To tell you that if you're overweight and worried about going on holiday, don't be!

[SpeedbirdSquawker]

I'm almost 24 stone and a size 24. I'm lucky enough to be able to get away a few times a year, but my weight has always held me back doing things. I know other overweight people have similar fears, so I was hoping to alleviate those with this post.

Firstly I worry about the flight and if i'm going to fit into the seat. I always need a seatbelt extender (with Ryanair, not so much with other airlines), but I fit in the seat absolutely fine! I use the toilet onboard and have room to manoeuvre.

When I have been away, the beach is always full of the people with perfect bodies, as is the complex pool and i've always avoided the beach (for fear of looking like a beached whale) and i've only used the pool when it's empty, first thing or just before sunset.

I don't eat out at restaurants because I thought people might judge me scoffing my face.

Well, this holiday, I thought to fuck with it all. I ate out in restaurants. I went to the beach and even stripped off to my swimwear and went in the sea. It was liberating! I sunbathed on the beach. I went in the pool at busy times. You know what, people didn't bat an eyelid? I got friendly hellos and people were more busy with themselves and the people they were with to even look at me and if they did, to give me a second glance.

I know that being overweight can put some people off living life to the full, but please just do it.

I'm so sorry that you've been made to feel this way about yourself. It's an imprint, isn't it? What size/shape, there is something there that makes some women (very many women) find such fault (before others do).

You're bang on the money with what you said - It's not about normalising a certain weight, any weight, it's about normalising being comfortable in our own bodies. Definitely.

I'm not being funny, but....Good for you! This is liberating!

Loving this post so positive glad you had a great time

No, it just looks like that whilst you are busy judging yourself and putting yourself down. Honestly people do not care, enjoy your self.

@Look85 - that was very ungenerous and mean spirited of you, so apparently weight loss doesn’t improve that. agree, a fat horrid person that loses weight just becomes a horrid person.

I could have written this post because I did exactly the same thing this year and I've enjoyed things so much more!
I want to make changes to be healthier but I can't do that from a place of negativity & hate for myself but I'm feeling much more positive now.

Lovely post. I'm a size 14 and going on holiday soon, I'm more comfortable at a size 12 so don't feel great in a swimming costume but there's no way I wouldn't get in the pool with my child. And swimming is good for your health, so it's absolutely right to encourage people to swim no matter what size. I was always going to get in the pool anyway but this post has made me feel like I need to worry about it less, so thankyou.

Definitely agree with the premise of the OP.

So should op just stay at home until she's lost weight?

Also there's loads of debunking ofbmi as a measure of health. But people so like to cling to it as its something they can feel smug about.

OP well done on breaking free and enjoying your life. You only have one. I’m so glad you’re not wasting it. Ignore those still living unhappy lives focusing on wheat strangers think of them in public.

I wish I could feel as free. I’m middle aged and a size 12. I used to be size 10 and firm. I live a busy life and haven’t had as much time over the last 2 years to go to the gym and focus on eating well and it’s got me down a bit. Nevertheless, I’m going abroad soon and was really worried about how I’d look on the beach, but you’ve made me think ‘why do to care? I’m going to be with my kids and DH in a lovely part of the world and I should enjoy every minute, who cares what randoms think!’

Good on you, I’m glad you had the confidence to think sod them and enjoy your holiday. I love seeing women in bikini’s of all sizes and think good on them. I am a size 12 ish but carry weight on my stomach which makes me very self conscious and I feel like everyone is judging, when in reality of course they aren’t. But I feel a lot better going on holiday when I’ve lost a bit of weight. I went on a last minute break a month or so ago and must admit I felt like crap and kept my shorts and T-shirt on the beach. Luckily my eldest son isn’t a sun worshiper so we only stayed an hour. I think it’s more about being self conscious isn’t it rather than what others think as most people are too busy enjoying their own holidays rather than looking what others look like. I need to remember that.

I see very very few ''perfect'' bodies on the beach. So much so that when one does appear it really IS a head turner. For both sexes either way!

One thing - once you get to a certain age you realise that most really lovely looking bodies on the beach belong to folk in their late teens and early 20s.

When i was in my late teens and 20s and even early 30s i might compare myself unfavourably with them. Wonder if i measured up against them. But past that (and with older kids of my own) i still see them of course, and see they're lovely, but to me now they're perfect in the way that children are. If that makes sense?

The people who's bodies show they have had kids, or have got old, or who have struggled with weight, or had any number of things happen to them during their life, but are there having fun on the beach - to me they, we!, are the real people. The perfect ones are unusual and just a fleeting 'ooh, look at that!' moment

Upsetrethis you're absolutely wrong about the drinking too much thing. If anybody dares to say anything to anybody about the amount they admit to drinking, they are rounded on and written off as 'a sniff of sherry at Christmas'. You're right in that it's the same analogy, it definitely is.

Nobody thinks that being overweight is ideal anymore than they think that alcoholism is the way to go. Anybody dealing with any of those issues is well aware of it, they don't need hounding and being made to feel worse.

