Noise complaints from Neighbours

[Eachpeachpears]

I've recently circled back to mn and this situation is currently under control but looms under the surface constantly so I'm keen for opinions.

We moved into semi detached bungalow in December. Neighbours in the other semi detached bungalow moved in a week before us. Both housing association properties. Both housed on a basis of level access requirement.

We have 2 DC, aged 4 and 2. DH has autism and a physical disability. I have a physical disability. Both disabilities are 'invisible' but very much present.

We accepted the property in December and DC and I came to put curtains up one evening before moving in the following weekend. The day after putting curtains up, neighbours appeared saying "please dont put your TV on the adjoining wall as we could hear you just talking yesterday". A bit odd but I put the noise down to no carpet or furniture in the home yet. Did plan to put TV on that wall but changed plans to accommodate.
Since we have lived here, they have mentioned the noise at least once a month.
Most recently they said the main issue was the children coming home at 3.30 as the mum of the family living there (daughter and elderly mother) likes to lie down between 2 and 4 for a nap.

I will clearly state here that DC are not loud. They can laugh, cry, giggle etc as all children would. But are not loud. We know this as DH and I both struggle with noise processing and get easily overwhelmed so we are a very calm household.

We have done numerous things to help the noise, including putting silencers on the doors so none of the doors close properly now, including bathroom. This was to stop door slamming. We have put cushioning on the kitchen furniture to prevent scraping. We do not allow DC to play in their room before 8am as we know their room backs on to the elderly mums room.
We have just spent £500 on having the hallway carpeted as this was previously laminate and the neighbours complained about footsteps.
(We will by pass the passive aggressive comment from the neighbours about the carpet fitter working too early (8am on a Friday)).

Well done if you've got this far, I just hate a drip feed. I know we've done more things to accommodate them I just can't remember what. At one point they banged on the wall while I was reading to my kids. We argued about that as I said they were rude. This was back in Dec though. The rest has been civil since then and all other measures have been this side of Xmas.
So, would I be unreasonable to say the next time they mention this "I appreciate your position but we have done more than enough to accommodate you and I politely request you don't mention this to me again".
I feel like I need to protect my own mental health a bit.

This.

Loved the 4 year olds response.

None of the noise you have mentioned is other than in the daytime and when it would be OK for someone to dig in the road or do DIY.

Housing associations don't put sound proofing in unfortunately.
I've got a very noisy neighbour. I've complained to the HA about her, think loud dance music and parties till the early hours. Not normal living noise.
HA haven't done a thing. Told me to soundproof if her music is annoying me!!

That has made me laugh. Sometimes, young children say just the right thing 😁

You have to ignore any more complaints and live your life as reasonable people. If they just sit in silence - they have 'issues' and any sound will impact on them - even stirring your tea! I'm imagining any sound real or imagined is something that they sit and wait for. You cannot be ruled by their issues - they need a house detached from everything as they are clearly detached from reality.

If they want silence they need to live away from anyone else. It is not for you to restrict your lives to accommodate theirs. Also I’d be concerned about the not being able to shut doors properly. Fire fighter in the family here and every door should be shut at bedtime for safety.

live your lives, let your kids play in their rooms whenever they like. Don’t restrict yourselves for the benefit of strangers. If they mention anything again tell them to sod off. Put yourselves first. Your enjoyment of your home is being compromised and it needs to stop.

If they choose to nap between 2-4, that's their choice. You don't have to be quiet.

Noise is only antisocial between 2300-0700 in the morning. Everything else is expected noise.

They're being unreasonable.

It sounds like you've done your best to deal with the problem (which is the inadequate soundproofing). Their contribution might be to move the nap half an hour earlier - then the 3.30 return from school wouldn't be a problem. Doesn't solve the school holidays, I guess, but if you know when naptime is perhaps you can prioritise that time for taking the kids to the park, or them doing something quiet. If you are able to do that, then you could drop them a note/pop round before terms starts again to say "we've been trying to keep the kids out/quiet between 2 and 4, but we're back to school routine next week so you might want to nap half an hour earlier."

What a creepy image, them sitting around in silence.

What's creepy about it? We don't have a TV here. DP is reading a book and I'm playing on the laptop. Other than the gentle sound of the rain coming down the chimney it's blissfully quiet. Even the dogs are snoozing quietly on the sofa next to me.

However OP, I do think they are being unreasonable in this case. It's inevitable that you will hear each other in a 70s construction unless you get the dividing wall soundproofed.

Politely tell them you plan to start hovering the walls or officiate screaming competitions if they don't f off.