Is it really that hard.....? 🤔

[StillGotBabyBrain]

My family is vegan, not a massive deal.

When the school has events, no vegan option, so everyone gets a bbq or food catered and we don't. Not even a dairy free alternative for hot drinks! (Primary school, high school is better).

When they go for sleepovers I get worried parents asking me what should they do, can I provide food and drinks for them...

Pubs and restaurants barely cater for adults let alone add options for the kids menu.

Went to a choir meeting the other week, nothing I could eat from the food included in my ticket price.

Am I being unreasonable thinking it's really not that difficult to provide bread and houmous or vegetable dishes? They're suitable for everyone, so isn't a waste of food! Blows my mind.

My granddaughter has MPA and is completely left out in her primary school. I occasionally go vegan and I haven't had an issue in pubs, even wetherspoons do a vegan option and vegan wine. If you don't like sweet potato, you come a bit unstuck. Needing to provide a Halal option has helped. I'd cut other parents some slack, though.

Join the pta and be part of the organisation of events?

Yes, it is massively inconvenient.
Bring a Tupperware, like many people with allergies do.

I think people worry about inadvertently using meat products, and they KNOW you won't get it wrong.

I remember my dad, who was a caterer proudly providing a vegan meal for his newly vegan niece (this is 30 yrs ago). He was soooo proud. Her mum/his sister said "how did you make vegan pastry without butter?"

He said

"Oh shit!"

It's not hard, but not everyone has the knowledge of how to do things vegan. It also depends on the vegan. Some don't even want carrots chopped with a knife that's touched animal products in the past. I'd find that too much. But if that's not you, it's not hard at all.

In my own experience, I have tried to preparing things like vege sticks and hummus, or vegan sushi, and bringing them to events. People just don't want that sort of thing. So maybe that's why people are doing the more popular sort of things?

I was vegetarian for years oh shit happened frequently especially with people using meat stock 🤦‍♀️

I don't mind them checking in, and I don't mind giving food for my kids to take. Bit majority just don't even know how to Google things. I try and make sure that I understand the kids I have over my house.

Oh no! That's an easy mistake to make.

Best to buy pastry I say, mostly made with oil and is vegan anyways, plus, making pastry, especially puff, is a nightmare! 🤣

They are hinting at you what a PITA it is, indicating it’s too much bother for them.

1 of my kids are vegan, 1 vegetarian.

Things like school events, have you tried asking in plenty of time, ours would provide something.

Pubs and restaurants, my vegan child would just have something from the adult menu when they were younger. Places will often do a smaller portion for a lower price.

I think sleepovers are different, it sounds like parents maybe just don’t know what to give them or maybe don’t just don’t want to make the effort. It’s easy enough to provide food, I’d just send them with something, it’s not a big deal. Parents we were more friendly with would be happy to do something themselves. I agree I always made the effort for kids I had for play dates but some people don’t.

How so? Most people eat veggies.....

My kids would be happy with a plate of vegetables, I'm not expecting a banquet 🤣😂 besides, not many places allow you to take your own food in and kind of defeats the object of going out for food!

I would never serve just veges to someone vegan. They need a balanced meal with balanced proteins and stuff. For a snack, sure, vege sticks might cut it.

What can I tell you, people just don’t want to deal with vegans. 🤷‍♀️ I’ll happily cater to vegetarians, but not vegans. Too restrictive and I just don’t care enough to make the effort. I also don’t use shitty UPF substitutes for animal products.

The school pta bbq is probably sausage or burger in a roll type thing. Often on a borrowed from a parent bbq so can’t do vegan without cross contamination.
Drinks probably a cost issue - so bog standard tea/coffee and one type of cow milk. You can have a hot drink just milk free.
Church choir I’d imagine same volunteer and cost issues.
Probably easiest solution is to volunteer to bring a dish or cook.

Neither would I, what I am saying though, is it really isn't that hard... if you're unsure, vegetables are easy!

