Is it really that hard.....? 🤔

[StillGotBabyBrain]

My family is vegan, not a massive deal.

When the school has events, no vegan option, so everyone gets a bbq or food catered and we don't. Not even a dairy free alternative for hot drinks! (Primary school, high school is better).

When they go for sleepovers I get worried parents asking me what should they do, can I provide food and drinks for them...

Pubs and restaurants barely cater for adults let alone add options for the kids menu.

Went to a choir meeting the other week, nothing I could eat from the food included in my ticket price.

Am I being unreasonable thinking it's really not that difficult to provide bread and houmous or vegetable dishes? They're suitable for everyone, so isn't a waste of food! Blows my mind.

So rather than have some kind of option that you consider to be crap in terms of like for like, you just don't bother?

That's sad.

I was on the PTA at a previous school and we always made sure every kid had an option. Never was a parent asked to bring their own.

My son has Type 1 diabetes and eating ‘the same 4 animals over and over’ plus cheese have saved his life because meat, eggs, and cheese have no carbs and lessen insulin needs a bit. Vegetables generally are low in carbs and he likes vegetables but he can’t live on vegetables alone, as there are foods he can’t have at all to be healthy, so to take away meat, dairy, and eggs would pretty much decimate the already restricted list of things he can have.

I don’t demand that anyone cater to his condition. People have their own burdens and things to worry about.

Nobody likes people who act like you do. That’s why they don’t cater to your foolish demands. Bring your own food. Prepare food for your child to bring like I do.

Plate of fruit for breakfast? That's okay for an adult but not substantial enough for a growing child. Give them a piece of toast with nut butter with it, or some protein.

Stop complaining about first world problems. Literally a first world problem. Why don’t you move to a place where they don’t have the luxury of meat, eggs, and dairy? You can eat all the rice and veg you want then.

Other people are not your personal chef. Nobody cares about your ‘beliefs’. I doubt you care about animals or humans. You just want to act like you’re in on a trendy ‘cause’. I bet even other vegans don’t like you.

There's so many options and alternatives. It is not restrictive in the slightest, many dishes can easily be veganised by a simple switch. If anything, the range of foods we eat now has massively increased.

I'd understand if everyone I ever spoke to couldn't fathom it, but that is not the case. Many people do a fabulous job!

We're talking about a sleepover here. My kids wouldn't even eat breakfast if I didn't drag them down for it 🤣🤣🤣

Fair enough. It won't hurt every now and then.

You don't need to take anything I say personally.... I'm not asking you or your son to be vegan? I'm asking for people to not leave my children out and to not take my money for food when providing me with none!

Veganism is a choice allergies are not, I eat whatever is supplied

YABU. You've chosen a way to eat that most people don't.
Is it really that hard to supply your own food?
Not sure how many vegan kids there'd be in school.
I'd imagine it's growing though.

What has triggered you so much?

You're just being plain rude and it's unnecessary 😒

There's so many options and alternatives. It is not restrictive in the slightest, many dishes can easily be veganised by a simple switch.

All right, then... just keep repeating your mantra of 'It's so so easy to be vegan, what's the problem' and then ignoring people who explain what the problem is to you.

No, we don’t bother, because we’ve already given up hours of our free time organising the events, games, providing decorations, entertainment, food for 99% of the school, etc etc.

There would be some stuff there someone eating a vegan diet could eat (like fruit, veggies, hummus) but it wouldn’t be like for like compared to the other children. I’m sorry but I’m not spending another hour of my time catering for a random child that isn’t my own and making them stuff only they will eat.

Just as I wouldn’t expect other parents to give up more of their time catering for my celiac daughter.

Apart from anything else, you can’t trust that everyone is going to get it right when they aren’t used to cooking vegan (see butter in the pastry comments above)

It is not restrictive, that's a myth that people who cba use.

It's literally restrictive, by definition.

I agree with everything you've said, except that pubs and restaurants barely cater for adults - as a vegetarian I've found that over the past few years almost all pubs and restaurants have switched their previous vegetarian option into a vegan one (so currently bizarrely spicy sweet potato/pulled jackfruit has replaced goats cheese tart, which replaced vegetable lasagna, which replaced a glare from the waiter and an eventual omelette, as the one thing you always get to eat when going out).

I think YABU. Living in the U.K. with the range of shops and choice available to us I find catering for vegetarians easy. Catering for vegans is HARD.

You say is it so hard to provide bread, Humous and salad? No of course not. They would be staples at any party I catered but they are hardly a balanced meal and wouldn't necessarily be vegan. I bake my own bread and might have added milk or butter to the bread dough or anchovies/eggs/Parmesan to the salad dressing.

I agree, I was vegan for years (eventually added a few things back in) and just got on with it, never expected anyone else to cater.

If there was a vegan free option great, if not I sorted myself out. And I think that's a good cue for you - if people don't ask upfront whatever special dietary needs and wants you might have, they are not interested in catering to them.

