Page 7 | To tell you that if you're overweight and worried about going on holiday, don't be!

SpeedbirdSquawker · 2023-07-23T16:14:21+00:00

I'm almost 24 stone and a size 24. I'm lucky enough to be able to get away a few times a year, but my weight has always held me back doing things. I know other overweight people have similar fears, so I was hoping to alleviate those with this post. Firstly I worry about the flight and if i'm going to fit into the seat. I always need a seatbelt extender (with Ryanair, not so much with other airlines), but I fit in the seat absolutely fine! I use the toilet onboard and have room to manoeuvre. When I have been away, the beach is always full of the people with perfect bodies, as is the complex pool and i've always avoided the beach (for fear of looking like a beached whale) and i've only used the pool when it's empty, first thing or just before sunset. I don't eat out at restaurants because I thought people might judge me scoffing my face. Well, this holiday, I thought to fuck with it all. I ate out in restaurants. I went to the beach and even stripped off to my swimwear and went in the sea. It was liberating! I sunbathed on the beach. I went in the pool at busy times. You know what, people didn't bat an eyelid? I got friendly hellos and people were more busy with themselves and the people they were with to even look at me and if they did, to give me a second glance. I know that being overweight can put some people off living life to the full, but please just do it.

Original poster

SpeedbirdSquawker · 23/07/2023 20:37

SpeedbirdSquawker · 23/07/2023 20:34

That's a shame, but I don't spill over. I always book a window seat to lean over to the window more and then I look to make sure I'm not taking any of the middle seat. I however, cannot get the tray down thanks to my ginormous belly. Pisses me right off as I'd love a cup of tea!

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Oh, and I'd love to be sat next to me! I speak to if I'm spoken to, don't if i'm not, but if I am spoken to, i'm a lot of fun and love to talk about holidays with my kindred travellers.

OP posts:

MsLore · 23/07/2023 20:40

Look85 · 23/07/2023 17:20

I’m amazed you could get in the seat at 24 stone. At 20 stone I needed a seatbelt extension and was half in my husbands seat too.

it spurred me on to lose 7 stone and I enjoy holidays A LOT more now

Totally missed the mark 😒

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 23/07/2023 20:40

ecdysis · 23/07/2023 20:36

This is true, so many wait until they weigh.... to do this, to wear that, to try this...do it all now

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Definitely. There's something that I've seen many women do and that is save things 'for best' and keep it 'for best'. Never getting to use it or have pleasure from wearing it? I do it myself and it is such a dreadful thing to deprive yourself - for no damn reason!

Do it all now. We need that on a t-shirt.

LazyLeopard · 23/07/2023 20:41

Upsetrethis · 23/07/2023 17:51

You should be allowed to wear and do whatever you want , most people are too focused on themselves so aren’t looking or judging others.
However I find it really really weird how on mn when someone mentions drinking too much everyone (quite rightly) points out how unhealthy it is and how you are damaging your health long term , risking cancers etc which is absolutely true but when people talk about being hugely overweight it’s all “well done”, “be you “ etc etc. I’m assuming it’s because lots of people responding are also overweight. Being that overweight also runs the higher risks (especially with fat around your middle) of cancers and other diseases. So while drinking too much and being overweight are both serious health concerns , one seems to be treated as though it’s normal. Obesity is becoming a huge problem here in Ireland at the moment.

I have always held fat around my middle, even at less than 8stone… always had a fat middle.

why is it worse for your health around your middle?

nobodysdaughternow · 23/07/2023 20:41

This is a great post op. Limiting your life in an attempt to be more acceptable to others is such a waste.

We all get judged for something. I have a disabled child who swears, shouts out loud if he has to wait and prefers to wear the same clothes for around a week.

We get stared at and some people mutter 'advice' but all I can think is how much more I love him because he is so radically different to everyone else.

FantasticallyFabulous · 23/07/2023 20:43

Well done OP!

People are just mean and unpleasant. Nothing is gained by being cruel to someone about their weight. Feeling good about yourself is great, whatever weight you are. It is nothing to do with ‘normalising’ obesity 🙄

I was talking to my 18y son about this thread as he was sitting next to me. He said that overweight men ‘get away’ with it in a way women never do; women are treated so badly. He follows a YouTuber, a man who is obese but talks about random things and is funny. None of the comments are ever about his weight apparently; my son was saying if that was a woman, there would be so many nasty and spiteful remarks. I suspect this is another example of misogyny in action.