I’m a vegetarian (have been all my life) but I hate the fact it’s 2023 and I’m still having to act like it’s a massive favour for me to actually be able to eat something when I go places. My number one pet hate over and above the lack of actual stuff I can eat is that when there is anything veggie at maybe a family bbq, friend’s house etc it is guaranteed to always be rammed up against meat on the same plate if it’s a buffet set up. Why if I don’t eat meat would I want to eat small pieces of meat or have meat juices all over my dinner? 🙈 I take things with me to everything I go to to make it simple but usually they’re cast aside and not used. It gives me so much anxiety! I went to my now husband’s family’s house for the first time for a bbq when we were first together and they had got corn on the cobs, veggie burgers etc but proceeded to cook them on the same bbq touching all the meat. I was having to politely smile and say thanks while frantically wondering how to get out of the situation without seeming rude!

I went to an afternoon tea hen do the other week that you had to pay to attend for an afternoon tea. I was happy to pay and knew there would most likely be nothing I could actually eat at it but would pay my money and say nothing. The sister of the bride asked on the group chat if anyone had any dietary requirements and I said veggie but there would be something I could eat. Made it as low key as possible, no extra effort required (but thought surely the place will provide a separate plate of food for me)! There were other people in the chat then making silly requests about exactly how they’d like their scones or sandwich etc which just seems so trivial when they at least could eat something.

Sure enough, turned up for an afternoon tea to be sat down to us all where ham sandwiches rubbed up against anything vegetarian and an announcement was made that there were ‘lots of veggie options there’ 😃 It’s that same awful feeling of not wanting to draw any attention to yourself as you put one piece of crusty bread onto your plate that I have at every buffet I’ve ever been to! Slowly walking back to your seat trying not to make it look like you haven’t been able to eat anything in case you look rude but just assuming ‘oh well, il need to starve again then’ 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

A lot of people probably see catering for vegans as being difficult/extra work and on that basis avoid doing so. Or maybe it just didn't occur to them to provide a vegan option. It not nice for you. But it's a pretty niche diet.

Too restrictive and I just don’t care enough to make the effort.

Personally I care about my children’s friendships so I make an effort to cook something they would like, have snacks in they would like etc. Preferences, allergies, all welcome in our house.

Which I do most of the time.

I guess I just find it all a bit sad really, I would have never pre vegan, have left vegans out, I ways made sure they were catered for, it is not restrictive and with a little research, there's so much we can eat that everyone else would also enjoy!

It's the whole bloody mindedness of it at times. For reference, the PTA all know me and know we're vegan, the school themselves are not to bad, they make sure the kids are sorted, when baking they often do a vegan recipe as easier for lots of the kids with varying dietary requirements.

It is not restrictive, that's a myth that people who cba use.

When they go for sleepovers I get worried parents asking me what should they do, can I provide food and drinks for them...

Do you provide for meat eaters when they sleepover,?

TBH it's the 21st century and I see vegan options everywhere . Just be glad it's not an allergy.

Exactly what I said - I find it too restrictive from my POV and I don’t want to make an effort.
I imagine this view is shared by lots of people, so it may provide you with the insight you seek - majority of people don’t want to know and cater to vegans.

Vegetables need prep though. Plus storage issues eg might need fridge, can’t prep ahead or they go unappetising.
Often no or limited food prep areas. Busy volunteers.
So eg organiser orders platters of sandwiches one meat and one veggie, a bag of crisps and a platter of cupcakes. All they have to do is pick up from supermarket/M & S. Buffet will suit majority of people.

I remember a vegetarian friend who used to get presented with a quiche Lorraine (contains meat) every single visit to her mother in law. We had long debates over whether this was passive aggressive or just unthinking ‘it’s quiche so must be vegetarian’, and were fairly sure the latter.

You've got to admit though, those little party pies are generally a cheaper option for something like a community group, and they are popular. I'd prefer the vegan option myself because I don't eat that pastry stuff, but it is more expensive, unless you have someone willing to cook from scratch. Maybe you could offer to do this for the group?