AIBU - child in white dress a wedding

[sweetdevil90]

So obviously it's a no-no for a grown up to wear a white dress as a wedding guest, but would I be unreasonable to put my 5 year old in a white dress for a wedding?
It's not too frilly or fussy, and she really wants to wear it. Would it be a massive Faux pas, or can a 5 year old get away with it?

I think anyone who would be that het up about a five year olds outfit, would have a child free wedding.

It's lovely to see little ones in their party outfits at weddings.

Very few children at a wedding last year, the girl (not mine and not bridesmaid) wore white with a pink ribbon round her waist to match a pink cardigan and pink shoes. She looked gorgeous and the bride thought so too. The ribbon really brought the outfit all together, so worth considering.

This. Just make sure it doesn't look too flowergirly my DD was a flowergirl recently and their dresses were ivory

I can't see the other guests caring that much about a child's outfit

My SIL did exactly this. We didn’t have bridesmaids, and guess what, 7 yr old niece turns up in a puffy white dress with pink sash. If I’d wanted flower girls, I would have asked her and all her cousins too.

I couldn’t have cared less what the children guests wore to my wedding (within reason, I probably would have raised an eyebrow at a Spider-Man costume for example). Can’t see an issue with fuchsia pink either. Surely no bride is going to moan about being upstaged by a 5 year old?

This is mumsnet. Your child must not wear, white, black, red, yellow or probably any colour really. Put her in a white dress and people will think she is about to get married.

I don't see the big deal with them looking like flower girls if they're just sitting in a pew or chair watching the ceremony. It's obvious they aren't in the wedding party

How utterly horrifying. The child was dressed in a white party dress and probably felt beautiful. I hope you cropped her out of any photos and had serious words with your sil. I can’t believe this child was allowed to ruin your special day like this.

Our flower girls wore white…with bright cardigans! 😂 I would have been delighted to have any/all of the children there in white party dresses if that’s what they wanted to wear. Nothing better than seeing a little child delighted in their outfit, whether that’s puddle jumping in wellies, or twirling in a full on flower girl dress.

I went to a wedding where the bride had adult bridesmaids all wearing different dresses in different shades of the same colour. Except they were all high street dresses not bridesmaid dresses and there were a few guests in almost identical dresses. Nobody seemed to mind, least of all the bride, but I would have felt awful if I had dressed like an imitation bridesmaid.

You could run the risk of her looking like part of the wedding party if the flower girls/young bridesmaids are wearing white.

Dd wore a cream dress to a wedding as a toddler. I've never even considered it might've been inappropriate until now!

Unless you know what colour the wedding party are wearing it's hard to know what will be acceptable. And many brides seem to keep that stuff secret until the big day now.

I bought my DD who was 3 at the time a lovely fuchsia pink party dress dress for my friend's wedding. As the date got closer we realised it would be a snowy day so I got her a little white faux fur cardigan to wear with it.

I was really embarrassed when the bridesmaids turned up in fuchsia dresses and white fur stoles. I apologised to my friend afterwards but she just thought it was funny.

Child wear bright coloured dress. So? I can't understand why anyone would be bothered about that on the day let alone any time later.

Really?! You need to get a grip.

I really wouldn't. She might look like a flower girl

So what? I’m pretty sure the fact that she’s not walking with the bride down the aisle, is not in the wedding party and not in the photos with the other flower girls will soon make it apparent she’s not. And who cares anyway?

It's 2023, I didn't think it mattered what anyone wore to a wedding these days.

I'm getting married today!! Just delighted to be surrounded by my friends and family so absolutely fine with child wearing a white dress. In Brighton and storms forecast ...

Oh, I went further than that. Posted dozens of passive aggressive, poorly spelt posts on social media, containing a myriad of veiled references to self-appointed bridesmaids, and 17 years on we’re still not spoken a word to each other since.

Or, did I briefly think, “Ooh, SIL’s got the hump about her DD not being involved”, then move on? I guess we’ll never know.

Nothing better than seeing a little child delighted in their outfit, whether that’s puddle jumping in wellies, or twirling in a full on flower girl dress.

I can think of loads of better things TBH

@NancyJoan I think (hope) @MissingMonday was being sarcastic?

People saying “What if the flower girls are wearing white?” seem to be missing the point that this would apply to any colour the OP put her daughter in. The flower girls (if there are any) could be wearing any colour, so OP’s DD is no more likely to match them in white than she is in pink, blue, navy or whatever.

Honestly, depending on the style of dress I might assume you were annoyed she was asked to be a flower girl. I was at a wedding recently where one of the girls was in what was clearly a flower girl dress, and I heard a few comments about it across the day. It’s not a faux pas though.

I agree with messaging the bride and adding colour to the outfit. I've seen children wear their Christening/Baptism etc clothes if they've been invited to the wedding in the same year and it makes sense to do that. If you are buying new, then white or the colour for the bridesmaids should be avoided.