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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Where does your bra sit?

76 replies

SleepingStandingUp · 21/07/2023 13:38

Looking for new bras as the wires have popped out of mine. So looking for what will fit and look right partic with a specific dress etc. And I'm wondering if I'm wearing bras weird or the models do?
The bottom of the cup / bone sits directly under my breast so my large saggy ones aren't lying on my skin. But the more I look at photos like these, they clearly don't. The bra cup sits really low sorta half way down the rib cage.
It's not just this one model now ilook properly.

Am I doing it wrong??

www.yoursclothing.co.uk/yours-curve-pale-blue-lace-padded-t-shirt-bra-p

www.yoursclothing.co.uk/white-underwired-plunge-t-shirt-bra-p

OP posts:
Meadowflower2023 · 21/07/2023 18:05

RampantIvy · 21/07/2023 16:46

Is there a UK equivalent of this kind of bra shop?

I can recommend an excellent independent lingerie shop if you are anywhere near Sheffield @TokyoStories.

I'm not far from Sheffield. Would love to know where this is please.

RampantIvy · 21/07/2023 18:40

Posted too soon. You need to make an appointment for a bra fitting, you can't just turn up.

Nowfreefromangst · 21/07/2023 18:47

Try Bravissimo, they are great for larger boobs. The website shows models of all sizes in great fitting, pretty bras.
In their shops the fitters not only make sure you are wearing the right size, but also the right shape
I have used them throughout my life from 20s, having babies and also post menopause
Good luck, hope you get comfortable soon 😀

cobden28 · 21/07/2023 19:55

Do you buy your bra's the same size as the ones that wear out, or do you go and be properly fitted for a bra by a trained bra fitter - I used to find that Marks and Spencer bra fitters were very good and helpful, although I did have to hunt around for someone with a tape measure round their neck to be able to take proper measurements with.

Narwhalsh · 21/07/2023 20:47

‘Boob or bust’ for at home measuring-I swear by it!!

CallieRedux · 21/07/2023 20:49

Not wrong. I'm a (U.S) 32F with wide spread, top rounded breasts - nipples are up there, but that much breast still droops - a LOT. FINALLY found front closing bras with underwires that encompass breasts all the way around the sides AND actually sit flush with chest in between. Still "swoop and scoop", but back of bra actually sits as far down as it should, and support and comfort are stellar.

Hrm, not letting me post a link, but stick this in Google. Listed as "plus sized", but start at 32".

CALVENA Racerback Front Closure Bra for Women Plus Size Seamless Unlined Underwire Bra Plunge Comfort Bra

RampantIvy · 21/07/2023 21:19

This one @CallieRedux?

Meadowflower2023 · 21/07/2023 21:36

RampantIvy · 21/07/2023 18:40

Posted too soon. You need to make an appointment for a bra fitting, you can't just turn up.

Great thanks.

GladAllOver · 21/07/2023 21:41

As others posted above, mine live in a drawer unless I positively have to wear one under a revealing dress. Awful things.

ThinWomansBrain · 21/07/2023 21:59

Maybe the models don't have "large saggy ones"😂

CallieRedux · 21/07/2023 22:47

Actually, this one, which starts at 32" rather than 34", but that one looks great, too.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/07/2023 00:03

cobden28 · 21/07/2023 19:55

Do you buy your bra's the same size as the ones that wear out, or do you go and be properly fitted for a bra by a trained bra fitter - I used to find that Marks and Spencer bra fitters were very good and helpful, although I did have to hunt around for someone with a tape measure round their neck to be able to take proper measurements with.

I just try and jig the size a bit next time. There isn't an M&S in my local town, let alone anything fancier.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 22/07/2023 00:04

ThinWomansBrain · 21/07/2023 21:59

Maybe the models don't have "large saggy ones"😂

I'm sure theirs are far nicer than mine but they do end up looking saggier in the pics when they're ill fitted

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 22/07/2023 00:06

Narwhalsh · 21/07/2023 20:47

‘Boob or bust’ for at home measuring-I swear by it!!

Tries to make me a 38back.im Def a 40 and then I get messed up with cup sizes

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 22/07/2023 00:12

CallieRedux · 21/07/2023 22:47

Actually, this one, which starts at 32" rather than 34", but that one looks great, too.

I need this but on bigger than an E 😒 I'm a 40J-ish

OP posts:
InDaiTri · 22/07/2023 01:58

Please Google 'a bra that fits' or even better find their sub-reddit! It's just a bra size calculator and then the sub-reddit has a lot of useful information about identifying your shape and what styles of bras might work best for you. If you have Instagram, search for 'the Irish bra lady' too - there's a lot of great examples of property fitted bras! While the calculator won't always be 100% accurate it's a great starting point in trying to find your real bra size. Don't be surprised if the results are wildly different from what you've been wearing, the so called 'sticker shock' is real!

Notellinganyone · 22/07/2023 09:44

Rigby andPeller changed my life - no exaggeration- 26 years ago. Once you’ve been fitted properly you’ll know how to do it yourself. IME Bravissimo not as good.

Notellinganyone · 22/07/2023 09:46

SleepingStandingUp · 22/07/2023 00:03

I just try and jig the size a bit next time. There isn't an M&S in my local town, let alone anything fancier.

M and S bra fitters notoriously dreadful. They are not properly trained and still use tape measures. They are the reason I wore a 36 C for years when I was actually 28 F.