Mylittlepea · 23/07/2023 20:45

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FantasticallyFabulous · 23/07/2023 20:46

LazyLeopard · 23/07/2023 20:41

I have always held fat around my middle, even at less than 8stone… always had a fat middle.

why is it worse for your health around your middle?

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I am less than eight stone but all my weight is on my middle. It is a sign that fat is round my kidneys and internal
organs. Which puts me at risk of cardiovascular disease. I envy those who are bigger than me but with fat on their buns and thighs. They will have better health outcomes than me!

Fannyfiggs · 23/07/2023 20:48

Crikeyalmighty · 23/07/2023 20:30

One helpful tip I've found is that whilst I'm still overweight ( down to 14 stone 1 from 16 stone 3 in November last year) I instantly upped my appearance- wore my better clothes, put on the blusher and bronzer, got out my best perfume and turned my mental thoughts to 'actually you look pretty nice for 61, but you can look better' - rather than my mental thoughts before which were 'you look fat and a bit of a mess' - People did notice even when I initially hadn't lost much saying 'you look well' - I've decided 'you look well' is fine and if I lose more than this then it's a total bonus. Looking your best and enjoying yourself - whatever the scales say I think is the best place to start from if you want to make any changes for health.

I love this!! Thank you for sharing @Crikeyalmighty

@SpeedbirdSquawker you seem so lovely that, no matter what weight you are, your beauty will shine through xx

Mylittlepea · 23/07/2023 20:48

Look85 · 23/07/2023 17:20

I’m amazed you could get in the seat at 24 stone. At 20 stone I needed a seatbelt extension and was half in my husbands seat too.

it spurred me on to lose 7 stone and I enjoy holidays A LOT more now

Theres always one🤔🙄

Trez1510 · 23/07/2023 20:48

@Crikeyalmighty and @ecdysis - great posts, both.

My biggest regret in life is not understanding this in my teens, 20s, 30s, 40s and most of my 50s!!

If even only one person on this thread is inspired by @SpeedbirdSquawker's recent enlightenment/experience, and our collective encouragement and support, and it allows that person to go for it, I'd say the job's a good 'un! 👍

FantasticallyFabulous · 23/07/2023 20:49

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‘always look at those skinny bitches on holiday and wonder if they are hungry🤣’

That is a little rude. You would probably say that about me as I am the shape you describe despite having a great appetite. There is no real need to demonise women who are a different shape and size to you. I mean your comments don’t devastate me, but they are rather unnecessary.

continentallentil · 23/07/2023 20:49

Upsetrethis · 23/07/2023 17:51

You should be allowed to wear and do whatever you want , most people are too focused on themselves so aren’t looking or judging others.
However I find it really really weird how on mn when someone mentions drinking too much everyone (quite rightly) points out how unhealthy it is and how you are damaging your health long term , risking cancers etc which is absolutely true but when people talk about being hugely overweight it’s all “well done”, “be you “ etc etc. I’m assuming it’s because lots of people responding are also overweight. Being that overweight also runs the higher risks (especially with fat around your middle) of cancers and other diseases. So while drinking too much and being overweight are both serious health concerns , one seems to be treated as though it’s normal. Obesity is becoming a huge problem here in Ireland at the moment.

No one has said being very overweight is healthy.

They are applauding the OP for getting out and living her life.

Overeating is an addictive behaviour and it is very hard to fix.

What definitely won’t help the obesity crisis is making people feel bad about themselves.

Changing addictive behaviour is much more likely to happen if you feel OK about yourself.

It’s extraordinary how you’ve managed to misread an entire thread. The reductive thinking around the very complex problem of obesity is remarkable.

Worthlessthannothing · 23/07/2023 20:50

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 23/07/2023 20:18

Upsetrethis you're absolutely wrong about the drinking too much thing. If anybody dares to say anything to anybody about the amount they admit to drinking, they are rounded on and written off as 'a sniff of sherry at Christmas'. You're right in that it's the same analogy, it definitely is.

Nobody thinks that being overweight is ideal anymore than they think that alcoholism is the way to go. Anybody dealing with any of those issues is well aware of it, they don't need hounding and being made to feel worse.

There is a cohort on this board that finds obesity/weight/fat some sort of catnip and without fail, they appear with their petty, mean-minded judgement. Women don't need any of that and certainly not from other women so, in case you were wondering why you've been pulled up on it, that could be it. Your 'worry and concern about Ireland' is utterly transparent; it's not your job to worry about Ireland's people, they will manage themselves without your 'help', so just stop it.