There is a cohort on this board that finds obesity/weight/fat some sort of catnip and without fail, they appear with their petty, mean-minded judgement. Women don't need any of that and certainly not from other women so, in case you were wondering why you've been pulled up on it, that could be it. Your 'worry and concern about Ireland' is utterly transparent; it's not your job to worry about Ireland's people, they will manage themselves without your 'help', so just stop it.

Oh wow, so many replies!

Honestly, that day I was in the sea (and jumping the waves) made me feel sooo good.

When you put your swimsuit/dress/whatever other item of clothing you feel insecure in, look at yourself in the mirror. I did and I pondered over my pale, white legs, fat knees and chunky arms, but then I thought can I actually change this right now? I couldn't. Then I asked myself if I looked offensive. I didn't at all. Then I thought how my waist and hips looked quite nice in my swimsuit and how my boobs looked just beautiful, especially when they're in the pool as they seem to float. No more saggy boobs!

All the women round the pool, of different nationalities smiled and said hello to me. Most absolutely gorgeous too, but they were also probably insecure somehow about themselves in some way.

Love this post. Wish more people were comfortable with their size and body issues (myself included!)
there is nothing more amazing that women strutting down the beach- happy with themselves.
they are always the woman I look at on holidays and strive to be like. Sometimes they are a small size “perfect” (by beauty standards ) bods and sometimes they are larger sizes and I just wish I had their look and confidence. ill hopefully get there one day!

Oh but I forgot, there were two women round the pool one day. Maybe in their mid-twenties. The pool was quiet so maybe I was their entertainment, but from when I was walking to the shower and then to enter the pool, their eyes were constantly on me. They were speaking in their own language (maybe about me, maybe not, it didn't seem sneary), but I looked at both of them in the eyes and smiled and smiled until they looked away.

I think you've nailed the zeitgeist with your thread today, SpeedwaySquawker, it's fantastic to read about your day...

What people need to get through their heads is that weight loss is NOT as simple as putting down the fork and going to the gym
some people find it very difficult, for various reasons
I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum very skinny and then went over 200lb after my pregnancy and bad live events
stress is a big factor in weight gain
it’s important to strive for a healthy weight but we also shouldn’t hide away and stop our lives just because we are overweight, so good for you OP
and I will definitely be having fun this summer like you

I love this. You go girl!

One helpful tip I've found is that whilst I'm still overweight ( down to 14 stone 1 from 16 stone 3 in November last year) I instantly upped my appearance- wore my better clothes, put on the blusher and bronzer, got out my best perfume and turned my mental thoughts to 'actually you look pretty nice for 61, but you can look better' - rather than my mental thoughts before which were 'you look fat and a bit of a mess' - People did notice even when I initially hadn't lost much saying 'you look well' - I've decided 'you look well' is fine and if I lose more than this then it's a total bonus. Looking your best and enjoying yourself - whatever the scales say I think is the best place to start from if you want to make any changes for health.

Good for you OP, glad you were comfortable and enjoyed your holiday.

However frankly I would not want to be sat beside you on a plane as experience tells me even average size people spill over slightly. Carriers like Ryan Air have so little space anyway.

Oh and i'm sorry I'm spilling all about my holiday, but eating out anywhere has been a real issue for me on holiday before. I stick to the same one or two cafes near where I stay which mostly attract the middle aged English expats so I feel 'safe'.

This time, I decided no fucks given. One morning I walked off the main tourist trail and came to a neighbourhood cafe. It looked lovely and I was ready for breakfast. It was busy full of locals. I took a seat at a table outside but the waiting staff didn't seem to be wanting to come over to me, so I walked past everyone, all eyes were on me, I could tell, to the waiting staff to ask if I could have a menu. Just a tiny thing, but for fatty me, ordering food to make me fatter, it was a huge thing!

I also wore a lovely skirt one day and thought I looked pretty so made a point of walking past people sat at a pavement cafe to try and raise my confidence. Usually I would avoid this like the plague, cross over and don't dare to catch anyones gaze. No one barely looked at me anyway and when they did they smiled! Maybe I am judgemental of myself more than any other people.

That's a shame, but I don't spill over. I always book a window seat to lean over to the window more and then I look to make sure I'm not taking any of the middle seat. I however, cannot get the tray down thanks to my ginormous belly. Pisses me right off as I'd love a cup of tea!

I'm not overweight. I wouldn't want to be on the same plane as you and your sourness.

The 'good for you' spiel sounds as fake as it was meant.

I agree with pp - a drive to look your own best is so much healthier than a drive to compete with a stranger. A neighbour. Or a celeb. Who ever you've pitted yourself.

The main point about making overweight folk feel ok about being out and about doing stuff is not to 'normalise' their size. It's to let them be allowed to be happy - leading them to get fresh air and get active, have fun and maybe get out of that rut 😊

This is true, so many wait until they weigh.... to do this, to wear that, to try this...do it all now