A child with a lot of personality

[Wanttogetoffthehamsterwheel]

Dd, 5, report stated this…any teachers here (or anyone else) that can read through this teacher speak 😂
Is this a positive or negative thing?

As a teacher, I would use that as a positive comment.

OP, nearly all of the teachers here, who have probably a written a combined total of possibly over a thousand of reports over their collective careers, say that it's most likely a positive comment. Teachers nurture all kinds of characters and temperaments, from the boisterous to the more contemplative, but sometimes the 'big personalities' stand out. Often they can be very funny and entertaining.

Since reading this post, I've been thinking back to all of the children I've worked with over the past 20 years, and I can't think of one who I would describe as having a 'big personality' who had traits which I also found challenging. Yes, teacher language is diplomatic but the areas for development do need to be very clear. If this child was as much of a 'PITA' as the majority of posters seem to think, the teacher will have flagged up the relevant areas.

Big personality is good!

Well said @Faradalla

My God she's going to be a complete nightmare at school with a parent like you.

No 4 year old is a natural born leader..entitled, spoilt , bossy and used to getting their own way, maybe.

The nursery will also be glad when she is no longer there.

I feel a bit sorry for her actually.

I would describe my second child as having a lot of personality. He is very chatty, ridiculously sociable, loves his friends, shares beautifully and is really kind.

I'm obviously not sure what the teacher meant in your case but as far as I'm concerned a lot of personality means that they don't blend into the crowd.

What an arrogant thing to say to a teacher, whi was politely telling you that your child doesn't behave or do what they are told and is disruptive

I'm not surprised they were speechless, telling you what she thought of you as a parent probably would have got them the sack

I'd say negative but in life it be a positive

I’d say it was a positive remark. My child was described as delightful and quirky which I took to be positive but some one commented that i shouldn’t be happy about my child being described as quirky.

Why ever not ? He is quirky and that makes him delightful ( amongst other things).

I’d say get her into drama classes at the weekends and use up some of that personality where it is valued. She might fit in to the group class structure more readily then

This

I really loved the quirky children when I was a teacher. They lifted my day with off the wall remarks and humour.

I imagine most of the children are quieter at school than they are at home, so your DD will still stand out as louder.

The comment and your follow up remarks sound like your DD is a lovely engaging child in general but needs to work on her emotional regulation. Probably doesn’t respond well when told off for talking when asked to be quiet! Pretty normal 5yr old I’d say.

Also, I think it’s worth remembering that in class different behaviours are suitable at different times. So in class discussions teachers will find children who like to speak out easier to engage with. However during quiet, individual work times they will be harder work than the more reserved children.

I don’t envy teachers having to try and draw a shy child out of their shell and at the same time engage with a loud, confident child, whilst not over-looking the middling child who represents less of a challenge. I find it difficult getting this balance with 2 kids let alone 30!

@Shelby2010 Yes, you’re right about emotional regulation, I think that’s key

I'm a former teacher and wouldn't take this as a compliment.

A child with a great/sunny/lovely personality - compliment

A child with a big personality/a lot of personality = a spirited child = not a compliment

At least they won't easily be forgotten!

What age did you teach?

The word confident appeared over 5 times in my DCs report. I am taking it that they may be a bit of a bossy boots. 🤣

i think I could take it either way depending on who I knew my child to be. Personally I’d prefer personality to no personality
but I’d potentially ask, it’s either a compliment and you’re being conscientious by checking you don’t need to do anything for next year
or it’s a thinly veiled insult, in which case if the teacher felt strongly enough to put it in, we can raise the issue properly and we can deal with it.

Speaking as a teacher, it could be either way tbh. What's the rest of the report like? If it's generally positive in tone, then they mean it in a good way.

Spirited, unique, quirky, strong willed, big personality etc are usually metaphors for kids who are neurodivergent but undiagnosed or too borderline to qualify for an official diagnosis. Same as the "manic pixie dream girl" trope is simply based on conventionally attractive adult women with undiagnosed ADHD/ASD.

I wouldn't really care tbh. I received these type of reports in school and DD is virtually the same now she's entering school. As a parent, you know better than anyone how your child is. As long as nobody is actively getting harmed/bullied or there are serious issues involved, I'd let a comment like that slide. She might be a handful to deal with but she'll also grow up and hopefully find her niche in the world. (I had clear undiagnosed ADHD as a child but ended up with a happy and fairly successful adult life).

All the things that go in to being a big personality - loud, assertive, funny, attention-seeking, full of opinions, chatty - can be lovely things or awful things. Think of the adults you know.

So "big personality" is descriptive, rather than judgmental.

Someone with a big personality can be a great friend or an arsehole. (I'm not saying anyone is an arsehole at 5!) A big personality isn't to be quashed or stamped on, but a thoughtful person with a big personality will know when to expess their whole self and when to let others take centre stage.

The teacher said she had a lot of personality…is that the same as a big personality?
Does this imply she’s ND then?

NO!

Chat to the teacher if you can but don't worry about it.

I work as a behavioural support worker.

I'd say that as a compliment.

My "kids with personality" are generally the ones who are great fun to be around and always bring something to the room that makes everyone smile.

It's really not a compliment. I've been writing primary school reports for almost 30 years...trust me, if you've received comments like this, your child is not the teacher's favourite 😂