Noise complaints from Neighbours

[Eachpeachpears]

I've recently circled back to mn and this situation is currently under control but looms under the surface constantly so I'm keen for opinions.

We moved into semi detached bungalow in December. Neighbours in the other semi detached bungalow moved in a week before us. Both housing association properties. Both housed on a basis of level access requirement.

We have 2 DC, aged 4 and 2. DH has autism and a physical disability. I have a physical disability. Both disabilities are 'invisible' but very much present.

We accepted the property in December and DC and I came to put curtains up one evening before moving in the following weekend. The day after putting curtains up, neighbours appeared saying "please dont put your TV on the adjoining wall as we could hear you just talking yesterday". A bit odd but I put the noise down to no carpet or furniture in the home yet. Did plan to put TV on that wall but changed plans to accommodate.
Since we have lived here, they have mentioned the noise at least once a month.
Most recently they said the main issue was the children coming home at 3.30 as the mum of the family living there (daughter and elderly mother) likes to lie down between 2 and 4 for a nap.

I will clearly state here that DC are not loud. They can laugh, cry, giggle etc as all children would. But are not loud. We know this as DH and I both struggle with noise processing and get easily overwhelmed so we are a very calm household.

We have done numerous things to help the noise, including putting silencers on the doors so none of the doors close properly now, including bathroom. This was to stop door slamming. We have put cushioning on the kitchen furniture to prevent scraping. We do not allow DC to play in their room before 8am as we know their room backs on to the elderly mums room.
We have just spent £500 on having the hallway carpeted as this was previously laminate and the neighbours complained about footsteps.
(We will by pass the passive aggressive comment from the neighbours about the carpet fitter working too early (8am on a Friday)).

Well done if you've got this far, I just hate a drip feed. I know we've done more things to accommodate them I just can't remember what. At one point they banged on the wall while I was reading to my kids. We argued about that as I said they were rude. This was back in Dec though. The rest has been civil since then and all other measures have been this side of Xmas.
So, would I be unreasonable to say the next time they mention this "I appreciate your position but we have done more than enough to accommodate you and I politely request you don't mention this to me again".
I feel like I need to protect my own mental health a bit.

I don’t think there’s much else you can do tbh. If they keep complaining report them to the c

I’d suggest to them that if they can’t cope with daily noise they move to a rural detached property and leave you alone

Tell them to stop harassing you, and report their complaints to the house owner.

I think I’d have to reply ‘We are not being noisy, my family is just living in their home.’ Maybe suggest your neighbours do some soundproofing on their side if they are so bothered. I certainly wouldn’t have indulged them as much as you already have!

I can imagine how awful this is. you are being so considerate and don't want the stress hanging over you.

How much do you hear from their side?

Small children can be loud but it sounds like you are being cautious of this plus your children will grow up and noise does become less!

Can you hear them, just out of interest?

They sound totally unreasonable - neighbour noise can be awful but all humans make some noise and they cannot expect you to live in silence.

"I appreciate your position but we have done more than enough to accommodate you and I politely request you don't mention this to me again". Sounds perfect.

We can't hear them at all. But when I said this to them they said "yes we don't believe in TV so we tend to sit in silence. We rarely talk to each other". I've heard the odd cupboard close and dropped item though.

I forgot to mention when they first complained about it and I challenged them they said "we expected a disabled person next door so when children turned up it was a shock" to which replied "what makes you think I'm not disabled, or that my husband or children arnt disabled" I felt I had to justify our rights to the house to them which I know I dont

I'd write to your housing association and ask for sound proofing to be fitted to all party walls between the two properties. Clearly your neighbours are batshit, but you also need to be able to live in your property normally and currently you can't.

Direct them to the housing association every time, grey rock technique

they sound utterly boring and a couple of moaners, who sits in silence. Ask them to leave you alone now.

Ignore them, or keep repeating “thank you for your feedback”. I would however, get in early and report them to your housing association. What you don’t want to be doing is having to defend yourselves when they report you.

“We can't hear them at all. But when I said this to them they said "yes we don't believe in TV so we tend to sit in silence. We rarely talk to each other"

No wonder they can hear you. They refuse to actually live and make a noise. You’ve been more than accommodating. They need to move.