GlasgowGal82 · 22/07/2023 09:46

As PP have said the models in those photos are wearing badly fitted bras, which is pretty common. Who knows why it happens, perhaps because they book a model and bring a bunch of bras to a shoot without worrying too much about size? Lots of women wear badly fitting bras though. I'd really recommend getting properly fitted in a decent lingerie shop (not marks and spencers whose cup sizes don't go high enough for many women so they'll just try to flog you one with a bigger band size to accommodate). Try Bravissimo who have shops in most big cities and also do a good online fitting service. The Boob or Bust facebook group is also really good for learning more about finding a good fitting bra, and they have a self-measuring technique which works for lots of women (although not for me).

blondiepigtails · 22/07/2023 10:04

Definitely go to an independent or Bravissimo. M&S fitted me as a 34DD for years. Turns out I was a 30FF. I had no idea that such a size existed then. Boob or Bust Facebook advice page is very good. If your tape measure is measuring 38in under your boobs, that’s. Good starting point but you will need to go up at least a cup size from what you expect - as do most people. It’s also not just about cup size, it’s also style and make. I cannot wear a plunge bra. Fantasie bras are the only make that suit me and then, only certain styles. It’s a minefield but when you find the unicorn, you’ll be transformed - comfy and shapely! Good luck

GrumpyInsomniac · 22/07/2023 10:28

As someone who works in fashion marketing, we often just have samples to shoot on the model, and even when you know what size the samples are, finding a model that fits perfectly isn’t always easy.

In our case, we usually have samples in a size 10, but most of the models available are a size 8, no matter how hard we try to cast a size 10. We do also shoot size 16, but that’s another whole set of issues to cast for - there is a lot more inconsistent sizing between top and bottom half, for example, and the fact the industry as a whole doesn’t follow the same measurements can mean that while the model themselves wears a size 16 in many brands, she’s a size 18 for ours. Or she’s a 14 top and 18 bottom, at which point we’re not going to get her into size 16 jumpsuits or trousers.

So I can quite imagine that if all you have is samples in a 34C, for example, you’ll struggle to cast a model to that bra size. Most brands cast based on more than just fit, and often the agencies don’t provide a bra size, giving only a chest measurement. I’ll typically put a brief out to 8 agencies, get 20-25 models back from each to sift through, and only call to castings the ones that both have measurements that will work and also look like they will fit the brand image. From all of that, I’ll see the physical fit and make a decision based upon how the model truly fits the clothes. It takes ages.

One of the stylists we’ve worked with also does styling for a high end lingerie brand, and the kit of bits she has available to resolve fit problems includes a fresh roll of toilet paper to stick in the bra band at the back for when the model has too narrow a rib cage for the samples, for example. There are lots of tricks and hacks to get through a shoot and have the garments look like they fit. So while I’m a lot less judgmental about what I see these days on model shots, it does also inform my expectations of what things will look like on me. I can tell when something has been clipped, for example.

We do say what size our models are and what clothes size they usually wear. My favourite shoot days are those where we’ve not had to pin or clip a single garment: it’s almost a personal victory compared to where the brand was 2 years ago. But I’m well aware from talking to stylists and photographers that I’m unusually picky about fit issues. Most brands seem to operate on a “good enough” approach. I will still always be the person calling for us to only cast someone that actually fit the samples, though. As this post shows, there’s only so much you can fix after the shoot in Photoshop.

boboshmobo · 22/07/2023 10:45

That is where your bra should be , against your rib cage and the strap across the higher end of the middle of your back .

Are you sure Thursday are wearing the right size?

Theyreallydidaskthat · 22/07/2023 11:27

GrumpyInsomniac · 22/07/2023 10:28

As someone who works in fashion marketing, we often just have samples to shoot on the model, and even when you know what size the samples are, finding a model that fits perfectly isn’t always easy.

In our case, we usually have samples in a size 10, but most of the models available are a size 8, no matter how hard we try to cast a size 10. We do also shoot size 16, but that’s another whole set of issues to cast for - there is a lot more inconsistent sizing between top and bottom half, for example, and the fact the industry as a whole doesn’t follow the same measurements can mean that while the model themselves wears a size 16 in many brands, she’s a size 18 for ours. Or she’s a 14 top and 18 bottom, at which point we’re not going to get her into size 16 jumpsuits or trousers.

So I can quite imagine that if all you have is samples in a 34C, for example, you’ll struggle to cast a model to that bra size. Most brands cast based on more than just fit, and often the agencies don’t provide a bra size, giving only a chest measurement. I’ll typically put a brief out to 8 agencies, get 20-25 models back from each to sift through, and only call to castings the ones that both have measurements that will work and also look like they will fit the brand image. From all of that, I’ll see the physical fit and make a decision based upon how the model truly fits the clothes. It takes ages.

One of the stylists we’ve worked with also does styling for a high end lingerie brand, and the kit of bits she has available to resolve fit problems includes a fresh roll of toilet paper to stick in the bra band at the back for when the model has too narrow a rib cage for the samples, for example. There are lots of tricks and hacks to get through a shoot and have the garments look like they fit. So while I’m a lot less judgmental about what I see these days on model shots, it does also inform my expectations of what things will look like on me. I can tell when something has been clipped, for example.

We do say what size our models are and what clothes size they usually wear. My favourite shoot days are those where we’ve not had to pin or clip a single garment: it’s almost a personal victory compared to where the brand was 2 years ago. But I’m well aware from talking to stylists and photographers that I’m unusually picky about fit issues. Most brands seem to operate on a “good enough” approach. I will still always be the person calling for us to only cast someone that actually fit the samples, though. As this post shows, there’s only so much you can fix after the shoot in Photoshop.

That's really interesting.

Grannny · 22/07/2023 11:34

I'd second that - it was a revelation to me, realising I'd been wearing the wrong size (or rather buying but not wearing any!) for years!

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