It IS restrictive, and there's also so much variation on the vegan spectrum, from loosely plant based to strict types who look into the provenance of anything they eat or use.

If you expect everyone to cater for whatever your version of vegan is, all the time, you risk being labelled as one of those 'bloody vegans' who aren't invited anywhere, and give all the others a bad name while you're at it.

There's so many options and alternatives. It is not restrictive in the slightest, many dishes can easily be veganised by a simple switch.

Maybe you don't understand that to most people, these so-called simple switches make the food taste very average, and they don't want to eat it themselves. So they are faced with buying/making faux-mince, vegan-pastry rolls for your child and then a version for everyone else who isn't vegan.

So just to clarify, after your rant about religious minorities and their demands...

If your kid was friends with a vegan kid, you just wouldn't ever have them over or if you did invite them over, you'd say to the parent, sort your kids food because I'm not catering to your minority belief, your food is trash and I'm not interested?

Sounds reasonable. 🤣

It's hugely restrictive. Just because you have had the motivation to work things out doesn't mean that everyone will.

Fwiw my oet gripe is going to a restaurant where the only vegetarian options are vegan. I don't want vegan - I find it mostly quite dry and uninspiring. I'd like eggs and dairy, both for the nutritional value and the taste.

OP, the problem is, you keep changing the goalposts.

Most people would, of course, sort out something for one kid at a sleepover.
Most cafe's and restaurants do offer a vegan option.
People catering for a one off event, especially if run by volunteers, may find it too costly in terms of time, money or mental energy to cater to your food preferences.

You have chosen to eat this restrictive diet, and that's absolutely fine, but most people are not the least bit interested.

Just because you're more than happy to bend over backwards to ensure that every taste, preference and actual allergy or intolerance are catered for, it doesn't mean that you can expect everyone else to be as willing.

Sorry if that comes across as aggressive or unfeeling, it's not supposed to.

Of course I've had the motivation. I've been in catering for many years since before I was vegan, so I've always wanted to do a good job and provide awesome food. My point being, if you know someone you're catering for is vegan, at least try even if it is really a simple and easy option!

If you only offer a few vegan options as an establishment, do bloody good ones! 🤣🤣

They just sound like bad chefs if the food is dry and uninspiring, probably because they can't be arsed. I've had some great vegan meals out. And some utterly atrocious ones. 🫠

A few things concern me.

Firstly, how did your children decide they wanted to be vegan?

I understand that you have strong personal beliefs about eating animals but you've made this decision for them. I find it disturbing that they get no say in what food goes into their own body as they grow and develop.

We are omnivores with large and small intestines and canine and molar teeth to process our meat, fruit, grain and vegetable diet. Our bodies actually show us what we are supposed to be eating to remain healthy.

We are not evolved to eat highly processed additive filled and artificially flavoured food, and it sounds like your children are eating sausages and nuggets which are exactly this, vegan or not. Have you actually read the ingredients?

I was a vegan in my teens (though to be honest it was more akin to an eating disorder) and made myself extremely unhealthy by being so extreme in my diet.

I was also a huge campaigner for compassion in world farming but eventually came to realise that what I was advocating was genocide because some animals are only bred for food. If we don't eat them, their eggs, use their wool, drink their milk, then they will simply cease to exist. I rationalised that it is better to exist, live a healthy life with plenty of food and then have a quick death before illness or a predator strikes.

I do still care about animal welfare so only buy free range meat and eggs. This extends to eating out where, unless the pork/chicken dish is specified as free range, I'll go for the beef or lamb which is grass feed or the fish or vegetarian option if not certain.

I would never, under any circumstances, impose my beliefs on others, least of all my children and I'm not really surprised at your attitude that everyone must bend to what you perceive as superior beliefs to theirs.

I hope this post gives you some food for thought, even if you do just reply telling me how much unprocessed fruit, veg and grain you give your kids and how they just love vegan food.

I don't find it aggressive or anything like that. But I haven't changed the goalposts.

My OP is adults are barely catered for at restaurants eg not a huge choice, and kids generally have no option.

They aren't catered for at sleepovers etc, I do provide food for them. I don't want them to miss out.

If you're charging for food, then you should be taking onto account dietary needs and making sure there's something for all. That's not being demanding!

We had another choir do, just our choir a few weeks after and that was a bring your own bits, I took a few bits & other people brought nice bits suitable for us 3 - 2 vegans and 1 veggie. They all went down a storm, I bought Linda McCartney sausage rolls, they loved them! 😍 I also made a massive Bakewell tart and that was demolished by everyone! 🤣😂

It’s not unreasonable.
People just can’t be bothered.

My kids were constantly given haribos year after year in party bags or at school and year after year the same people would ask “ oh why cant you eat them”
It doesn’t affect them so they just don’t care.
Go to the event with your own nice bottle of vegan wine, just for you and your own much nicer food. No sharing now!

Plus ask before you pay for a ticketed event if there will be food and drink for you and if there won’t then ask for a reduced ticket price for the reduced service. Why would you want to subsidise something you are morally against