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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell you that if you're overweight and worried about going on holiday, don't be!

361 replies

SpeedbirdSquawker · 23/07/2023 17:14

I'm almost 24 stone and a size 24. I'm lucky enough to be able to get away a few times a year, but my weight has always held me back doing things. I know other overweight people have similar fears, so I was hoping to alleviate those with this post.

Firstly I worry about the flight and if i'm going to fit into the seat. I always need a seatbelt extender (with Ryanair, not so much with other airlines), but I fit in the seat absolutely fine! I use the toilet onboard and have room to manoeuvre.

When I have been away, the beach is always full of the people with perfect bodies, as is the complex pool and i've always avoided the beach (for fear of looking like a beached whale) and i've only used the pool when it's empty, first thing or just before sunset.

I don't eat out at restaurants because I thought people might judge me scoffing my face.

Well, this holiday, I thought to fuck with it all. I ate out in restaurants. I went to the beach and even stripped off to my swimwear and went in the sea. It was liberating! I sunbathed on the beach. I went in the pool at busy times. You know what, people didn't bat an eyelid? I got friendly hellos and people were more busy with themselves and the people they were with to even look at me and if they did, to give me a second glance.

I know that being overweight can put some people off living life to the full, but please just do it.

OP posts:
SoundTheSirens · 23/07/2023 19:08

OP, you sound lovely - not just because you found the right mindset to have a great holiday, but because of how graciously and positively you've responded to the naysayers on this thread. More power to you!

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 23/07/2023 19:09

Well done op...i think we all beliebe everyone is looking at us but the truth is, they only care about themselves! I always feel like this at park run but literally nobody gives a stuff what l look like!

DrSbaitso · 23/07/2023 19:10

TheOwlChronicles · 23/07/2023 18:48

I wouldn't judge anyone for being any size on holiday but I do wonder about how wise it is to normalise being 24 stone.

It's not normalised. That's why it took OP such a lot of bravery to go on holiday and have fun without worrying about it and why you're compelled to make comments like this.

How do so many people miss this enormous point?

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 23/07/2023 19:10

It suits some thin people that there is judgement of fat people, because they need it to feel good about themselves

Oh, I wouldn't bet that the people who feel it's their public duty to enlighten others about the "scourge" of obesity are necessarily thin. Self-loathing plays out in odd ways, and the internet is suspiciously overflowing with thin, very fit women who eat "clean" diets. 🙄

Happylady165 · 23/07/2023 19:10

@2oreosandmilk Thinking of you. I want to say that what the OP is talking about is achievable for us, and I hope it is. It’s just a bumpy road of recovering.

PurpleFlower1983 · 23/07/2023 19:10

Look85 · 23/07/2023 17:20

I’m amazed you could get in the seat at 24 stone. At 20 stone I needed a seatbelt extension and was half in my husbands seat too.

it spurred me on to lose 7 stone and I enjoy holidays A LOT more now

I’m 13 stone and feel like a beached whale with a lot to lose but OP’s positive thread has spurred me on to not care what others think! You missed the point!

coodawoodashooda · 23/07/2023 19:13

Look85 · 23/07/2023 17:20

I’m amazed you could get in the seat at 24 stone. At 20 stone I needed a seatbelt extension and was half in my husbands seat too.

it spurred me on to lose 7 stone and I enjoy holidays A LOT more now

I'm so impressed op.

Favouritefruits · 23/07/2023 19:13

I envy you so much, I going in 10 days and I’m dreading the pool, I love swimming but having to go in the pool in front of people is my worst nightmare I feel sorry for my kids and husband, feel like I’m embarrassing them.

Batalax · 23/07/2023 19:13

When I’m on holiday, I scan the area, quickly see a few over weight people, feel relieved that I’m not the only imperfect body, then actually admire the beautiful bodies if I’m still surveying the scene. I certainly don’t concentrate on looking at everyone’s flaws. I’ve got enough of my own.

DrSbaitso · 23/07/2023 19:15

Favouritefruits · 23/07/2023 19:13

I envy you so much, I going in 10 days and I’m dreading the pool, I love swimming but having to go in the pool in front of people is my worst nightmare I feel sorry for my kids and husband, feel like I’m embarrassing them.

They want you to enjoy yourself and have fun with them. If you won't set aside the self loathing and enjoy the holiday for your own sake, do it for them.

Tinybrother · 23/07/2023 19:15

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 23/07/2023 19:10

It suits some thin people that there is judgement of fat people, because they need it to feel good about themselves

Oh, I wouldn't bet that the people who feel it's their public duty to enlighten others about the "scourge" of obesity are necessarily thin. Self-loathing plays out in odd ways, and the internet is suspiciously overflowing with thin, very fit women who eat "clean" diets. 🙄

I was responding to a poster who was assuming that everyone who supporting the OP was fat

weebleswobblebuttheydontfalldown · 23/07/2023 19:16

I love this!!!!! Go go girl, I'm starting to give less of a crap what I look like on holiday these days, I look after myself but am a curvy girl - we should celebrate individuality, we don't all want to look the same, how dull!! Body positivity all the way, life goes short and is for having fun 🤩

ThankYouVeryMuchGerry · 23/07/2023 19:17

OP its great that you feel like this, life's too short not to enjoy your holidays!

