided to be vegan and now you have made their life restricted and difficult because of your choice.

@WannaBeRecluse
as you say, vegan feta not necessary but also no more processed than traditional feta.

In the same way you push eating animals onto yours?

None of my animals have ever been fed soy based feeds. Most of it goes into cheaply produced meats on commercial settings that I don't agree with rather than the meat I eat which is grass-fed and organic. My neighbour will only eat wild meat (venison and other game) he has shot himself which is admirable but taking it to extreme.

Reading the ingredients, they were very different.

I’ve read about 7 pages into this thread so apologies if I’ve missed this point already being made.
I volunteer for my schools PTA, the events we organise are to raise funds for the school and, as such, costs should be minimal. When we serve hot chocolate at the Christmas fair we serve hot Ribena as an alternative. We cannot afford an alternative to the hot dogs (American style in a jar) that only require heating in a slow cooker and sell so well. Even if an alternative was donated, we don’t have cooking or storage facilities as the school kitchen is run by an outside company. In the past we have tried to accommodate dairy free options but got complaints because they were right for some people but not for others taste wise, it ended up being a waste of money. All the cakes we sell are donated and we have some brilliant bakers who do gluten free but, as yet, no one has given us a vegan alternative to sell. We are basically slaves to what is cheap, what sells well and what we are given! Also, we are volunteers and give up lots of time to plan and organise these events in order to benefit the school as a whole, we never have enough volunteers either so we are all rushed off our feet right up until the end of the event. If someone turned up to volunteer who wanted to plan for, purchase and provide vegan alternatives then we would honestly be thrilled but it hasn’t happened yet.

I must admit that we stopped hosting one group of friends because one couple in the group became vegan. I fully support their choice and do multiple vegan meals every week. The problem was that one vegan couldn't eat mushrooms or nuts due to allergies and didn't like beans. The group also have someone that was gluten-free. It became too much. I think a lot of people are tired to catering to multiple preferences and dietary requirements.

I get the vegans to bring their own food to a BBQ now. It isn't because I can't Google. It's because I'm one person and I'm not shelling out on sides to cater every preference anymore.

More than anything, what I'm trying to say is, I don't think I'm unreasonable asking for my kids to not be left out.

YABVU. You have deliberately and knowingly put your children in a situation where they will be left out (because you are aware how people think of vegans), and are now whinging about that.

You are the one who has fucked your kids over here, both in diet and in social scenarios. It really is a very cruel thing to do to them.

Veganism is not a “belief”. It’s a load of fussy eater look at me bollocks.

Yep yep yep, 100%.

As a coeliac I find that cross contamination is the hardest thing to get around - I can find places that serve gluten free, and even specifically offer gluten free items such as bread, but it’s too much for them to manage the cross contamination- making it pretty useless for coeliacs or those with allergies - but that’s mainly due to size of place, complexity of sticking to requirements.
An example is a wooden utensil used with gluten food can contaminate with gluten when used with non gluten food - there’s also the non touching, the floating around of bread etc. So to fully cater is quite restrictive.
I understand that vegan food shouldn’t be near non vegan food but am not sure how far the potential cross contamination is an issue for vegans. Should utensils not be wooden? Can the food be made near bread that has dairy in it?
If someone wants to be very strict with it to cater for vegans I think it will get just too difficult as it’s definitely more than chucking some carrots on a plate or serving up vegan pizza if you’re also making non vegan dough. I do guess some places to eat cater for vegans easier than coeliacs as they don’t find the need to be so rigorous in separation. I presume that is checked by the person ordering in line with their own levels of acceptability. Ditto for the encroachment of vegan choice over free from choice - most supermarkets don’t even seem to register the difference though 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Prettyvase sounds lovely but I am just hopping off to work and won't be home until 8pm so will not be making vegan pizza bases. Lamb chops, cous course and a Greek salad is my limit on a work night.

But you go into a non vegan home and demand vegan?!

For what it's worth, I ended up catering a vegan Xmas get together because of allergies. The non-allergics (is that a word?!) didn't even realise!

Vegan quick/efficient to serve stuff is expensive. The cheap examples you’ve given take ages to prep - can’t compare them to banging sausages on a bbq at a school bbq.

” Just give my kid a plate of fruit “ - again, way more expensive than two slices of toast.