So perfectly put, there is definitely a group on here that likes to bang on about health and the NHS around obesity, but if anyone raises that alcohol issues cause not only health problems but social ones, things like drink driving, anti social behaviour, poor mental health, poor behaviour....... Then you're mocked and told 'having more than a thimble full of sherry at Christmas isn't a problem with alcohol'.
Alcohol causes more problems than obesity, when was the last time someone lost their licence for having one too many donuts? Or thrown out of a pub for overindulgence on Mars Bars? Or caused a fight because they had that second bag of crisps?

The crux of the issue is that fat people wear their 'weakness' around them, it's visible and hard to miss and easy to judge for a weakness. People who have issues with alcohol can hide it so much better, and therefore it's easier to deny and mock anyone who mentions it, and therefore easier to avoid the judgement.

Yes there are health issues around obesity, but no more really (and less so with some) than any other unhealthy relationship with anything, alcohol, nicotine, cocaine, weed...... And they're all abused to some extent by a great many people.

I have known people who could never be fat (their words) but they would easily sink a bottle of wine a night - it's that the wine, and being drunk or even a functional alcoholic is more socially acceptable at the moment than being fat.

Oigetoffmylawn · 23/07/2023 20:50

SpeedbirdSquawker · 23/07/2023 17:27

@Look85 Very well done on your weight loss. That's amazing!

I definitely need a seatbelt extender on Ryanair, but I fit in the seat fine. My weight is definitely around my belly and boobs, but width-ways, i'm not too bad which is good for flying.

My weight is unfortunately all in my hips, so I don't need a seatbelt extender, but I struggle to fit in the seat. On a virgin flight recently they 'upgraded' us to the front row, where the sides of the seat are filled and rigid because they contain your TV and tray. It was really uncomfortable.

The rest of you post I totally agree with though!

I guess some of it is where your weight lies!

ireallycantthinkofaname · 23/07/2023 20:51

this post is great. I hope many people now feel brave enough to go on holiday and enjoy themselves. OP, here's to many more lovely breaks in the sun for you to come

JMSA · 23/07/2023 20:52

FantasticallyFabulous · 23/07/2023 20:43

Well done OP!

People are just mean and unpleasant. Nothing is gained by being cruel to someone about their weight. Feeling good about yourself is great, whatever weight you are. It is nothing to do with ‘normalising’ obesity 🙄

I was talking to my 18y son about this thread as he was sitting next to me. He said that overweight men ‘get away’ with it in a way women never do; women are treated so badly. He follows a YouTuber, a man who is obese but talks about random things and is funny. None of the comments are ever about his weight apparently; my son was saying if that was a woman, there would be so many nasty and spiteful remarks. I suspect this is another example of misogyny in action.

What a wise young man you have raised. He's totally right.

GetYourHandsOffMyCake · 23/07/2023 20:53

Are you particularly tall, OP? I wonder how you can be size 24 if you weigh 24 stone. I applaud you for having the confidence to enjoy your holiday (and so you should).

ecdysis · 23/07/2023 20:55

GetYourHandsOffMyCake · 23/07/2023 20:53

Are you particularly tall, OP? I wonder how you can be size 24 if you weigh 24 stone. I applaud you for having the confidence to enjoy your holiday (and so you should).

I think it depends on how you carry it. I carry it everywhere, which spreads it around well

chickensdead · 23/07/2023 20:57

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Jifmicroliquid · 23/07/2023 20:57

Life is short, and hard at times. Everyone should feel they can enjoy their holidays, no matter what size they are.
Good for you OP!

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SpeedbirdSquawker · 23/07/2023 20:59

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What should Icandothis1970 be for me? Should she be angry at me for being fat?

OP posts:

amusedbush · 23/07/2023 21:00

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Okay, own up: who left the gate open at the cunt farm?

chickensdead · 23/07/2023 21:02

Angry? No. But for your sake nobody should ever be normalising twenty four stone in weight. The health implications alone should make everyone around you concerned about about your future and a path to self destruction. Normalising it by being chuffed for you is incredulous and extremely harmful.

ireallycantthinkofaname · 23/07/2023 21:05

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Crikey! A wild twatasaurus maximus in it's natural habitat, the comment section of an online forum! would you just look at that, and it's performing its signature move, shitting on something positive, too. Aren't we just blessed to have such a sighting?!