I was in a hotel in Cyprus in May and there were plenty of "imperfect" bodies around the pool and on the beach. No-one gave a hoot, and certainly not the people with "imperfect" bodies.

In fact, I was so impressed by how much people enjoyed showing themselves off, its inspired me to be more confident myself. They all looked amazing and their clothes were wonderful, no-one minded if there was a flash of cellulite or a roll of tummy - they just dressed how they liked and had a great time.

I think we are much more body positive now. I know I'm never going to be a waif, but I'm happy being a bit bigger as long as I'm healthy. I have been shopping for a new summer wardrobe for my forthcoming honeymoon and have been much braver in my choice of clothes.

Tinybrother · 23/07/2023 19:18

Ylvamoon · 23/07/2023 19:05

I don't care about someone else's weight.

But I judge the person next to me on the airplane.

Smelly, sticking out elbow, loud headphones and being obese are all an inconvenience to me. They are personal space invaders!

I’m slim myself, but the worst people I’ve ever sat next to have all been slim. Fat people tend to be feeling so self conscious about not invading my space, I’m often relieved when I’m placed next to a fat person (not because I want them to feel self conscious at all but they have always been more considerate in my experience)

JMSA · 23/07/2023 19:20

Whoo hoo! Good for you, OP. I'm genuinely delighted for you Star
However I went on holiday overweight to Greece this month, and my only thought was 'never again'. Don't get me wrong, I really loved being away. But I'd have enjoyed the holiday so much more if slimmer.
To me, it's just not worth it.

BellaJuno · 23/07/2023 19:20

I’m not overweight and I still get anxious getting into swimwear on holiday, I think most people do but after the first time, I lose my worries and crack on with the holiday. I bet 99% of people pause for thought about how they look but really, no-one cares! Glad you had a good time OP!

adriftabroad · 23/07/2023 19:22

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TheLathums · 23/07/2023 19:22

I think this post is probably relevant to people of all weights. I hate having to wear swimming stuff, I hate shorts, I even hate my feet being on show.
Once I'm on a lounger or in the pool, I'm ok... but I hate the walks in between and I hate going to the bar and I hate getting ready to go out in the evening.
I still manage to love holidays, though!

Door12345 · 23/07/2023 19:25

Iv been abroad twice this year and can honeslty say exact same, I'm ashamed to say I was over 30 stone in vovember last year I am now 26 stones but still of course very overweight but chipping away at it slowley , been abroad in May and June this year with Jet 2 no problems at all although I did the belt extender which was provided without issues
I spent alot of both holidays in the pool with my daughter and husband and i can't recall a single person making a comment or looking at me funny

IWantOutDoI · 23/07/2023 19:25

Well done you! I spent most of my 20s and 30s feeling far too self conscious about my weight but as you it came the point that I stop caring and at that moment I realised that nobody was checking! 😁

Cheers for your new freedom!

SamW98 · 23/07/2023 19:28

TheLathums · 23/07/2023 19:22

I think this post is probably relevant to people of all weights. I hate having to wear swimming stuff, I hate shorts, I even hate my feet being on show.
Once I'm on a lounger or in the pool, I'm ok... but I hate the walks in between and I hate going to the bar and I hate getting ready to go out in the evening.
I still manage to love holidays, though!

Absolutely it’s about body confidence not the number on a dress label or the scales.

Ive always been body conscious even when i was petty slim. As I’ve got older I’ve found my style and stuck with it. As a PP said early, being over 50 really does liberate your thought process and you give far less shits about everyone else’s opinion.

Unclecornelius · 23/07/2023 19:30

Lovely post OP.
Kindness and warmth shine through regardless of size or shape.

Shamefulsecrets0 · 23/07/2023 19:36

I'm currently the heaviest I've ever been at 8st10 (I'm under 5ft so not tiny). I recently went on holiday and there were plenty of bigger woman who looked absolutely stunning in their swimming costumes, they were confident and beautiful and most importantly enjoying themselves and able to play with their children freely - I was self conscious and felt gross and I didn't feel like I could enjoy spending time with my children because of how I felt about myself. I think it's amazing that OP was able to say fuck it and enjoy herself - that's something we should all aspire to do! It's not normalising a certain weight - it's normalising being comfortable in our own bodies and that should be normal!

Crikeyalmighty · 23/07/2023 19:37

@Trez1510 love that post

GeorgeMichaelWasHere · 23/07/2023 19:37

What a fab post OP. I’m so glad you enjoyed yourself. I started body acceptance work a few years ago after ED treatment and I’m a size 22/24 now.

We don’t go abroad but we go to the water park at Alton Towers each year when on holiday in the area and I love people watching. There is such a diverse range of people/body shapes and sizes in different types of swimsuits just enjoying themselves. It’s one thing that’s really helped me.

The only problem I have is that I’m pale, grey and pasty with thin hair regardless of my acceptance of my size, I still feel a bit pants when I catch a glimpse in the mirror. That said, I still have a fab time!