Veganism is a choice. There’s consequences to that choice.

We have few friends in my children’s school who have so many different allergies that they need to have the vegan option and one who is vegan by choice and a couple who don’t have pork. I hosted parties loads of times for these children and managed to cater for all needs. It’s not hard, it just needs good planning.

Having been vegan for over 30 years, I’d say the opposite & we’ve never had it so good.

Buffets almost always have samosas, mini veg spring rolls, onion bhaji etc And houmus & falafel are common place on any snack table. Every pub/restaurant you go in has at least one vegan option - I no longer have to ring ahead every time I go out. I am also more aware that, for example, French restaurants are likely to be more tricky than Indian or Chinese.

More to the point everyone knows what a vegan is and although (going by this thread) some people still think we are just arsy PITA, most places will cater. Even pizza delivery do vegan cheese now, rather than just having to leave it off!

I think kids are harder because most kids have a ‘thing’ about vegetables. So if they are going to someone else’s house offer ideas for easy options like jacket potato & beans, or pasta with tomato sauce. Be prepared to send over a tub of margarine or vegan cheese to go with it.

Most people are busy. Vegetarians would be easy to cater for. Vegans would require more work.
I would cater but it would have to be quick, easy and inexpensive in that I wouldn’t be buying stuff that is then wasted.
A celiac child got baked potatoes, cheese and beans every single week - very boring, but easy enough to do.

If I had a child coming over I’d ask the parents about what they can eat as standard. It’s amazing how many people don’t actually tell you about intolerances in advance only for a child to say oh by the way I can’t eat x. For a vegan child I’d want to get some alternative milk in but wouldn’t know which one etc and would welcome some advice on what they will eat. I’d try and get some treats in or make something but I couldn’t guarantee any cross-contamination so wouldn’t want to bake if the stuff would be rejected for being in the same cake tin as butter had previously etc.

PTA type events I do think you’re being a bit unreasonable. At ours, the local butcher heavily discounts/donates the meat so the profit margin is ok for the bbq. I’m not even sure if there was a veggie let alone vegan option this year. They just wouldn’t be able to guarantee no cross contamination as it is parent volunteers cooking on the pta bbq which has used meat for years so they’d have to borrow or buy a new bbq, have separate utensils etc which is probably just not profitable.

I'm not sure this is a widespread problem. Every restaurant I've been to in the last few years caters for vegans. Every children's party I take my kids to caters to dietary requirements (it's a question in every invite), every school event caters to all diets. The school summer fayre I attended last week had so many vegan cakes I couldn't find one with the traditional ingredients. Strange.

Last time I had a birthday party for once of my kids I got a frankly quite demanding text from a parent saying that their child was vegan, GF etc.. Spent loads on getting alternatives in for her, only for the parents to send with a lunchbox anyway. Next time I'll just tell them what's available and they can bring their own if they don't like it.

Vegans can eat toast you know! Just leave off the butter and stick on some jam.

Do you think a plate of fruit is a nutritious, well balanced breakfast for a child? Because I don’t.

’I know many of the children at the school are fed chicken nuggets amd sausages (carcinogenic)’

I don’t eat sausages. But I would also avoid the Linda McCartney sausage rolls you mentioned earlier. I see that stuff as highly processed and unhealthy.

Anyway, I will always cater for any dietary restriction as I am a good and kind host. But I do admit I find it hard. No matter how many times you say it’s easy, I don’t find it that. I like to make desserts and not just do a fruit salad. I could never give anyone just vegetables for a meal without a suitable protein.

In restaurants I think vegans have more choice than vegetarians these days. There are always several vegan options. I don’t know if that’s just a London/big city thing.

With the sleepover thing surely a bag of vegan nuggets and some fries is as easy as their non vegan counterparts? And some oat milk for drinks. Job done. Most supermarkets have now got a vegan section with lots of easy processed stuff to bung in the oven
Buffets and events I can see are still tricky, so I would take my own. If you are a vegan who doesn't like stuff touching meat then you are in the realms of people with allergies - and the only way to be safe is to take your own stuff

I eat a very clean diet and would prefer buffets/events to include good quality vegan food. I can’t stand cheap processed ‘party’ food but sadly most people do, it’s cheap and is the option most organisations go for (understandably).