Love the "thank you for your feedback" comment! We have consulted the housing association who have notes on it all and have said they won't step in on normal living noise so we're good on that front

If you can hear cupboards and things being dropped, they can hear everything. I don't think they are batshit, but I also don't think they understand it's building fault.
Agree with pp about contacting HA about soundrooing. If you get neighbours to do the same, it might work.

I'd defiently get in there first with contacting your housing association. Evan if its just to inform them so they know the neighbours are hareasing you constantly with noise complaints.

Perhaps next time you hear the tiniest noise from their house you should pop round and ask them to quieten down and see how they respond, I bet they won't be as nice and accommodating as you have been!

You’ve told the housing association and they’ve confirmed that as it’s just normal household noise it’s not ASB so won’t get involved.

Next time your neighbours complain tell them it’s normal household noise and you are finding their constant complaints harassing and they need to stop.

I have a little sympathy with them as I would not usually expect a family with a child to be in the type of accommodation you require (not saying you dont need it, just that I imagine more elderly people in bungalows). So they probably were not prepared for child noises, even if those are very quiet as it sounds like they are. In a different type of house, perhaps they would have expected it. However, to say you should keep quiet during the day time or that you should not read to your kids is totally unreasonable. I would document anything they say to you, report to the HA and direct them back to the HA with any complaints as you have made all reasonable efforts to cut down on day to day living noises.

God they sound bloody awful! I would ignore them from now on.

Bless you. I had this exact situation - first floor maisonette (us) and neighbour in a flat downstairs. She made our lives absolute hell fearing every noise made by our 2 small DC. She would scream and bang on the walls at 11am on a weekend because my 2 year old daughter was playing in her room with a dollhouse.

Naturally every avenue she tried to follow to assert herself over us failed because it was plain as day it was normal family life noise. Kids were in bed by 7 - 8pm and slept til 7am, we never had friends round let alone hosted gatherings. Ironically we would often hear loud arguments, music, parties and she had a boy racer dickhead partner with a sawn off exhaust who would blare down the street at 6am each morning.

Some people are just incredibly entitled but this house is my first ever property of my own and it deeply affected me, to the point where I feel like it damaged my relationship with my D'S when he was little as I was constantly chastising him out of fear and stress, and he was just doing perfectly normal kids things.

A neighbour moved in after several months and I swore I would never put myself or the kids through the stress of kow towing to somebody else's unreasonable noise demands again..

You will have to just let it go OP, you cannot put yourself or your family through a life of walking on eggshells. With people like this it will never be enough either.

Would you like me to come around with my family and our normal noise level . They sound really unreasonable and in fact putting the tv elsewhere was a silly request because speakers are directional! They need to either move to a detached rural isolated property (obviously not an option) or sound proof their side as you sound like lovely considerate neighbours. Your children being read to ... sorry but if that caused a complaint they need to speak to the housing association about the walls being inadequate because no walls should be that thin. Currently we have music on loud ... my neighbours say they can't hear us, it's how terraced housing should be built, with nouse insulation

@Atethehalloweenchocs as is a 2 bed or more unlikely to be reserved accommodation for over 55s. Plus moving in within a week of each other suggests a new build. I’d expect sound proofing to be better.

Carpets do help. I never hear my neighbours one side. I heard everything with the ones who didn’t have carpet. When a new tenant moved in she carpeted it and I never ever hear her.

Absolutely, tell them you are sure that the noise from your property is no more than usual household noise, which you have tried to mitigate as far.as possible and that they are welcome to make a formal complaint if they are not satisfied as what normal household noise there is would not be considered statutory nuisance and the environmental health could confirm that for them.

@CornishTiger not a new build, it just so happened the two bungalows came up at the same time. One previous occupant went into a home and the other sadly died.
The houses are 70's ish

Been there with that one, I contacted the council and asked for an assessment. They suggested soundproofing the party wall but would charge our neighbours as they had bought their place. Didn't get any more complaints. 🤣
DMs husband is a serial complainer. Moaned when a young man was put into the bungalow next-door to them and he played rock music during the day 😂. Tried saying it was old people's bungalows, the council put him back in his box. The young man was paralysed from the waist down and housed on need.